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Chapter 14

She was in shock. She looked at the ring. She looked at him. She looked back at the ring and remembered she wasn't wearing her top. Anger rolled through her blood. "Get out," she said in a voice she didn't fully recognize as her own.

"What," JC said in utter confusion as he sat up in the bed.

Amanda picked up the ring box and closed it as she was climbing off the bed. "I said 'get out'," she said again as she threw the ring box in JC's direction.

"Wait, what's wrong," JC asked as he scrambled off the bed. He took two steps towards Amanda and grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. She reached out and slapped him across his left cheek. He was stunned.

"How dare you do this! Do you play this game with everyone who resists you?"

"Huh?"

"'Oh, she's going to wait till marriage, so maybe if I propose, she'll drop her pants before the wedding and then I'll leave her.' Is that your game? How many of those rings do you have made? Ten? Twenty," she yelled at him. She turned to the closet and grabbed her suitcase and walked to the dresser. "Get out."

"Will you please listen to me," JC said. "That is my grandmother's ring. She gave it to me before she passed away. She made me promise to only give it to the woman I truly loved."

"And you just happen to carry it around with you," she asked as she emptied the drawers into her suitcase.

"No, I happen to carry it when I'm going to propose."

"And why this trip? Because you knew I was going to fall for the 'Amanda's Houses'? Or did you think the sob story about that girlfriend and the baby would win me over?"

"That is a low blow," JC countered, clearly taken aback by her comment. "And why would I have to play any games? I seem to remember I was the one that stopped the other night from happening not you."

"For your information, I was going to stop it anyway, I just made it seem like you were the one to stop so you wouldn't feel like you were shot down by me."

"Ok, fine, if that what you think happened, then so be it. But to get back on track, I wasn't going to propose on this trip."

"Ok JC, which was it, were you are weren't you?"

"I wasn't. I had it with me because I had it cleaned up and appraised yesterday," he answered.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Convenient. Any more lies? No? Good. Get out!" she yelled as she pushed him to the door.

He grabbed her wrists and stopped moving. "Would you listen to me," he said as he struggled to hold her wrists as she fought to get free.

"If you do not let go of me right now, I will scream," she threatened. He dropped her wrists. "Get out!"

"Fine," he said with defeat as held up his hands in a sign of surrender before he turned and exited the suite. She didn't see the tears that were rolling down his face.

She paced the room in anger. She couldn't believe she had let herself fall for him. She quickly stripped off the sandals and jeans she was wearing and grabbed her own clothes. She quickly packed up her items in the bathroom. As she picked up her bags and headed out of the suite, she called Gentian.

"I'm leaving," she said after Gentian answered.

"Why, what's wrong," Gentian asked sensing something different in Amanda's voice.

"Oh nothing, just that I wouldn't sleep with JC so he proposed to me," she answered as she angrily stabbed the down arrow button for the elevator.

"What? That doesn't sound like him."

"Well, believe it. Anyway, it's over, and I'm going back to Orlando, packing my apartment and moving back to North Carolina. While I don't like being in the same country as him, I refuse to live in the same city and state." She had the doorman hail her a cab.

"Amanda, calm down. What happened?"

Amanda explained everything that had happened the past two days while she rode in the cab to the airport. "Amanda, that's all circumstantial. Why won't you even consider he really loves you and wants to marry you?"

"Gen, how can he know, we haven't been together that long."

"But, he is a strong believer in love at first sight. He's always said he'd know who his wife was supposed to be as soon as he saw her," Gentian explained.

"Um, yeah, great theory except for one thing. If that were true, why would he have been in long term relationships with other people?" There was silence on the other end. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Listen, I've got to go. It was nice knowing you. I hope you and Justin are very happy." She hung up her phone and turned it off before Gentian could answer.

As she waited in line at the ticket counter, the events of the past two days flashed through her mind with the events of the morning set on permanent repeat. Tears finally started to fall when she realized how close she had come to losing at his game.

"Miss, can I help you," the ticketing agent finally said loud enough to break Amanda's concentration.

"Yeah," she replied as she wiped her eyes and handed the gentleman her ticket and ID.

