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I need advice from people who have put a pet to sleep.

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MangoMaddness

I need advice from people who have put a pet to sleep.

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Posts: 83040

05/25/2012 2:18 AM

Biggest Health Nut '08
Katniss '13

We have an appointment tomorrow for my dog Dante. I am devastated already.

Did you know for sure it was time? Did you find any peace in the decision? I am so torn up and I just don't know how to handle this. How the hell do you do this?

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exclusivehoodie

#1

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Posts: 6090

05/25/2012 2:30 AM

I've had to put two dogs down (the most recently this past December) and I cried like a baby both times. It's not an easy decision but you're doing the right thing because he's probably in more pain than he's outwardly expressing.

Honestly I still think of both of those dogs and it makes me so sad. I don't know, this probably isn't helping you but just know all those feelings are normal and he knows you love him and it's ok to miss him.

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Ease Your Mind

#2

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Posts: 8852

05/25/2012 2:32 AM

Yes, I've had to do it. You do know it's time. It doesn't make it any less heartbreaking of course, but you come to terms that you're doing it FOR them. If Dante is sick, then it's the best thing you can do for him, to put him to sleep, so that he doesn't hurt anymore. Keeping him around to put off the heartbreak, is selfish. (I'm not calling you selfish because it is a very hard thing to do) But, when you can actually look at the whole picture (and it's been years for me), it's easier to see and say that.

I found peace in my decision because my precious boy could hardly walk and had to be held up just to pee. It just wasn't fair to let him live like that. It broke my heart but, for his sake, it had to be done. And because I loved him, I had to let him go.

I don't know what's wrong with Dante, but you just have to think about what's best for him in his situation. And be there for him. They let you say goodbye and I believe he'll know you're doing it for him and he'll be grateful in his way. I'm so sorry you have to face this; it's so hard. Love him as much as you can until it's time. Good luck!!! Hugs

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Once Upon A Time

#3

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Posts: 2212

05/25/2012 2:54 AM

I had to do it 2 years ago. My dog was 16, she was my 6th birthday present. Once in a while I still cry, but mainly whenever I think about her I smile.

Be strong

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JCcai

#4

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Posts: 1744

05/25/2012 3:04 AM

My friend had to put her dog down and was very devastated. He was getting really old and was basically losing his mind (became a different dog). What made it even harder for her was as he was dying, it was like clarity took over and the dog became himself again and tried to console my friend. Everyone tells her its because he knew it was time and knew that it would be harder on my friend than him. I think its nice that my friend got to remember him as he was up to the last minute, not what he became.

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MangoMaddness

#5

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Posts: 83040

05/25/2012 3:11 AM

Biggest Health Nut '08
Katniss '13

I am having a second vet look at him tomorrow before going through with it. everything in me is screaming that this can't be happening, but at the same point, it's getting to the point that I can't take care of him anymore.

he can't take more than a few steps without crashing, and he whines non-stop. his aggression is through the roof, getting him outside is really REALLY hard because he's thrashing around and barking/lunging towards anyone, all while not being able to stand on his own feet, it's getting to be a bit dangerous, I almost fell down the stairs yesterday. I have a full-body harness that allows me to carry him up and down the stairs, but he's 100 pounds and still very strong, so it's hard.

recently, he has developed intense separation anxiety, to the point that I can't leave the room without him going into hysterics. this week it has become really bad, I haven't been able to leave the house. I was always able to manage his aggression issues with lots of exercise, but now that he can't exercise, it's just getting worse and worse, he's even snapped at me which is completely unlike him.

he's 9 years old, which is pretty old for his breed, but he is still young in my eyes. he's my sidekick, I honestly don't know how to do this or how to deal with any of it. I'm so incredibly lost.

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orodwen

#6

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Posts: 28090

05/25/2012 3:13 AM

Mentalist
Melts at 32°F

It varies. I found no consolation even though I could intellectually understand the reasons for euthanizing our dogs. We have more of those days ahead with our 14 and 16 year old kitties. Wish I had some wisdom for you.

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MangoMaddness

#7

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Posts: 83040

05/25/2012 3:18 AM

Biggest Health Nut '08
Katniss '13

so many people say that you just know when it's time, but I honestly don't know. I don't know if I'll EVER know. my first dog lived to be 20 years old, and looking back, I think I should have put her to sleep a while before she died naturally, just because she was in such bad shape.

dante's condition will only get worse, I know that. he has wobblers disease and his spine is curved pretty badly at this point, I know it will only get worse, and eventually he will most likely be completely paralyzed.

ugh this is so hard. I hate this. I'm allowing myself to be in denial right now because the thought of this being his last night with me is too much for me to handle.

