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so all the neighbors are pissed now...update

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brokenangel	so all the neighbors are pissed now...update	Lead	[-]
Posts: 994 (04/15/2009 1:41 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	if you know my posts - earlier my dad escaped from the house - he has alzheimers. 3 of the men from our circle came to our door tonight to "talk about the problem" it just got me so upset because on top of being a caregiver i now have to deal with this. they're coming back on saturday to "discuss the situation" he doesn't get out often. he got out today under my supervision and he got out last year when the neighbors called the cops on him. i just don't know what they want us to do. we don't have the money to put him in a nursing home. he's really no problem - he's not a harm to himself or others, he's very docile - he sleeps and he eats. he's had issues lately with hallucinations - he sees people across the street - indians (he's indian) - which is no doubt why he escaped today. i'm just so stressed out because right now i'm doing the best i can to care for him. he's under 24 hour supervision, what more can i do? i just don't know what these people want me to do? i guess i'll find out saturday. i'm 24 and i just kind of feel while i'm so glad and consider myself lucky to be with him at this time, that this outside "hostility" has just put me over the edge. edit - update: they called protective services on us! it's like just when you think the worst has passed! i was upstairs watching tv and my dad's sleeping next door to me and somebody kept ringing the doorbell and knocking. well after the incident the other night i don't answer the door anymore if i'm not expecting somebody. so i call my mom to see if somebody's coming today and she said no. she got a phone call then from the guy who's power-washing our deck saying that protective services is here to meet with us. so i call the alzheimer's assn. to see if i had to let them in and they said it'd be a good idea to talk to them. well then i find out they want to come and ask my dad questions and make sure he's getting fed three times a day and stuff and i just broke down. there's no way i could sit through a conversation like that. it's just so offensive to me. they want to come in and check out the house and his room and make sure he's not basically being abused or negliected and talk to him one on one. well even if they did talk to him one on one he wouldn't be able to hold a conversation. it just irks me because at this point this is my life - taking care of him - and for the care that he's getting to come into question? in any case they called my mom and she said she needs to be present so they're coming back at 8am tomorrow. she was explaning to him his different medical problems and the guy had no idea what she was talking about (he has grave's disease which make his eyes pop out of his head and he looks a little scary because of it i suppose) they said they got an annonymous e-mail. well we know it's from the neighbors but seriously if you are going to make the decision and have the balls to get involved and put us through this at least have the balls to put your fucking name down. Edited By: brokenangel 04/16/2009 10:31 AM. Edited 2 times.
Dylishis		#1	[-]
Posts: 6994 (04/15/2009 1:43 AM) Most Outspoken '08 JJBer of the Year '09 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Tell them that. What do they expect you to be able to do? But what exactly is the issue? How often does it happen and what kind of problem does this pose for them...to where they want to discuss it as an 'issue'?
brokenangel		#2	[-]
Posts: 996 (04/15/2009 1:50 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	he's only gotten out to our knowledge twice in the past two years. when they came over tonight the one guy said he was there on saturday and his wife escorted him back - which somebody was here all day saturday, we never leave him alone. if his wife did escort him back one of us would have known about it. then the other neighbor said it was 3 times last week so none of the stories are matching up. it's making us think that they are trying to build a case against us. i called the alzheimer's assn. and they said to call the local police and tell them the neighbors are being hostile. the local police know he's an alzheimer's patient and understand that. i just don't know what they want us to do. right now we just don't have the money to put him in a home...
BrightGreenEyes47		#3	[-]
Posts: 3499 (04/15/2009 1:54 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'm sorry you have to deal with such inconsiderate neighbours.
Rach Jenny Always Lo		#4	[-]
Posts: 167 (04/15/2009 2:01 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Stupid neighbours. Ugh!
DarthRedimo		#5	[-]
Posts: 1697 (04/15/2009 2:02 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	They should make an invisible fence for old people.
imnotsayingitright		#6	[-]
Posts: 25935 (04/15/2009 2:14 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'm so sorry your neighbors are being such jackasses. I don't even understand what they're complaining about. He's "getting out" - but he's not DOING anything while he's out there, is he?