"This isn't for five days," he said suspiciously as he eyed her.

"Yeah, I know, I have to leave now," she answered with a distracted tone.

"Why?"

"Family emergency," she quickly said the first thing that came to mind.

"Ok, let me see what we can find." The agent tapped on the keyboard in front of him. His heart reached out to her and he motioned her closer. "I'm not supposed to do this, but this is clearly an upsetting situation. I'm going to put you on the next flight out which just started boarding and takes off in twenty-five minutes. The only seat left is first class and I'm going to waive the upgrade fee," he said and handed her the boarding pass. "I'm going to call the gate and ask them to hold the plane for an extra minute or so. And Manny here will give you a lift to security and on to the gate. You should make it just in time. And I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks," Amanda managed to smile as she took the boarding pass and baggage claim ticket. She walked with Manny to the waiting golf cart. Because she was with the airline worker, she was fast tracked through security. As they approached the gate, she noticed no one was in the waiting area.

"Ms. Parrish, you just made it," the gate attendant said with sympathy. Amanda thanked Manny and the gate agent and quickly walked down the ramp to the waiting airplane. She was the last passenger to board and they were taxing the plane away from the terminal before she had a chance to sit down and buckle her seat belt.

She stared out her window as the aircraft reached cruising altitude crying silently. She barely noticed when the elderly woman next to her handed her a tissue.

"What's wrong sweetie," she asked when Amanda took the tissue from her.

"I just had my heart broken," she said quietly and turned back to the window. She didn't speak again till the plane landed in Orlando.

Chapter 15

"JC, where are you," Gentian yelled into the phone. She had called JC to get his side of the story, however, the conversation was not going well because of a lot of noise on the line.

"I'm at the airport. I'm taking Jive's plane to Orlando," he yelled into the phone. He was climbing the stairs to the Leer Jet. "Hang on." He entered the cabin of the jet and walked to the sitting area in the back. "There, is that better?"

"Yeah, much. Now what the hell happened between you two? She called and said it was over, to have a good life and she was moving back to North Carolina. Something about a proposal?"

"Yeah, it went something like that," he said with a heavy sigh. As he waited for the flight crew to finish preparing the plane, he told her his side of the story. "I don't know what I did to freak her out."

"Well, proposing marriage after the semi-quasi second date would freak someone out," Gentian pointed out.

"Thanks for the reminder. I thought you were on my side," he replied tartly.

"I'm on the side of love." He could hear the smile in her voice. "And I see both your sides."

"And," he probed.

"Go after her. Make her listen. I know you, you've always been afraid in the past to be tied down. I sometimes think that's why you were in the dead-end relationships you've had. So for you to go and propose marriage, with your grandmother's ring, on the semi-quasi second date tells me that you mean business. And some how you've got to let her know it wasn't because you wanted to into her pants. You may have to move heaven, earth and all in between, but you've got to make her listen."

"Hopefully she will have calmed down enough over the next few hours for me to talk to her." He sighed heavily. "How do I keep screwing this up?"

"Because you're a spazz," she replied with a laugh.

"Ha ha," he said with a small smile.

"Because you're in love and love is blind and doesn't have the capacity to think," she said seriously.

"For once I would like to do something right," he answered back. "Look, we're about to take off so I have to get off this thing. Thanks for the talk."

"You're welcome. Now go get your bride," Gentian replied before she hung up.

* * * * *

Blink… Blink… Blink… Blink… Blink… The red message light kept flashing on the answering machine. Amanda kept staring at it from her seat on the couch. It said she had three messages. The voice mail for her cell phone said it too had three messages. She had no way of telling whom the messages were from, but she knew they were probably from JC. She didn't want to hear his voice. She turned her attention to the window and stared out the window.

Ring… Ring… "Hello, this is Amanda, I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!"

"Amanda, it's JC." The sound of his voice brought the tears back to her eyes. "If you're there, pick up. Please…" She kept looking out the window. "Ok, so you're either not there or not answering. I'm back in Orlando and on my way over. We need to talk. We have to talk. I still don't understand what happened. Please don't let this end this way. I love you too much. I'll be there soon." He hung up.

