why should they be helping there just neighbours there not relatives. maybe its time to call some of your relatives to help. he is not the neighbours
responsiblity to take care of
so all the neighbors are pissed now...*update*
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 Smallville78 |
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Posts: 7064 (04/15/2009 3:24 AM) |
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brokenangel |
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Posts: 1002 (04/15/2009 3:27 AM) |
my brother will be home for the summer from college so between the 3 of us things will hopefully be much easier!
i'd like to think that in certain situations people would act the way i would act but that's always been a big fault of mine because apparently that is not true! seriously though - oh my JJB night owls - thanks for the support. we'll see what happens on saturday! sometimes it's nice to have people reinforce your feelings, you know? make sure i'm not crazy. |
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brokenangel |
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Posts: 1003 (04/15/2009 3:31 AM) |
Smallville78 wrote: he has no other family that is willing to help. they all wrote him off when he got diagnosed - nobody wants to deal with it. and it's "they're" i understand it's not their responsibility but i just feel some people need to have a little compassion. |
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orangepeel19 |
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Posts: 10281 (04/15/2009 4:03 AM) Friendliest JJBer '09
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Oh that's terrible
 Do what the disease association said though and
report the neighbors as hostile. My g-mother has it and it's really difficult to handle. She thinks that everyone's annoyed by her being around and her
memory is completely jumbled. She won't remember my mom's(her daughter's) name most of the time but she'll remember giving birth to her sons
and exactly how the nurses complimented their looks 40+ years ago. People within the family don't understand her condition and it irritates me. I mean I
can't claim saint either because I have become irritated at her forming very sexual stories about me but those are hallucinations and I need to remember
that.
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Smallville78 |
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Posts: 7065 (04/15/2009 4:07 AM) |
neighbours expresing concern over him coming over is not being hostile at all. if they were attaching people with objects yes, but what there doing no there
not
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orangepeel19 |
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Posts: 10283 (04/15/2009 4:09 AM) Friendliest JJBer '09
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Um this is a sick man. Unless the neighbors are willing to pay for a nursing home, I think they should understand the situation and stop making things
difficult. People are so into themselves these days, no one wants to do something nice |
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LucyD79 |
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Posts: 1939 (04/15/2009 4:29 AM) |
So they are flat out lying? Did you confront them? What they said? Keep this thread updated please because this one pissed me off.
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JenFromJersey |
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Posts: 16545 (04/15/2009 6:11 AM) Most Loyal *NSYNC Fan '08 |
are there different locks you can get
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the lakes slave |
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Posts: 61301 (04/15/2009 6:51 AM) |
Smallville78 wrote:Did you read the full post? They seem to be lying about what's going on, trying to exaggerate things. |
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Samantha James |
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Posts: 11585 (04/15/2009 7:03 AM) |
Smallville78 wrote:What the fuck is your problem? 
OP, I'm sorry the neighbors are being jerks.  Honestly, I would just tell them to kiss my ass.
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doylefan2002 |
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Posts: 9615 (04/15/2009 7:07 AM) |
These neighbours are assholes, plain and simple. It seems that they've never had to deal with a family member that has any form of dementia. If they did,
they'd be a lot more sympathetic towards the situation. I think that they should be told to fuck off and mind their own business unless they want to pony
up some money for a nursing home.
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PeachesNCream21 |
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Posts: 4853 (04/15/2009 7:28 AM) |
he has alzheimers. nothing to discuss. Has he been violent or anything? If not tell them to buzz off. What do they suggest? Throw the ball in their court.
If they want him in a nursing home an you guys don't want to do that, tell them it's not an option. Don't tell them why, it's none of their
business. For all they know it could be financial. you and your mom need to sit down and be on the same page for this "meeting"
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Serendipity19 |
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Posts: 2314 (04/15/2009 7:53 AM) |
It sounds like you've already decided to get alarms, which was what I was going to suggest. With my grandfather, we bought these door alarms that hang on
the doorknob and would go off when they felt motion (someone opening the door). They would close around the doorknob with a key in such a way that someone
couldn't just pull it off, but if you had a code you could deactivate it so you could leave. It worked really well at alerting my grandmother/aunts if he
was trying to get out.