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Smallville78

#8

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Posts: 11520

05/25/2012 3:27 AM

Vampire Freak

we put our 14 year old dog to sleep in 2006, he could no longer walk anymore, he would take like 2 steps and lay down, we tried to get him to walk but his legs just were not working for him. so we made the decision to put him down and the vet agreed. we didnt want to do it, but it wasnt fair on him to live like that, he was unable to get to his food or water or use the rest room. its not right to leave them in pain

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GettinHotWithJC

#9

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Posts: 53215

05/25/2012 3:38 AM

Anime/Manga Fan
Batman Nerd

It hurt like hell but I knew it was for the best. 8 years later I still tear up when I think of him. But I knew it was for the best. Plus I had another dog (I still have him now) so it helped.

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MangoMaddness

#10

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Posts: 83040

05/25/2012 3:44 AM

Biggest Health Nut '08
Katniss '13

I have another dog, fairly new, but dante doesn't like him and gets super jealous, so I feel guilty.

thanks guys, talking about it helps. I've never been through this and it's just impossibly hard.

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Jeannine8

#11

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Posts: 10949

05/25/2012 3:48 AM

We put our 16 year old dog down last year. My brother (who was her primary caretaker especially in the last couple of years) who loved her more than anything, was the one who said we had to put her down. I was initially in denial, even though I took care of her as well, and knew how bad she had gotten, I didn't want to face the fact that it was her time, but knowing my brother was was even expressing his feelings about what had to be done really was cementing to me that we had to let her go, because she was suffering.

So initially I knew my dog was in bad shape, and she was only getting worse, and we had tried all accessible avenues to try and get her better, but she wasn't, and she wasn't going to. It was one night when I stayed the night with her (we would literally take turns staying with her because she couldn't be left alone anymore), when she was crying and whining at night, that I knew she needed to be put down. It wasn't fair to her to keep living that way, and she was getting worse at a fast pace. We put an appointment the very next day and had it done after the weekend. So yes, I knew, and even though I 'knew' logically that she needed to be put down, I eventually knew in my heart and that's when i really, really knew.

I will say that knowing I had a few days with her really helped me deal with the whole situation, because I knew the day, and I spent those last days really just cherishing and spoiling her, and I truly believe that made the whole process easier, instead of it just being a sudden thing.

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MangoMaddness

#12

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Posts: 83040

05/25/2012 3:58 AM

Biggest Health Nut '08
Katniss '13

I think I've been in denial about it. I knew that I would wait until my mother got home from her vacation so that she could go with me, but now that it's here, it seems like it's sudden... even though we basically knew it was going to happen last week.

he can't run and play, he can't enjoy life, he can't be left alone, his days are spent mostly laying around either sleeping or being frustrated/bored/uncomfortable and whining. that isn't fair. his favorite thing was running at the park, which he can't do now. even if he's alert and spirited, he can't be happy. writing it out helps me realize that.

I love him so much, I can't believe I'm losing him. he's my best friend. I just feel broken. I know people think "he's just a dog", but he's been by my side for 9 years through the worst of times, and I just can't imagine him not being here anymore.

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jawnyquest.niketalk

#13

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Posts: 5834

05/25/2012 4:57 AM

Best Use of Emoticon award '09
tap tap pull

it's one of the worst feelings ever, but keeping them alive when you know they're suffering is selfish.

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jackson87

#14

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Posts: 1747

05/25/2012 4:59 AM

My friend questioned whether it was time or not. Her dog kept crying, and crying one night, and she did everything she could for him, nothing was comforting to him. Then he had a massive seizure in the middle of the night, and she had to take him to emergency, and they put him down immediately.

She really regretted not putting him down sooner, because his last day was awful for him. She didn't even really get to say goodbye, because they had to put him down right away.

I think it's such a hard decision, because it's not really natural for us to make that decision in the first place. And then on top of it, we see our pets like family members. It sounds like your dog is in a lot of pain, and no longer has a good quality of life. From what your wrote, it sounds like things are only getting worse for him. I wish the best for you, and so sorry that you're even faced with this decision. I'm sending you positive thoughts, and wishing you all the strength you need to get through this difficult time.

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killergoalie13

#15

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Posts: 12003

05/25/2012 5:39 AM

I'm so sorry for your situation, Mango.

I know how much Dante means, and has always meant to you.

I had to put my mom's cat down a few years ago.

Her cat had become diabetic, and needed a daily insulin injection. My mom has Multiple Sclerosis, and is confined to a wheelchair, so she was unable to perform the task, so I had to drive over to my mom's house every day, to do so.

So every day, I would go to my mom's, and give her cat a needle of insulin, to her neck, right where the neck, and the base of the head meet.