She looked at her watch. She knew she had no more than twenty-five minutes before he arrived. She looked around the apartment. Her shoes were still by the door. Her suitcase just inside the bedroom. She wanted to leave but didn't know where she could go. She didn't have the money for a hotel and knew no one in Orlando well enough to crash at their place. As she turned back to the window, an object on the end table caught her eye. It was a picture of her family at their vacation home on the outskirts of Miami. She smiled. She knew it would be empty. No one rented the house in August; it was just too hot in South Florida. She quickly exchanged a few items in her suitcase, packed up her laptop and headed to her car.

* * * * *

It had been two days since she arrived in Miami. She had made only one phone call, to her family. By some small chance, she had gotten the answering machine. She briefly explained she was using the house for the week and that she couldn't tell them why but to trust her.

She didn't answer the phones those two days either. She had gotten two calls from her family on the line to the vacation home. JC called her cell phone ten times since she had left Orlando. Gentian had called twice. Someone in New York, probably Joey, had called once.

She was able to do a lot of thinking over those two days. The repetitive motion of the ocean, the sea breeze and the warmth of the sun beating down on her skin had a soothing effect on her soul. The beach had always calmed her mind and allowed her to think clearly. She had made several decisions about her life. All she needed to do now was follow through with them when she got back to Orlando.

On the morning of her third day, the house phone rang at 8am. Still half asleep, Amanda picked up the receiver. "Hello."

"Amanda, please don't hang up," JC answered.

She sat up in bed, pulling her knees to her chest. She took a deep calming breath. "What do you want?" She wanted to hang up, but she fought the urge.

"We need to talk." She heard the pain in his voice. She didn't understand why, he was the one that hurt her.

"I would have thought you'd taken the hint by now. Usually when someone doesn't return phone calls it means they don't want to talk." Her voice was full of ice. "Besides, I have nothing to say to you. We're over and done. Move on, I have."

"Bullshit," he replied hotly. "If you had moved on, you wouldn't be in Miami. You'd be back in Orlando and able to face me. You still love me, admit it." JC cursed himself silently. This was not how he envisioned the conversation would go. He was letting his emotions get the best of him.

"I will do nothing of the sort. I can not admit to anything I do not feel," she said lying through her teeth. She fought hard to not have her voice betray her.

He sighed. He heard a very small break in her voice. He knew she was lying. He softened his tone. "Fine. Then meet me. Tell me to my face that it's over. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

"No." She couldn't face him, not yet. "There's nothing to discuss. It's over. Please don't call me again," she said. She hung up. She laid back in bed and sighed deeply. The phone rang again. She looked at the caller ID screen. It was JC again. Her hand lingered over the phone. She wanted to pick it up. She wanted to hear his voice. But she resisted. The answering machine picked up. She didn't listen to his message. She changed her clothes and went for a run.

When she had gotten back from her run, there were three new messages on the machine. She didn't want to listen to him or the phone ring all day. The rest of the day she stayed out on the beach. She had returned to the house only briefly when she needed another book to read.

That evening, she cooked dinner for herself. She had gotten into a routine the three days she had been there. It was simple. Get up, sit on the beach all day reading and thinking, eat dinner, watch a movie, and go to bed. She wasn't able to find a movie on TV so she pulled out her copy of The Fast and the Furious. She sat there watching the TV but not really comprehending what was happening on it. Then something caught her attention: a song. She concentrated on the movie. It wasn't coming from the TV. She listened more closely. "Did I leave the radio on," she thought. But it didn't sound like it was coming from the bedroom either. She stood up and walked to the screen door. She had left the sliding glass door open so she could hear the ocean and feel the sea breeze. As she approached the door, the song got louder. She froze. The voice was unmistakable. It was JC. She stepped out on to the deck and looked over the railing. He was sitting on the sand dune below with a guitar:

I don't know how it got so crazy

But I'll do anything to set things right

'Cause your love is so amazing

Baby you're the best thing in my life

Let me prove my love is real

And made you feel the way I feel

I promise I would give the world

If only you would tell me girl

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to your heart

Give me one more chance, to give my love to you

'Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do,

tell me

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to your heart

I'd turn back time

To make you mine

And find a way back to your heart

I beg and plead

Fall to my knees

To find a way back to your heart

The words to say

The road to take

To find a way back to your heart

What can I do

To get to you

And find a way back to your heart

She couldn't help but listen. She loved his voice. And it was full of emotion. She heard his voice crack a time or two as he fought to control his feelings. She was mesmerized throughout the whole song.