Triple X Tera		#7	[-]
Posts: 31902 (04/15/2009 2:15 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	What is he doing that's bugging them though?? We have a guy who has alzheimers that comes into our work everyday and he is never a bother nor a threat and we LOVE him. The cab companies know him by name (when we have to call him a cab for home) and even the cops in the area know him and give him a ride home so he doesn't have to walk. I just don't see why your neighbours are being so hostile against him if he's doing nothing wrong.
guesswhatelse		#8	[-]
Posts: 25722 (04/15/2009 2:21 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	brokenangel wrote: he's only gotten out to our knowledge twice in the past two years. when they came over tonight the one guy said he was there on saturday and his wife escorted him back - which somebody was here all day saturday, we never leave him alone. if his wife did escort him back one of us would have known about it. then the other neighbor said it was 3 times last week so none of the stories are matching up. it's making us think that they are trying to build a case against us. i called the alzheimer's assn. and they said to call the local police and tell them the neighbors are being hostile. the local police know he's an alzheimer's patient and understand that. i just don't know what they want us to do. right now we just don't have the money to put him in a home... Do exactly that. I don't know anything about what you're going through, but in any situation I know it best to protect yourself in case anyone wants to try something silly. Your neighbors sound like real assholes. I already said that earlier today, didn't I? Why would they do this?
brokenangel		#9	[-]
Posts: 997 (04/15/2009 2:25 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	we're thinking it might have to do with the fact of where we are living. it's a well off development with "perfect people" and "perfect families". he's not doing anything to anybody and everybody is well aware of the fact that he has this disease. my mom was bawling her eyes out she was so upset about them coming here and it was just heartbreaking. my dad might not be with it but he knew enough to know that she was in pain and he just hugged her and held on to her and told her everything was going to be okay. it was just such a sweet gesture and a sight that will probably bring me to tears for the rest of my life.
guesswhatelse		#10	[-]
Posts: 25725 (04/15/2009 2:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Wow.
Gemini9857		#11	[-]
Posts: 24477 (04/15/2009 2:29 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	brokenangel wrote: my dad might not be with it but he knew enough to know that she was in pain and he just hugged her and held on to her and told her everything was going to be okay. it was just such a sweet gesture and a sight that will probably bring me to tears for the rest of my life. That's sweet. I'm just curious here (my grandmother had the disease) but does he still you who y'all are? Because my grandmother wouldn't really know - she would think that my mom was her [my grandmother's] sister and such.
brokenangel		#12	[-]
Posts: 998 (04/15/2009 2:35 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Gemini9857 wrote: brokenangel wrote: my dad might not be with it but he knew enough to know that she was in pain and he just hugged her and held on to her and told her everything was going to be okay. it was just such a sweet gesture and a sight that will probably bring me to tears for the rest of my life. That's sweet. I'm just curious here (my grandmother had the disease) but does he still you who y'all are? Because my grandmother wouldn't really know - she would think that my mom was her [my grandmother's] sister and such. he knows who we are but he doesn't really know his connection to us. he is very attached to my mother and knows that she's "patti" but has no idea he's married - if you ask him if he's married he'll laugh and say no. he knows that i'm close to him but he doesn't know i'm his daughter. the other day he came to me and said "you are the person that takes care of everything" but when i tell him i'm his kid he thinks it's funny because most days he seems to think he's 25 (he's 69) he recognizes people - he knows my brothers by name, but he doesn't recognize who they are in his life. he just thinks everytbody is his "friend"
Stringer Bell 32		#13	[-]
Posts: 2339 (04/15/2009 2:43 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'd tell them to kiss my ass what a bunch of lousy people
JJB Is The New Google		#14	[-]
Posts: 234 (04/15/2009 2:46 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	My boyfriend's mom has Alzheimer's. She's in the final stages of it, he and his father both decided to put her in a Nursing home. But they still visit her. He took me to meet her, it was the sweetest, most heartbreaking thing I ever witnessed. He was so sweet with her, and she squeezed my boyfriend's finger. But aside from that, she lost the ability to speak awhile ago. Though her eyes did wander over to me and she smiled the entire time we were with her As for your dad, I'm sorry to hear about your fail neighbors, and I hope it all works out. Tell them how you feel and worst case, maybe take it to the neighborhood council or something?
Smallville78		#15	[-]
Posts: 7063 (04/15/2009 3:04 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	im sorry you have to take care of your father all the time. but i dont blame your neighbours and i dont agree with people here calling them assholes or they fail, i mean come on you wouldnt want someone come banging on your door or anything in the sence its not there job to keep bringing him back or anything, i dont blame them for calling the cops. there is sensors that you can get to put on doors that let you know if it has been opened. get some of those. Edited By: Smallville78 04/15/2009 3:07 AM. Edited 1 times.