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Jonesy |
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Posts: 4895 (04/15/2009 8:07 AM) |
I hate to admit this, but in some ways I agree with Smallville. It was a real asshole thing for them to do coming over and trying to have a confrontation with
you. However, I don't think their concern is misplaced. A lot of Alzheimer's patients are physical when they have an episode (and dangerous because
they no longer understand how badly they can hurt someone). It's great you dad isn't like that, but it isn't uncommon for it to turn to that as he
progresses. It is also dangerous for him because he doesn't understand how to keep himself safe any more.
This is a very tough and brave thing you are doing. Have you thought about a care giver support group? Just knowing there are people going through the same thing can make you feel tons better and it's a good way to get wonderful ideas of things to try. |
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DarklyDreaming07 |
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Posts: 46253 (04/15/2009 8:13 AM) |
How difficult. My Great Grandmother passed away late last year due to Alzheimers. I agree that they're being asshole but they might be scared/worried at
the same time. My Great Grandmother was the nicest person most of the time but there were plenty of times where she got violent with someone, including family
and those there to help.
Does your relative get any kind of aid or he is elligble for any? I'm really sorry that your neighbors are being jerks about it. Obviously they don't know how hard it is on not only the person with the disease but the famil members as well. *hug* |
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brokenangel |
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Posts: 1004 (04/15/2009 10:46 AM) |
LucyD79 wrote:i think they are to be honest with you. when they told me he was there on saturday i was like "what?!" and the guy said his wife brought my dad back. but we were here all day i kind of feel like if she escorted him back - first of all she didn't come to the door and second of all if she like left him in the driveway i don't think he would know enough to walk back in the house. then the other guy said it was 3 times this week when we called him - their stories just aren't matching up and it's extremely fishy. they don't give a flying fuck about his safety - the development we live in is all about money and appearances - we just don't fit in, we've never really fit in though. they all know him and they've known him for 16 years. if she did bring him back on saturday, which i doubt, and she knew who he was why'd she call the cops yesterday? why didn't she call the cops saturday? why didn't anybody tell us about the incident on saturday? guess we'll find out. my mom called the neighbors we were closest to, to get the number of the neighbors that he went over to, to apologize and the guy said he didn't have the number but then a few hours later shows up on my doorstep with him? after they left she called him back again to tell him that you know they've known my dad for 16 years and they can come discuss it with us if they want on saturday and he hung up the phone on her - which i thought was just ridic. you come to my house and then don't want to talk about it? the thing that bothered me is it's me and mom living here - and 3 men show up on our doorstep at 8:30 at night. i know they're not going to do anything but it was just really uncomfortable. and why'd they wait over 3 hours to come over? they must have been pow-wowing. in any case, we'll see what happens! all i can say is "what do you want me to do?" because there's really not much that can be done at this point. this stuff happens, you know. if it was a kid that was lost it would be a completely different story. i know some people have concern for him being violent but he's not. he always says "i just do whatever people tell me to do" and he does. they said their kids are scared of him but in reailty like i don't think their kids have ever seen him - he doesn't go out of the house! (well except for yesterday) i think it's the classic case of "there's an old scary man living in that house" and that's really sad. all these kids are 12 and older and that's just bullshit for them to say that. sorry so long...i'm still kind of irritated. |
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waitwhat |
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Posts: 533 (04/15/2009 10:59 AM) |
That doesn't seem right...would they do the same for a mentally retarded child? They are allowed to be annoyed, but not to expect you to get rid of him or
otherwise. They are being assholes, hanging up on you and all that. I'd be talking to the police about the hostility thing like you said, this is all
bullshit.
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HappyCori |
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Posts: 78 (04/15/2009 11:06 AM) |
Next time they come on your property to "confront" you, do what they did to your father, call the police. If they can be so uncompassionit towards a
family dealing with a serious health issue, then I wouldnt allow them to step one foot on my property. I am truley sorry to hear about your dad.
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 bigredmunkeebutt |
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Posts: 12282 (04/15/2009 11:23 AM) |
I'm sorry about your father's illness. Having to deal with the neighbors being bitchy about it on top of things must be a pain- but, maybe they're
worried that if he gets hurt on their property, that your family might try to sue them? That could be the real reason why they get so snippy about him
wandering onto their property.
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oliverbandit |
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Posts: 7326 (04/15/2009 11:24 AM) |
God I wish I could be at that meeting on Saturday. I would tell your neighbors to fuck off for you. Their lack of compassion makes my blood boil. Do your best
to stay strong and realize you have rights too.
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