"JC, you're going to get yourself arrested," was the first and only thing she could think of to say.

"'If love is a crime, Then punish me, I would die for you, Cause I don't want to live without you, What can I do'," he replied. She didn't respond. His heart ached at the sight of her standing on the deck. He wanted to touch her, to run up the steps and hold her in his arms, to make her understand. "Can I come up and talk," he finally asked.

She hesitated. She wanted to talk to him. She needed to talk to him. But she didn't trust herself to be alone with him. She went against her feelings. "How about going out somewhere?"

"Ok, not exactly private, but ok," he replied.

He met her at her car a few minutes later. They didn't say much at first. She drove to an all-night diner. It was quiet and the food was decent. They sat in a booth in the back. She looked at him from across the table. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking as if he hadn't slept in days. He watched her. Her skin was darker and her hair had sun streaks. But he noticed the dark circles under her eyes as well.

"So, I guess you talked with my family," she finally said as she played with her glass of soda.

"Yeah, it took some doing, but your mother finally gave in. I think she got tired of me calling every hour," he said with a bit of a laugh. She smiled. "I miss that," he said.

"What," she asked slightly confused.

"Your smile. It lights up your face."

"Uh, thanks." There was an awkward silence. "So…"

"…so. I'd ask how you've been, but I can see the circles under your eyes."

"Geez, you really know how to flatter a gal," she replied a bit too harshly. She took a deep breath and started again. "Yeah, new bed I guess. You've got the circles too," she pointed out.

"I know, I've not been sleeping well either. Kinda hard to when you keep thinking about something that's happened but can't figure out why it went wrong," he answered. She didn't respond. "What did happen? I mean, please don't think I'm being a ditz or something, but I really don't understand what freaked you out."

"JC…" It was the first time she said his name that night and it sounded so sweet coming from her lips. "…Think about it from my perspective. I barely know you the person. Yes, I know JC, the pop superstar, the infatuation of millions world wide, the singer, the producer, but I don't know you. I don't understand how you think or what makes you really happy, what your favorite food really is, whether or not you leave the seat up or down. And you know even less of me. So after our conversation about waiting, for you to go and propose marriage the next day, the only conclusion I can come to is that all you're interested in is a roll in the hay."

"I didn't mean that, honestly. I'm impulsive. I know what I want and I go for it. And that's what I did with you. I want you. I want everything. You challenge me to be a better person. I want to know how you think. If I could, I would love to bottle that smile and laugh and take it everywhere I go. You make me feel alive. You make me feel like a normal person. So many people treat me like the superstar every day. And don't get me wrong it's nice from time to time, but after meeting you, I wish more people were like you, treating me as if I was nothing more than the average guy living next door. As much as it frustrates me, I love the way you don't need or want material things as displays of affections. I love how you're not afraid to work hard to get what you want," he said. He stopped when the waitress brought their food.

"It seems like we have a big problem," Amanda said a minute or two later.

"What's that," JC asked with curiosity evident in his voice.

"You and I don't understand each other yet," she answered. JC raised an eyebrow. "Our way of thinking is vastly different and it frustrates or scares us when the other does something totally out of character for our mind sets." JC's confusion showed on his face. "While I thought it was perfectly normal for my reaction to the gifts, you didn't understand. It frustrated you. It was frustrating to me. I've been sheltered. People don't bestow lavish gifts unless they want something. You've got worldly experience. Someone dropping fifty grand for a car for a simple gift is nothing, in your frame of reference." He nodded his understanding. "And for someone who had never really been in any type of relationship, marriage proposal after only two dates is very scary."

"Why was it scary?"

"Because I've never felt this way. I've never had to deal with the feelings I'm having. I don't know if they're love, I think they're love, or are they're just physical desire. And then add a marriage proposal and it just freaked me out."

