How To Really Fuck A Man - The Bottom Line
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Author of The Sex Chronicles: Shattering the Myth
First, let me say that I am not professing to be the world's greatest lover but this little manual I am about to write comes by special request. Mostly from men who have read one or more of my erotic stories and told me, in response, that they wish more women were as comfortable about their own sexuality as me. And, even a couple of women who said they wish they could express themselves more openly but are too shy or apprehensive to ever do it. So, anyway here goes my version of getting the most out of fucking/making love/doing the nasty, whatever you want to call it. Men can share it with their mates and women can either take my advice or throw it away but here goes.
Some of the most confusing, disappointing and lonely experiences in life are sexual and some of the most beautiful and earthshaking ones are sexual also. Having had some of both, I prefer the good sexual experiences.
Everything you have ever done in your life you have learned to do. Sex is no different. You learned how to balance to checkbook and you must learn how to fuck a man.
There are four major aspects to fucking:
1. Heightened sensitivity
3. The desire to give
4. Sexual skill (yes, I said skill)
To heighten your sensitivity, take off all your clothes and sit down at a table with several different items on it from around the house such as lace, a silk scarf, a powder puff, whatever. Turn off all the lights or put on a blindfold and then rub these items against your skin gently all over your body, and savor the different sensations they give to your body and the way they stimulate you.Â
Take a bath and then lie on a bed naked with clean sheets and dim the lights or turn them off. Take your favorite lotion and rub it all over your breasts and stomach. Then your thighs and ass. Then go to sleep and wake up more relaxed.
Do tongue exercises on a regular basis. Stick your tongue straight out as far as you can and then slide it back in your mouth as far as you can. Try to touch your nose with your tongue. Try to touch your chin with your tongue. Encircle your lips in a clockwise motion with your tongue and then reverse the motion to counter-clockwise. Repeat these exercises whenever you get a few moments.
Get a double-decker ice cream cone and lick all around it slowly. Then put the whole mound of ice cream in your mouth and savor it. When it starts to drip down the side of the cone, catch the drops on the tip of your tongue.
Close your eyes and run your tongue over the tips of your fingers, down around the palm, your wrist and up your arm to your elbow and explore the different sensations you feel.
Do Keigel exercises and don't procrastinate. You are going to need those strong muscles when you get right down to it.
Dance closely with your man and close your eyes, tuning out all other distractions. It is good preparation for fucking cause when you fuck, the woman must be able to follow the man's lead and tune into his body rhythms and style as well as him tuning into yours.
Go out and buy some sexy ass underwear; not the cheap stuff but the things that will make you feel sexy all day long, even when you have on a business suit on top. The feel of satin or silk against your skin is very sexually arousing.
BUT, the best way to heighten your sensitivity to is MASTURBATE- yeah, I said it and now I am going to tell your ass how to do it too.
Masturbation will strengthen and increase the flexibility of your sex muscles, teach you which parts of your body are most aroused when caressed and what type of clitoral manipulation turns you on most, how to achieve multiple orgasms or how to have an orgasm at all, for those women who never have them.
The Vibrator can be mad cool and don't be ashamed to buy one. They sell them at every drug store under the mask of a facial massager. Lie down quietly with you eyes closed and tune into the feel of your body. Then, let your mind float to something that excites you sexually such as making love to your man, the man who was in line in front of you at the grocery store yesterday, being gang-banged, whatever turns you on. No one knows what you are thinking but you.
Let your vibrator be his hands and dick and caress the inside of your thighs, your breasts and your clit with it. If one fantasy doesn't work for you, move on to another. You have all the time in the world. If not, make the time. You must have patience.
With your hands, you teach yourself to reach an even higher level of sexual stimulation and you will discover even more areas of arousement you can never find with a vibrator. Most women don't directly stimulate the clit with their fingers but all around it because the clit is often too sensitive.
You must masturbate on a regular basis in order to truly learn what satisfies you. You can't learn to play the piano by only going near it 3-4 times a year. When you have educated your body to the point where you are multi-orgasmic, you can direct your man on how to please you better. If you don't know what sets your body off sexually, how the hell should he??????
