I had a long talk with my sister tonight. I learned a lot. More than I ever wanted to know. Apparently, her stance on parenting is that the second her kids turn 18, her job is done. She's no longer "mom"....she's now "friend." She also told me that while she can say all she has to say, they have to learn life's lessons on their own, but she hopes they go to her for help. This conversation started after she told me about her neighbors 14-year-old daughter who is apparently a whore, and how the dad acts as her friend and not her dad. I gave my opinion that it's entirely possible to be a parent while still being friend-like with a child, no matter how old the child is, and that the problem with a lot of kids nowadays is that too many parents want to be "friends" with their kids and not parents! I swiftly got the response.. "I love you sissy, but you'll understand when you have kids." I'm sorry, but usually when you hear that line, it's because you're too lenient. If I try to talk to one of the girls when they're crying, she yells at me because I'm apparently "giving them the attention they want." Yea, well, you know what bitch? Maybe they NEED some attention for once! And maybe they NEED an adult figure to talk to them and explain things and teach them lessons and lead them in the right direction by example.
Now mind you, all of this came from a chick who thinks it's ok for her and her husband to spew racial slurs in front of her kids and also makes jokes that her husband.. "needs to get into a fight to let go of some of his stress" ..right in front of the kids.
I have not stopped crying since I left her house an hour ago. It's perfectly possible that I'm wrong, and it's perfectly possible that I'll have a different opinion when(if) I have my own kids. But this situation right now kills me. I feel like my neices are getting the crap end of the stick and it breaks my heart.