I want to know what you guys think about this. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 11 months and we're sophomores in college. Our relationship has
always been really good, and we've never really had any big fights or issues or anything. I think the biggest issue we've had to deal with (which is
pretty ridiculous) is that his male best friend had a little crush on me at the beginning of freshman year, never made any attempt to try to date me or
anything, got over it, and then when my boyfriend and I started dating, he went apeshit and was completely jealous. A year later, he still doesn't like
being in the same room as us and won't hang out with us if we are together (the male friend is friends with me too, but doesn't act weird around me
when it's just the two of us). Now, my boyfriend's best friend is a girl who is one of my friends as well and also happens to be in my sorority (we met
through my boyfriend). They got a lot closer because she was the mediator between my boyfriend and the male friend. The weird thing is (which is the part I
wanted to get your opinions on) is that my boyfriend is almost obsessed with her. He talks about her a lot and is really protective over her. Whenever the 3 of
us are at a party, he always seems to gravitate toward her rather than me, which some of our other friends have noticed as well. He will drop almost anything
to help her out if she needs a ride, etc. Last night, at a party at my boyfriend's place that she was sober at, he took her into his room and closed
(locked?) the door. When my roommate asked me where he was, I said they were both gone, and she knocked on his door. When he answered, the friend was lying on
his bed and my boyfriend said "Oh, I'm just getting her away from the noise." Is that weird or am I just overreacting? I know that nothing is
going on (physically) between them, but it drives me crazy that he is always focused on her and will basically ditch me at a party to take care of her. Is he
emotionally cheating? Is that even a real thing? I don't know. What do you guys think? BTW, sorry for the novel...
Give me your take on a boyfriend issue
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 luckySC 0409 |
Give me your take on a boyfriend issue |
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Posts: 187 (02/01/2009 1:41 PM) |
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merchasa |
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Posts: 1072 (02/01/2009 1:44 PM) |
Hes just not that into you.
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Fishermanjoe21 |
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Posts: 3343 (02/01/2009 1:45 PM) |
The whole bedroom/closed door does seem a little strange.
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sweetrachel04 |
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Posts: 2107 (02/01/2009 1:45 PM) |
1. That's really really really weird.
2. How do you know nothing physical is going on? |
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Alex the Goob |
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Posts: 45476 (02/01/2009 1:45 PM) |
Emotional cheating is definitely a real thing, and it seems like that's what's going on here.
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 DarthRedimo |
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Posts: 913 (02/01/2009 1:46 PM) |
He is in love with her but she only likes him as a friend. You are fine unless she gets drunk and horny.
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joshyjuju |
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Posts: 1340 (02/01/2009 1:46 PM) |
He should rethink his priorities and the top priority has to be you, of course. Maybe you can talk to him and tell him that even your friends have been
noticing his overprotectiveness ?
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OhManImScrewed |
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Posts: 15200 (02/01/2009 1:47 PM) |
Honestly, I would be very suspicious. It's one thing to have a good female friend, but it's another to treat her like a princess while neglecting you
in the process.
The reason I would be worried is because I have been the female friend in this situation. My best guy friend was in love with me but dating another girl. He would constantly leave parties and be by my side at my beck and call. We would end up in rooms alone together. He treated me like a princess and left his girl in the dust a lot. Eventually he left her. I don't know how extreme your situation is, but it sounds extremely fishy to me. Before jumping to conclusions, you need to talk to him in a calm manner though. |
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BackToReality |
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Posts: 16180 (02/01/2009 1:51 PM) |
Yeah I wouldn't be having that.
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merchasa |
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Posts: 1075 (02/01/2009 1:52 PM) |
and......he's just not that into you. He is however, really into her. Sorry.
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Ducky Luv |
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Posts: 25487 (02/01/2009 1:54 PM) |
Hey I've seen this before. My boyfriend became friends with my "good friend." He was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. Nothing
was going on, they assured me. Turns out "nothing" is a matter of semantics. Fucking every chance they got was "nothing."
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luckySC 0409 |
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Posts: 188 (02/01/2009 1:54 PM) |
They've known each other since early last school year, before we started dating. I guess I don't technically know that anything physical is going on,
but as much as I sound like the lame doesn't-realize-something-is-going-on-when-it's-right-in-front-of-her-face girlfriend, I honestly don't think
anything is physically going on between them. I feel like this is more of an emotional thing. I don't expect him to tell me everything; I don't tell
him everything that is going on with me. But I do feel like he values their friendship more than our friendship (not our romantic relationship per se, but our
friendship that's a part of that...does that make sense?).
One time a few weeks ago, when my boyfriend and I were both sober and I was staying at his place, she called at like 1 a.m. and said she was locked out her apartment and couldn't get a hold of her roommates. We were literally out the door before he was off the phone with her to pick her up, and I honestly wondered to myself, "would he be out the door like that if I was the one calling?" I'm going to talk to him tonight. It's been bothering me for a while, and I think last night's closed door thing was something that really needs to be brought up. My roommate was livid when she saw that. |
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polkadotelephant5 |
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Posts: 5118 (02/01/2009 1:55 PM) |
DarthRedimo wrote:I've been the female best friend that takes priority over the girlfriend. He says that girlfriends will come and go, but that he'll always love me because I'm his best friend. However, I've always suspected that he still has feelings for me deep down since he used to have a crush on me for years. I've only ever liked him as a friend, but he has almost cheated on his girlfriend while we were drunk together. I would say your boyfriend is in love with her, if his feelings were reciprocated he'd probably break up with you. Maybe the male best friend knows his true feelings and hates that he treats you that way. |
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SweetCherry69 |
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Posts: 3924 (02/01/2009 1:56 PM) |
HE IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH HER.
wake up and smell the coffee |
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OhManImScrewed |
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Posts: 15201 (02/01/2009 1:57 PM) |
Definitely talk. Just because nothing physical is going on doesn't make it OK. He might be trying to deny feelings for her and be a good guy, but in
reality it's just not fair to you.
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 7352 (02/01/2009 1:58 PM) |
He is into her-sorry
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merchasa |
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Posts: 1076 (02/01/2009 2:00 PM) |
He might lie to you, and he might be sincere, but in denial himself.
Go with what your gut is telling you. I would ask yourself, what am I pretending not to see? what are we all pretending not to know? And this crap with his "male best friend" also sounds like you were playing a little game yourself, "he is fine when he is alone with me, just not when im with my boyfriend". thats dumb too. He is really into her. And you question if he likes you as a friend as much as he likes being her friend. So is it just that sex or making out with you is better, or you are a sexual option and she never was? Dont be a fool. |
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timberpond02 |
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Posts: 32897 (02/01/2009 2:00 PM) |
You are an idiot if you think that nothing physically is going on between them. If she is on his bed comfortably then they were doing something.
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eatmyshorts |
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Posts: 208 (02/01/2009 2:01 PM) |
Alex the Goob wrote: |
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The last migration |
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Posts: 4370 (02/01/2009 2:02 PM) |
First of all, paragraphs are your friend.
Second of all, confront him about this immediately. If he starts bullshitting you, kick him in the balls and leave. |
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joshyjuju |
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Posts: 1342 (02/01/2009 2:02 PM) |
polkadotelephant5 wrote:This could definitely be one good point. |
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