lilSS wrote:Yep, that's what I fear would happen to me. And it's why I won't let a man talk me into having kids. Men can always run. Women are stuck with the little devils. Maybe if I was a man, I might want kids.
Im glad Im not the only one having this problem. It definitely sucks though because if they dont already have children, they want them and I too refuse to waste my time dating someone that doesnt want the same things I want. Its pointless.
What I dont get is why all these damn men want kids but a relationship ends its usually mom that gets stuck with the kids. Should I ever get pregnant (God loves me too much to do that to me) and the relationship ends, the child is going with dad. You wanted them, you take them and I'll be there every other weekend and promise to be prompt with the child support.
Mom's upset that I don't want kids.
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 maifanluva00 |
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Posts: 5579 (06/16/2009 9:25 PM) |
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forever121young |
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Posts: 11222 (06/16/2009 9:26 PM) |
I just think it would be lonely to have no kids, no grandkids... And this is why 99% of people decide to have kids. It's purely for the selfish reason to have something/someone to love and love you. So you don't get lonely... It's really sad (as in pathetic). |
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 shoebaby1 |
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Posts: 28765 (06/16/2009 9:26 PM) Most Dramatic JJBer '08
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They want kids when its convenient then you're left with all that responsibility while they go out and be single with no kids! No sir not for me.
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6369 (06/16/2009 9:28 PM) |
muah wrote: Well, not everyone needs or wants their 'legacy' to pass on. 
Some people have mental and physical issues that run in their family that might be best left to die off. Quite frankly, I'm not sure that every person should be replicated. Not to mention, children is far from the only way to leave a legacy. What about childress architects, scientists, artists, etc.? Their research and works can possibly benefit MILLIONS of people and last for hundreds of years. Can you truthfully say someone like Oprah Winfrey (if she remains childfree) won't be leaving a legacy, simply because she doesn't have kids? And honestly, your 'legacy' will essentially die out after 2-3 generations if you're depending upon having children as a way to preserve it. Really, who among us go around thinking about (or even knowing much about) our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents?
Your grandchildren might think about you after you're dead and gone, but after they stop remembering you... well, that's kinda it.
And lastly, while having children will definitely increase the odds of having company in your later years, there is no way to guarantee that your kids and grandkids will either want or be able to spend time with you in your elderly years, so to depend upon them to ward off being 'lonely' is somewhat of a fool's bet. First, it's just not fair to ask someone else to be responsible for our happiness and entertainment. Second, with people being more and more transient and moving away from family members, it's not always feasible that family members will be around to play bingo with you every night, LOL. That's why nursing home and retirement communities were invented!
Edited By: Courtney Love1
06/16/2009 9:53 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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maifanluva00 |
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Posts: 5580 (06/16/2009 9:32 PM) |
Courtney Love, you just said everything I wanted to say!
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babylulu |
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Posts: 26121 (06/16/2009 9:38 PM) |
I don't want kids either. My mom's talks about it but I tell her the only hope she has is with my younger sister. My older sister talks about not
wanting kids but I think she'll give in and I just don't want them period. I like kids and I think I'll be a fun aunt, but I don't want kids of
my own, maybe this will change but I doubt it.
My reasons for not wanting children are rather selfish, I think I have a lot of issues that I don't want passed on, and I don't want to mess up someone's life. In terms of dying alone, I think I've come to that decision a long time ago. It'll just be me and my dog(s).
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britalicious |
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Posts: 1350 (06/16/2009 9:48 PM) |
I don't want kids, really. I'm only 22 though, so I admit that it could change. Though I've been in a serious relationship for awhile and that
hasn't done the trick. The only thing Id be interested in is seeing how they look, but clearly that's not a good enough reason to actually have kids.
I'm the youngest in my family, so I never grew up around babies. Kids just don't wow me. It's not like I dislike children... other people's
kids are cute and they're fine at kid-appropriate events, but I never think "oh I wish I had one".
When I was 3 my mom asked me if I wanted a little brother or sister. I said no. I didn't even think about it. I never played house, I didn't have dolls, I'm just not into that. The weird thing is, I think I'm maternal in a lot of other ways. I just really like adults. I'm really affectionate and I like comforting people when they're upset and being someone that people can rely on, I'm really comfortable around old people and sick people too. Maybe that's a big part of it- I'm not really scared of getting old. |
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 9696 (06/16/2009 9:52 PM) |
muah wrote: I think this opinion is even stranger than not wanting kids. So you guys want to pop out kids just for your "legacy" and never being lonely 
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Purplelilac82 |
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Posts: 14809 (06/16/2009 9:55 PM) |
shoebaby1 wrote: You guys are scaring me not to have kids
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muah |
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Posts: 1375 (06/16/2009 9:56 PM) |
Mistress Darcy wrote: That's not exactly it. There's so much more to having children. But she already stated she didn't WANT them, so I didn't feel the need to
bring up caregiving, creating a life with the man you love, molding somebody into being a loving and caring person themselves, dedicating your life to a
precious child and watching them grow, teaching them, helping them... I really just brought up the most basic part of having children, which is creating your
own lineage.
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LuvBug |
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Posts: 2859 (06/16/2009 9:58 PM) |
muah wrote: 
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maifanluva00 |
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Posts: 5581 (06/16/2009 10:02 PM) |
I just don't have the patience to do all of that.
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6372 (06/16/2009 10:04 PM) |
muah wrote: Bah humbug! 
Just kidding.
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rokhas1yummybumbum |
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Posts: 14328 (06/16/2009 10:07 PM) |
forever121young wrote:I would never adopt, and strongly advise against an open adoption. Yeah, it is perfectly natural to want children. Your sex drive is your body telling you it wants to procreate. Your mind may not want to (you
don't like kids/you're scared you'll be a bad parent/whatever reason) But you weren't born that way.
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 9697 (06/16/2009 10:07 PM) |
muah wrote:That part makes a lot more sense to me than what you said originally  I think there are reasons to want kids and not want kids. I don't
judge someone either way. Her decision, her life, her body.
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 9698 (06/16/2009 10:10 PM) |
rokhas1yummybumbum wrote:More and more studies and research are saying that open adoptions are often a lot more successful than closed one for the kids and the parent adopting out the child. I know traditionally open adoptions were considered the worst thing on the planet and people obsessed over making them as closed as possible, but I would advise anyone considering to do the research and look into what actual adoption stories say about them. The results are surprisingly positive leading to more and more open adoptions as time passes. |
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rokhas1yummybumbum |
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Posts: 14329 (06/16/2009 10:27 PM) |
Mistress Darcy wrote:Definitely not. I'm speaking from personal experience. (about my sister) An open adoption was the worst thing my parents did, of course I don't blame them because they had no idea. I guess there's obviously good reason you're giving your children up for adoption, you should just leave it at that and let them live their lives peacefully. Or get an abortion. |
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shoebaby1 |
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Posts: 28785 (06/16/2009 10:28 PM) Most Dramatic JJBer '08
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Purplelilac82 wrote: 
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Irishlvr04 |
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Posts: 5834 (06/16/2009 10:29 PM) |
I have a sort of a different problem. I already had my two daughters when I met my boyfriend. He was 25 and I was 21. Now hes almost 28 and his mom keeps
mentioning how she wants grand children. My bf and I already agreed that we didnt want any kids together and that we would just have my two daughters.
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Laurenette |
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Posts: 2724 (06/16/2009 10:32 PM) |
My family doesn't bug me because one of my other siblings is having kids left and right, we don't need anymore.
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