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 elites renee |
Sexuality Question |
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Posts: 22262 (06/06/2009 3:39 PM) |
If you knew a guy that;
a. Hadn't had a girlfriend in 7 years b. Hasn't been on a date in 6 years c. Had no interest in getting a date with someone.. Would you think he was gay? |
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 StellaXOXOXO |
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Posts: 5959 (06/06/2009 3:41 PM) |
No... there are other signs that someone is gay. Sometimes people just aren't big into dating. They might be shy or just socially awkward, but that
doesn't make them gay.
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MeParley |
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Posts: 14657 (06/06/2009 3:42 PM) |
I'd entertain the possibility.
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dc chick 2000 |
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Posts: 1466 (06/06/2009 3:42 PM) |
No. That's stupid. If he had a boyfriend, or had been dating boys, or had interest in dating boys, then I would think he is gay.
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Alex the Goob |
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Posts: 50019 (06/06/2009 3:42 PM) |
No. Maybe he's extremely shy or something...or maybe he just doesn't want a girlfriend.
He could be getting some without having a girlfriend too, you know. 
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kellyilla |
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Posts: 24358 (06/06/2009 3:43 PM) |
No. He probably had trust issues for a while which could be a reason for him being single for so long?
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elites renee |
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Posts: 22263 (06/06/2009 3:44 PM) |
He hasn't been getting anything
So we're going with socially awkward/shy? |
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Alex the Goob |
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Posts: 50021 (06/06/2009 3:44 PM) |
Sure, I guess? I'm guessing you know this dude, so why don't you just ask him.
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elites renee |
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Posts: 22265 (06/06/2009 3:46 PM) |
I know him, but I wouldn't force anyone to come out. I'm not going to lie.. I want to know, but I'm going to be a good sister, and just assume
silently.
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Alex the Goob |
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Posts: 50025 (06/06/2009 3:48 PM) |
Of course you can't "force" him, just be like "Hey, that guy's hot" or something, and see what he says.
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6113 (06/06/2009 3:49 PM) |
No, I wouldn't assume he's gay.
Not everyone needs or wants to date, some people are quite fine with being single/being asexual. |
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mshinda |
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Posts: 9460 (06/06/2009 3:49 PM) |
That's not enough information to arrive at gay. There could be other reasons for those things. That could describe a widower for instance.
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elites renee |
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Posts: 22266 (06/06/2009 3:53 PM) |
It could describe a widower. However this is a 24 year old man, who loves to cook, works very hard on his appearance, and only subscribes to muscle magazines.
I think it just bothers me because he seems unhappy, and I want him to be happy with someone if he wants to; regardless of his/her sex. |
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mshinda |
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Posts: 9467 (06/06/2009 4:07 PM) |
elites renee wrote:That is in fact more information  .
Still not necessarily gay though. Possibly. |
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Divine81 |
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Posts: 2336 (06/06/2009 4:10 PM) |
Aah. With the additional info you gave, I'd try bringing up a generic conversation about gay people and indicate that you're supportive. That's
actually what led one of my college friends to come out to me (although I had NO IDEA he was gay when I made the remarks!) See what he says.
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 9566 (06/06/2009 4:11 PM) |
I would assume asexual before gay.
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fighter03 |
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Posts: 9290 (06/06/2009 4:16 PM) |
I would say no. I have a few guy friends who never dated until mid 20's because they were insecure and shy.
One of my cousins didn't have his first girlfriend until he was 26, and now he's married. |
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6116 (06/06/2009 4:16 PM) |
elites renee wrote: It's your brother, right? Well, then just say to him what you just wrote above that I underlined. Just casually bring it up in conversation one day; you don't even have to make it about him directly. ("Did you see that report on gay marriage last night on CNN? Can you believe all this nonsense over someone being gay? I'm so glad that all my friends know I would support them if any of them are gay, I just want them to be happy. Silly to care about someone being gay, right?....*changes subject to something completely unrelated*) Just let him know either directly or indirectly, that you love him and will always support him and will always want him to be happy, no matter who it's with (or if he's asexual, with no one at all). |
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elites renee |
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Posts: 22269 (06/06/2009 4:31 PM) |
Yeah it is my brother. We don't have any gay family members, so I'm sure he might be scared to come out. I just didn't know how to bring up the
topic
My brother is attractive, and girls ask for his number/dates; but he isn't interested. I hadn't heard of being asexual before I got on JJB, but maybe that's it. Thanks for all the advice. |
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elites renee |
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Posts: 22270 (06/06/2009 4:32 PM) |
BTW I did bring up gay marriage. The state next to us (Iowa) just legalized it, and I'll be damned if he didn't always change the subject.
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6121 (06/06/2009 4:49 PM) |
Well, then really, at this point, all you can do is just let him know one more time that you would support him no matter what and let it be.
Just let him come out (if he is indeed gay) on his own terms. You're obviously a wonderful sister to care about his happiness, but this is something he has to do on his own. |
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