"I never meant for that to happen. And I've never felt this way before. I know I'm in love."

"How?"

"Well, and this may not make any sense, all my other relationships, sex has been nothing more than a way to satisfy a physical desire. It was all about lust, for a lack of a better word. And I think that was part of why I always jumped into it in the past."

"But what about now? You act as if you can't take your hands off me."

"I know, but now it's not just a physical desire. It's also an emotional desire. In the past, I just did it as a physical outlet of energy and stress. Emotionally, I would feel the same way about a one night stand as I did about an ex - just another lay. But now I want to find that intimacy that sex is supposed to bring to a relationship. I want to learn about you. I want you to learn about me. I want to hold you. I want to be able to look into your eyes and know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. That night spent with you, holding you in my arms while you slept, was one of the best nights of sleep I've had in a long time. Before it was a physical need. Now it's an emotional need."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"In all the interviews you've read, how many times had I said I was ready to settle down and get married?"

Amanda thought. "None that I recall."

"Exactly. I've never wanted to get married till I met you. I knew almost immediately you were the one. Do you know the reason I broke up with the girlfriends you knew about?"

"No, while I wondered, I figured if you wanted the public to know, you'd say something."

"I broke up with them was because they were pressuring me into marriage. There were times I could barely see myself with them for three months, much less 'till death do us part'."

"Then why'd you stay with them?"

"Because it was familiar. Because there were times I thought that maybe I was just being blind and that they were really the one. Because they put up with my career and me so I felt I owed them something. It's something that I will probably never be able to fully explain. Like a lot of things."

Amanda didn't know how to respond. "Can I ask you something," JC finally said.

"Uh, sure, only seems fair."

"Why have you never been in a serious relationship?"

"Good question. Partly because I'm picky. Partly because I'm insecure. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting hurt."

"Again?"

"No. I've never really been in a relationship long enough to know a bad 'hurt'. It's more about society today. I look at all the relationships that go wrong. People, like my parents that separate after twenty-five years of marriage. Three of my best friends from high school have gotten married. Two have already gotten divorced. We've only been out of high school for six and seven years. And, while marriage scares me, it freaked me out even more when you proposed because celebrity marriages are so much more high intensity. I mean, I think I can name maybe two celebrity couples that have been married for more than twenty years."

"If marrying a celebrity scares you, then why date one?"

She paused for a moment. "Have you ever had a preconceived notion about something but decided to give it a try anyway because maybe it wasn't what you thought it would be?" JC nodded. "That's kinda where I'm coming from."

"So you only wanted to date me because I'm a celebrity?"

"No. It's like I've said before, you're a normal person with an abnormal job, as is the case with any celebrity. But it took me a while after meeting you to start practicing what I was preaching when it came to my feelings. And then it finally hit me, I wanted to date you because I wanted to get to know Joshua Scott Chasez, the guy doing his damnedest to impress me, not because I wanted to be seen with JC from *Nsync. And if eventually we got to that point, we'd get married."

"And now?"

"I've done a lot of thinking the three days I've been down here, especially today, this evening…"

"And…?"

She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "I came to the conclusion that I needed to pack my bags and go home…"

"Please don't. I don't think I can live with out you," JC interrupted with tears in his eyes.

Amanda held up a finger making him pause. "Then, after our conversation this morning and our talk tonight, I realized that was not the right decision. I over reacted. And I'm sorry," she said as her voice cracked with emotions. "I really didn't mean to do this to you. And if I could, I'd put things back to where we were. I'm sorry," she said again softly as a tear fell.

"Don't, this is as much my fault too. If I would stop and think every once in a while, maybe I wouldn't keep doing this type of stuff that makes you upset."

"No matter, I do know this talk will help us avoid this problem in the future, I hope," she replied pensively.

"Does this mean what I think it does," JC responded, not quite sure to believe his ears or not.

"Do I have to spell it out," she asked with a laugh. "I want to give us another chance."

"Really?"

"Will you stop questioning this before I change my mind," she said as she stood up slightly and leaned over the table. JC mirrored her actions.

"I love you," he said just before they kissed.