You can masturbate in the bath tub or shower, the water can be a major turn on or you can insert a number of different objects into your vagina but nothing that will fuck your shit up like a coke bottle or something that will leave splinters so be careful.Â
The two best things, other than a vibrator are a dildo and Chinese silver balls where you take three little balls and put them in your pussy; then ,you take the vibrator and move it around on the outside of your pussy and it makes the balls jump around inside. THAT IS THE BOMB.Â
Masturbation can even reduce the severity of menstrual cramps so give the shit a try. No one ever has to know unless you tell them or share it with your man who, trust me, would love to watch.
Now on to your sexual appetite. Sexual appetite is extremely important to good fucking. Without it, you don't really want to do it and your man can sense it and that is a major turn-off.
Learn to understand your many sexual moods. What time of the day you are most sexually aroused, what turns you on and off, do you prefer getting a few hours sleep in first and then waking him up in the middle of the night to fuck, etc.
If you don't understand what I am saying, begin keeping a diary of what time of day you become sexually aroused, what time of day you have sex, what type of fucking gets the best sexual response from you, etc. After a few weeks, you will learn a lot about yourself.
To keep his ass from wandering off to the hoochie next door or at the job, you must have three things: Imagination, Sensitivity to his moods and desires and Courage to experiment with different sexual techniques.
When you make love to him and he doesn't give back, either he is selfish and you need to dump his ass or he is inexperienced and, if he is worth it to you outside the bedroom, you must take the time and have the patience to teach him. Don't waste yourself on a sorry ass man but don't hold back with a worthwhile man either.
How can you tell if a man is worth fucking? Easy. Pay attention to the way he kisses. If he is rough and attacks your mouth, he will be a rough lover and probably put your ass in traction. If he slobbers, he isn't sensual. If he uses his tongue badly or not at all, he will be just as uncreative in bed. Men who are great lovers use their tongues imaginatively from the first kisses on.
Also pay attention to his body language and the way he touches you. If his caresses turn you on, more than likely so will his dick. If he treats your breasts like grapefruits, tell him to get the fuck. There are many signs to whether or not a man is a great fuck. You just have to learn to recognize them. But, once you have that desire to give, here is how you do it.
Let's get down to the nitty gritty and talk about skills; I could draw this out for pages and pages but let me just skim through right quick. If you want more details, e-mail me or something.
First of all, there is much more to stimulating a man than his dick. His whole body is a mine field of sexually arousing spots. Like his nipples, the inside of his ear and his belly button. However, the most important one is his mind, not unlike your own. Telling him what you plan to do to him can be just as much a turn on as actually doing it, you follow????
In order to be a good kisser, let your lips go almost limp, ease the tension from your chin and then slip your relaxed tongue gently into his mouth. Kiss him everywhere with the improved and relaxed tongue muscles achieved from doing the exercises I described earlier. Everywhere from his eyelids to his nipples and, when you come up for air from a long kiss, suck his bottom lip into your mouth for a brief moment; men love that shit.
When he penetrates you, work those pelvic muscles and don't just lie there like an ironing board or a rag doll. Suck in your pussy muscles like your are trying to imprison his dick. Move you ass in slow, circular motions. Relax, constrict your muscles around his dick and relax again. This is where the before-mentioned Keigel exercises come in handy. And, without even getting into it, all women must master the art of riding a dick so be sure to work on that.
As for oral sex, kissing a man's dick is a whole lot less unsanitary than kissing him on the mouth because the mouth tends to have more germs. You are exposed to more infections at a PTA meeting than in bed.
There are two reasons to at least try oral sex. First, because trying it will probably make all fear dissipate and increase the sexual pleasure you experience and secondly, because your man loves the shit. :-)
As for how to suck the dick, I will cover that quickly. The most common way is to kneel in front of him, take the dick in your hand and run your tongue around the head until moistened. Lick your lips and form a ridge on your mouth over your teeth with your lips to avoid biting him. Then, holding the base of his dick in one hand, take it entire your mouth slowly until you feel comfortable taking the whole thing in. Only by experimenting will you discover what speed and movements your man prefers; practice makes perfect.
Then you can move on to more advanced techniques such as the butterfly flick, the silken swirl, the hoover, gnawing, whipped cream wriggle, the hummer and the tingler. Yeah, all that. LOL
The butterfly flick is when you locate the most sensitive part on any man's body and flicker your tongue lightly over it. On the underside of the dick, about 2-3 inches below the head is a ridge called the corona. Work that shit with your tongue like you are strumming a banjo. This is also a good time to go for the balls and the little patch of sensitive skin between his balls and the crack of his ass. Never forget that balls need love too.