BrightGreenEyes47		#16	[-]
Posts: 3507 (04/15/2009 3:08 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Smallville78 wrote: im sorry you have to take care of your father all the time. but i dont blame your neighbours and i dont agree with people here calling them assholes or they fail, i mean come on you wouldnt want someone come banging on your door or anything in the sence its not there job to keep bringing him back or anything, i dont blame them for calling the cops. there is sensors that you can get to put on doors that let you know if it has been opened. get some of those. . I beg to differ. Her and her mom are obviously going through a lot having to take care of her father. He's not wandering that frequently anyhow. Her neighbours should be helping her, not making her problems worse (like making her mother cry). People have too much of a skewed take on reality. The inconvenience of having a sweet old man wander into your yard is nothing compared with watching a loved one's health deteriorate. They need to get over themselves
brokenangel		#17	[-]
Posts: 1000 (04/15/2009 3:09 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	JJB Is The New Google wrote: My boyfriend's mom has Alzheimer's. She's in the final stages of it, he and his father both decided to put her in a Nursing home. But they still visit her. He took me to meet her, it was the sweetest, most heartbreaking thing I ever witnessed. He was so sweet with her, and she squeezed my boyfriend's finger. But aside from that, she lost the ability to speak awhile ago. Though her eyes did wander over to me and she smiled the entire time we were with her As for your dad, I'm sorry to hear about your fail neighbors, and I hope it all works out. Tell them how you feel and worst case, maybe take it to the neighborhood council or something? i'n sorry to hear about your boyfriend's mother. he's going to have to go to the nursing home eventually but right now my mom is doing everything she can to save up money to get him there. once she sells this house we should be okay! i never realized how hard it would be to put a parent in the home, you always want to think that you'll be able to give them the best care, you know? my mom was calling her friends for advice tonight and she just started crying everytime she started the story and handed the phone over to me so no doubt i'm going to the be one to deal with this come saturday. like i said to them tonight "what do you want me to do?" we're not stupid, he needs to be in a home and we recognize that but until that day comes that we can actually afford it, he'll be living here with us. he's not one of those patients that's aggressive - he really is a very sweet man. tonight was the first time i realized how hard it was for my mom. she's never showed much emotion and she's just so upset that they are acting like this. she said that while her and my father have had their differences (the seperated for a short time) that she knows if the situation was reversed he would take care of her and she loves him. this is the person that she thought she was going to grow old with. i suppose it's the classic situation that you don't know what's going on until you're in somebody's shoes. i understand they don't want to deal with it. i guess saturday can be a good thing because if they are here to see him for only a short period of time they will recognize what we are dealing with.
brokenangel		#18	[-]
Posts: 1001 (04/15/2009 3:17 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	BrightGreenEyes47 wrote: Smallville78 wrote: im sorry you have to take care of your father all the time. but i dont blame your neighbours and i dont agree with people here calling them assholes or they fail, i mean come on you wouldnt want someone come banging on your door or anything in the sence its not there job to keep bringing him back or anything, i dont blame them for calling the cops. there is sensors that you can get to put on doors that let you know if it has been opened. get some of those. . I beg to differ. Her and her mom are obviously going through a lot having to take care of her father. He's not wandering that frequently anyhow. Her neighbours should be helping her, not making her problems worse (like making her mother cry). People have too much of a skewed take on reality. The inconvenience of having a sweet old man wander into your yard is nothing compared with watching a loved one's health deteriorate. They need to get over themselves thank you for the kind words greeneyes!!! i had child locks on the doors but he got through them so this week we are getting alarms. i never really knew it was going to be this hard. a baby you can put in a crib but a 6 foot 1 man? not so much. it's really trying to have to keep an eye out 24 hours a day. i can't even go to take a piss without something happening it seems. like i said before i'm not upset the neighbors called the cops. i'm upset they showed up at 8:30 at night at my doorstep looking for some kind of confrontation. like seriously - what do you want me to do? if they want to contribute $5000 a month to put him in a nursing home - be my guest!
JJB Is The New Google		#19	[-]
Posts: 235 (04/15/2009 3:19 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Yeah, my boyfriend told me it was really hard for them to decide it was time. His parents are super close, they did all they could to keep her home but it was too much.
BrightGreenEyes47		#20	[-]
Posts: 3511 (04/15/2009 3:22 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	No problem, hun. I can't believe your neighbours. They should be helping you, not making your problems worse. I can definitely see watching him as being more work than watching a child. Two minutes for a bathroom break is enough time to wander for him. Hopefully things work out for you soon. You sound like you need a much deserved break.

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so all the neighbors are pissed now...update

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