Chapter 16

They talked for a couple more hours, finally leaving the diner around one in the morning. "Do you need me to drive you to your hotel," she asked as they climbed into her car.

"I haven't gotten a hotel room yet. I came straight to your place from the airport," he replied sheepishly.

"And I don't remember seeing a car in the drive when we left," she probed.

"Ahh, took a cab."

"And your luggage?"

"Hidden behind a bush under the bay window."

"You either didn't think this trip through or you had faith we'd get back together," she said as they pulled to a stop at a light. She looked over at him and smiled and took his left hand with her right. He pulled it up to his lips and kissed it gently.

"A bit of both," he replied with a laugh. "So I figure when we get back to your place, I'll call another cab and go to the Fontainebleau or something."

"Or you could stay with me," she replied matter-of-factly. She heard him draw a hesitant breath. "I mean, I've got three other bedrooms, why let them go to waste."

"Done," he said as he yawned loudly. They sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of the drive.

When they arrived at the house, JC retrieved his luggage and Amanda showed him to his room. It was nicely appointed room and decorated in creams and light browns with a balcony over looking the ocean. "The bed's already made and towels are under the sink in the bathroom," she said as she turned down the covers and drew the curtains across the sliding glass door. "I'll be right next door if you need anything," she said as she walked to him.

He took her in his arms and held her silently. She rested her head on his chest and sighed. "This feels right," she said.

"Yeah it does," he said as he drew back slightly and kissed her on her forehead. "I've missed this."

"Yeah, me too," she replied as she took his face in her hands and leaned up for a gentle kiss. "Sleep well."

"You too," he said with another kiss on her forehead. "I love you," he said as she left the room.

She turned as she stepped out of the room. "I love you too," she said with a playful smile on her lips.

When she got to her room, she quickly changed and slipped under the covers of her bed. Even though she was physically and emotionally drained, she could not fall asleep. An hour later, after trying various techniques, including counting sheep, she was still awake. She flung the covers off and grabbed her robe as she headed out the door. She padded silently down the hallway. Her book was sitting on the kitchen table. "Maybe if I read some, I'll be able to sleep," she thought to herself.

As she passed JC's door, she noticed it was cracked slightly. She opened the door further and looked in. It was a full moon and its light played across his sleeping form. His face looked so peaceful as he slept. She crept silently to the bed, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. She didn't want to wake him. When she reached his bed, she didn't know what to do, so she continued to watch him sleep. A while later, she reached out and lightly ran her hand over his cheek and leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on his temple. "I love you," she whispered. As she left the room, JC sighed. She wondered if he had heard her.

She returned to her room. "I just needed to see he was ok," she said just as she fell asleep almost immediately.

JC woke with a start. "Amanda," he called out just above a whisper. He looked around and didn't see her. He laid back down. "I could have sworn she was right here," he thought as he inhaled deeply to clear his mind and realized he could faintly detect the fragrance she wore. He smiled. He loved the perfume she wore. A light and airy vanilla musk, she wore just the right amount, just enough to know it was there. He turned over to get comfortable again. And hour later, he was not able to go back to sleep. He was frustrated as he sat up. He had never had a problem going to sleep until after Amanda left. It was as if holding her in his arms that night were an addictive drug, to be able to sleep, he needed her. He laughed at the thought and climbed out of bed. When he reached the door he looked left toward the living room, then looked right towards the other bedrooms. He turned right.

As he reached Amanda's room, he smiled when he saw the door open. He looked in and smiled. She was lying on her back, her hair splayed out over the pillow. The moonlight showed through the sliding glass door. A small smile played on his lips. He leaned in the doorway and watched her. He yawned. He walked to the bed and stood over her. He wanted to reach out and touch her but feared that if he did he would disturb her sleep. He grabbed the armchair by the balcony door and moved it closer to the bed, positioning it so he could look at her. He propped his feet on the night stand and leaned back. She stirred, he held his breath, slowing releasing it when she settled on her side. He yawned again and rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes.

When she awoke, it was morning and the sun streamed through the glass doors and onto her bed. She yawned and stretched and reached for the mints she always had by her night stand. As she opened the container and popped two into her mouth, she sat up and looked out to the ocean. She smiled. JC was still asleep in the chair and snoring lightly. Just then his eyes flew open. "Good morning," she said softly with a smile.