The silken swirl is when is when you continually lick his dick clockwise or counterclockwise with your tongue while taking the entire dick in and out of your mouth. It is hard to do but, if you continue the tongue exercises I gave you, it will become easier with time.
The Hoover is when you use your mouth like a vacuum cleaner, sucking his dick into your mouth until it is halfway in and then, still exerting the vacuum pressure, slowly start to slide his dick out of your mouth. This double pressure is great for making a man's dick hard when he is having trouble obtaining a full erection.
As for gnawing, I will leave that shit alone cause it is self-explanatory. Most men don't like it but some do so, when in doubt, ask his ass.
The Whipped Cream Wriggle is self-explanatory as well. Spread some whipped cream all over his dick and lick it off. If you really have a sweet tooth, sprinkle some coconut or powdered sugar on top.Â
The Hummer is when you take his dick in your mouth and vibrate your throat muscles like you do when you are gargling which makes humming sounds emit from your mouth. No need to belt out a rap song but it can be a thrilling experience.
The Tingler is my personal favorite. That is when you take some mouthwash into your mouth before you insert the dick, making sure not to swallow it and letting it trickle out your mouth while you suck it. It stimulates the man's dick just like mouthwash stimulates his mouth and it gives you a minty fresh taste when you get up to kiss him after you are done.
As for positions during oral sex, they are too numerous to mention. There is the 69 position of course and, if you don't know what that is, you shouldn't be reading this so go watch some TV now please. You can also lie side to side with you resting your head on a pillow while you take his dick in and out your mouth which is good for him because he can handle his pelvic thrust movements better on his side. You can kneel between his legs while he sits on a chair or lies down on the bed, or you can tackle it from below while he stands up, you can lie on the bed with your head hanging off the side upside down and suck it that way or you can do it my favorite way; have a man dick feed you while you sit on the edge of the bed or on a chair. Ummm, being dick fed is the bomb-diggity. As for swallowing cum, only about a third of women are willing to do that and even a lesser number , love doing it like myself. To each his own but if you don't intend to let him cum in your mouth, have an alternative plan of action.
Let me also mention that your hands play a very powerful role during the entire fucking experience. Caress him all over, rub your fingers down the center of his spine, give his ass sensual massages, whatever's clever.
Now for the really touchy subject, ANAL SEX. Don't be shocked. Plenty of law-abiding, professional people do the shit every day and love it too.Â
First, let him explore your anal area with his mouth and tongue. Hell, you can lick his ass too. As long as both asses are clean, go for it. When in doubt, shower of bathe together first. Then, let him insert a finger or two into your ass while eating your pussy or while you are riding his dick. Chances are, after that, you will be craving his dick all up in your ass.
The best position is while lying on your stomach with your ass elevated off the bed by a couple of pillows. Let your man lubricate your ass and his dick with some k-y jelly or Vaseline and then slowly enter you fully from behind until it is all in. Then, he just simply fucks your ass like he fucks your pussy. Sounds simple, huh? It is. If he is too rough on you, kick his ass but most men are willing to take their time and be considerate of your needs in order to make it a pleasurable experience for both of you from day one.
Once you have relaxed your sphincter muscle, anal sex is the bomb. Let him play with your clit while he is fucking you in the ass and you will have the ultimate orgasm to boot. Let him cum in your ass and you are likely to convert to anal sex for life.
If your ass hurts after anal sex, you have probably failed to relax tense muscles and may be sore for a bit. But, once again, practice makes perfect.
I am gonna touch upon two more things and then I am outtie. First, I would like to encourage you to explore different places to fuck cause having sex in the bedroom or even in the house, for that matter, all the time is mad boring. Be willing to fuck your man anywhere and he is yours. Also, try new positions for sex. My personal favorites are being banged up against the wall slowly from behind, having a man walk around the house fucking me while bouncing me on his dick and the flying 69, which is when a man holds you upside down against the wall and you perform oral sex on each other. Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
Last but not least, remember that, not unlike yourself, your man has a whirlwind of fantasies. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it, make a little game out of it and give him a homework assignment and tell him to write them down while you do the same. That can be the biggest turn on, reading what your man really fantasizes about. Trust me; been there, done that. Once he gives you his list, try to fulfill each and everyone of them, if at all possible and, as long as you think they will turn you on too.
On that note, I wish you all a lifetime of hellified sex. Any comments, positive of negative, along with any questions can be e-mailed to [email protected]
Peace and Love,