Funny thing is, her cat HATED me, she would bite, and scratch me every time she saw me...UNTIL I started to give her the injections. After that, she couldn't show me enough love. She would lick me, purr, rub herself against me, everything a cat does to tell you, "I Love You!" I guess she somehow knew I was helping her.

Anyway, after a few months, her cat also developed Leukemia, and began to literally wither away. She would shake, and tremble when trying to walk, she wouldn't eat, had no energy whatsoever, etc. I took her to the vet many times, and the vet basically said that she would just continue to get worse, and worse, and any treatment would just be prolonging the inevitable, and the cat would just be suffering.

So as much as it hurt my mom, and me to come to the conclusion that we did, we both knew it was the right decision to put her cat down, so she wouldn't continue to suffer.

This was a few years ago, and just recalling it, and writing about it now, still brings tears to my eyes, but I think of all the joy, and smiles she brought my mom, and me (the brief time she did "love" me), and those memories always bring a smile to my face.

It is an extremely difficult decision one has to make, but for the sake of a family member that they love (their pet), so it doesn't continue to suffer, it just might have to be made.

Stay strong, Mango, follow your heart, and your head, and you will make it through this.

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NancyOttawa

#16

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Posts: 23988

05/25/2012 6:43 AM

I had to put my cat of 17 years to sleep one time. I definitely knew it was time although I did try to take her home one more time but the poor thing couldn't breathe again the next morning. Turned out she had cancer that had gone systemic. They had already removed a huge syringe of fluid from her lungs the night before. I grieved as if I had lost a child and it took me a few months to get past the constant ache in my heart. I did choose to stay with her when they gave her the final shot and am forever glad I was with her at the end, but when my mom put hers down, she couldn't watch the life go out of her. It's definitely a personal choice.

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Ninido

#17

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Posts: 13075

05/25/2012 7:14 AM

I've only had to put down my rats before :/ You can just tell they're in pain and the quality of life has diminished. I was bawling at that and I cannot even imagine having to put my cats down when the day comes.

My bf had to put his dog down like 2yrs ago and it was just so depressing. She got cancer and just started to completely deteriorate. She slowly stopped eating and she was just so weak. Her back legs pretty much gave out and we had to use a rolled towel to hold her up and help her potty. She was still so happy though and that was honestly the worst part.

Please stay with him when it happens. My friend works at a vet office & stays with the animals whose owners won't and yeeeah.

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brokenhalo11

#18

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Posts: 14473

05/25/2012 7:43 AM

It was hard, but looking back he was in so much pain and so miserable that it was the best thing for him. What always comforted me was knowing that he really had no idea what was going on so he felt no fear. I was only 16 so my Mom was with him, so he was not alone and she held him paw and pet him until he closed his eyes. What might comfort you is perhaps that Dante didn't have the longest life, but the quality of his life and the way you took care of him made him 9 years wonderful while he was here with you.

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gscaleta

#19

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Posts: 1177

05/25/2012 8:07 AM

This always helped me -

"A Dogs Plea"

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend,
for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness
than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick,
for though I might lick your hand between blows,
your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me
the things you would have me learn.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail
when the sound of your footsteps
falls upon my waiting ear.

Please take me inside when it is cold and wet,
for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accostomed to bitter elements.
I ask no greater glory than the priviledge of sitting at your feet
beside the hearth.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well
to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side and stand ready,
willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And, my friend, when I am very old and no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight
do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun.
Please see to it my life is taken gently.
I shall leave the earth knowing with the last breath I drew
that my fate was always safest in your loving hands.

by Beth Norman Harris

with love from Robert and Chantal Phillips

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NancyOttawa

#20

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Posts: 23988

05/25/2012 8:12 AM

MangoMaddness wrote:
I think I've been in denial about it. I knew that I would wait until my mother got home from her vacation so that she could go with me, but now that it's here, it seems like it's sudden... even though we basically knew it was going to happen last week.

he can't run and play, he can't enjoy life, he can't be left alone, his days are spent mostly laying around either sleeping or being frustrated/bored/uncomfortable and whining. that isn't fair. his favorite thing was running at the park, which he can't do now. even if he's alert and spirited, he can't be happy. writing it out helps me realize that.

I love him so much, I can't believe I'm losing him. he's my best friend. I just feel broken. I know people think "he's just a dog", but he's been by my side for 9 years through the worst of times, and I just can't imagine him not being here anymore.

Mango, I think you know in your heart it's time by what you are saying poor Dante's symptoms are. It doesn't sound like he's very happy anymore. Please be comforted in knowing you are doing what is best for him, not for you. I just ache for how you are feeling right now though. ANyone that has had pets know they aren't "just a dog" or "just a cat". It's our friend, companion, child. Please do the right thing for Dante.

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I need advice from people who have put a pet to sleep.

I need advice from people who have put a pet to sleep.