"Did you know that at three a.m., you look like an angel in the moonlight," he asked as he smiled back at her.

"Hmm, that's funny you should say that because at two a.m., you look like an angel too," she replied with a smile.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "So you were in my room last night."

"Guilty," she replied as she watched him move his head round in circles. She saw him grimace as he reached up and rubbed the left side of his neck. "Come here," she said as she patted the bed in front of her. She started kneading his bare shoulders and neck. "You know," she said a minute later, "if you slept in your bed instead of that chair, you wouldn't have this problem."

"Yeah, but you and I share the same affliction, unable to sleep without seeing the other first," he replied.

"Astute diagnosis doctor. And the treatment," she asked playfully.

He turned to face her. "Simple, always sleep together," he answered with a smile and leaned for a kiss. She held up her hand to stop him and reached for the mints. She placed two in his mouth, his tongue light grazing her finger as she did. He smiled as the mints quickly dissolved and then leaned and kissed her passionately.

She broke the kiss a few minutes later. "Can I tell you something," she asked as he rubbed her cheek gently.

"Sure, anything," he answered.

"You know that sucking thing you do with my bottom lip," she said. He nodded. "Could you not do that," she asked sheepishly.

"Sure, why? Do you not like it," he inquired.

"No, I like it too much," she said with a light laugh. He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Done," he replied. "Now, how about some breakfast."

"Ooo, sounds good, whatcha gonna fix?"

"Me, it's your house," he said innocently.

"Ahhh, in other words, you don't know how to cook?"

"Uh, yeah, exactly," he replied.

"Then what do you do when you're not on tour," she asked as they climbed off her bed.

"Isn't that why they created take out," he asked innocently. She shook her head as if she couldn't believe her ears.

They spent the day on the beach talking, playing and, in JC's case, sleeping. That evening, they grilled chicken and watched a movie. They talked a lot during the day about their relationship and what they needed to do to make it work. They went to bed early that evening, both still recovering from the emotional and physical stresses of the past few days.

However, at midnight, Amanda found she was still awake. As with the night before, she had left her book in the kitchen. As she walked down the hallway, she bumped into something. She screamed. And someone screamed back. Both she and JC caught their breaths and started to laugh. She flipped on the hallway light.

"Don't do that again," she said with mock sternness as she lightly hit his arm.

"Me, you were the one that screamed," he said as he reached out and poked at her sides. She laughed and pulled away. "Ok, someone's ticklish I see," he said as she poked at her more.

"JC, stop, I don't like that," she said as she tried to pull away. He kept poking and she finally was able to grab his hands and lace her fingers in his. He continued to try and poke her. "JC," she said as she continued to laugh, "if you don't stop, you're going to end up on the floor," she warned.

"Oh really," he said with a challenging smile, "I'd like to see you try."

"Have it your way," she said with a mischievous grin. She unlaced her fingers from his but still held on to his hands. In one fluid motion, placed her right leg behind his and threw her right hip into his. He lost his balance and ended up flat on his back with his fall being slowed because Amanda still had a hold of his hands. "Told you," she said as she stood over him and put her hands on her hips.

"How'd you do that," he asked in amazement and he peered up at her.

"Black belt in karate," she replied as she held her hand out to help him.

"You know you're going to pay for that," he said as he stood up.

"Oh, I count on it," she replied with a wink and walked away from him towards the kitchen.

When he entered the kitchen, she was getting a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "Couldn't sleep either," he asked as she handed him a bottle as well.

"Not a wink," she replied as she sat at the breakfast bar and yawned.

"Well," he said as he took a sip from the bottle, "we could always try something like last night," he suggested.

"Nah, that chair isn't that comfortable," she replied with a slight grin.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do, and I wish I could say no, but I know that's the only way I'm going to sleep tonight," she said with smile as she reached for his hand and gave it a small kiss.

"So you're not objecting," he asked.

"I'll do it on one condition…"

"What's that," he questioned.

"You put a shirt on," she replied seriously.

"What, you don't like the way I look," he asked sadly as he flexed his arm.

She took a deep breath, "Um no, I like it a lot, I just don't think I'll be able to sleep with a half naked man next to me," she replied with a grin.

"Done," he said as she stood up. He smiled. She gave him a confused look. He bent over and placed one arm behind her legs and picked her up. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around his neck so she wouldn't fall.

"What are you doing, you're going to hurt yourself," she said with a laugh as he started walking towards the bedrooms.

"Hit the lights will you love," he said as they passed through the doorjamb to the hallway. Amanda reached out and turned off the kitchen lights. He walked into his room and picked up a tee shirt lying across the back of the chair. "Hall lights," he said as they passed the switch. Again, she turned out the lights. He entered her room. It was lit by the moonlight. He gently placed her on the bed and pulled the shirt over his head and climbed under the covers. She put her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around his waist. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and lightly stroked her arm with the other. Their breathing and heartbeats calmed and nearly mimicked the other.

"Amanda," he asked quietly a few minutes later.

"Yeah," she replied sleepily.

"What are we going to do when we go back to Orlando," he questioned.

"I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," she answered lightly as she drifted into sleep.

Chapter 19

He had a pulse. She put her cheek back to his mouth to feel for breathing. She also watched his chest. There was no movement. She continued to give him mouth to mouth. Every so often she felt for a pulse, every time holding her breath till she found it. She didn't know how long she was there. Time didn't matter. She would breathe for him for the next five hours if needed. The rain continued in torrents. She started to shiver from the wetness.

A fire fighter first responder finally approached her. She told him what happened. He quickly radioed the situation to his superiors. Amanda continued to breathe for JC. Within minutes, an ambulance made its way towards them, lights flashing, sirens sounding if someone got in its way. Amanda looked up. She was surprised to see the number of people standing around her. She hadn't noticed them before now. Before the ambulance came to a complete stop, a paramedic jumped out and ran to them with a red plastic toolbox. She quickly placed a breathing mask over JC's mouth and nose as her partner arrived and took his vital signs. Amanda finally sat back but didn't relax.

The fire fighter returned with a tarp to hold over the paramedics as they worked on JC. They had called into the hospital and were instructed to intubate him. As soon as they did, they strapped him to a backboard and rushed him to the ambulance.

"Miss," the fire fighter said as she shook Amanda's right shoulder. "Are you going with them," he asked as he helped her to her feet.

"I… I… I don't know," she said with a dazed voice.

"Are you hurt," the fire fighter asked with concern.

"I don't think so," she answered in the same dazed voice as she took a step. Her left leg couldn't support her weight and she fell against the man. He quickly picked her up and carried her to the ambulance and sat her inside. He closed the door and pounded on it two times let the driver know to leave.

From her seat near the back door, Amanda sat and watched in a daze as the male paramedic continued to work on JC. He continued to breathe for JC by squeezing the Ambu bag attached to his breathing tube as he reassessed his vital signs.

"Here, this will help keep you warm," the paramedic said to Amanda as he handed her a thermal foil blanket. It was then that Amanda noticed her teeth chattering.

"Thanks," Amanda replied weakly as she unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders, her eyes never leaving JC.

"Are you hurt," the paramedic asked as he took Amanda's right wrist and took her pulse.

"Um," Amanda answered as she tried to remember about herself, "I think my left knee is injured."

"Listen, if I'm going to assess you, I need to trade places with you," the paramedic explained slowly. "If I'm going to do that, I need you to breathe for your friend…"

"Josh," Amanda said quickly.

"Your friend Josh. Do you think you can do that," the paramedic asked as he turned Amanda's head towards him so she could concentrate.

"Yeah, I can do that," she answered as the paramedic stood and Amanda slid down the bench closer to JC's head. She immediately picked up the bag and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm Mike," the paramedic said as he lifted Amanda's left leg on the bench and probed it gently. Amanda felt a sharp pain and turned to him. It was then she noticed how swollen the joint was. "Painful?"

"A bit," she replied. She kept breathing for JC as Mike reached for her left wrist to check a pulse again. When he straightened her arm, she grimaced.

"That's painful too?"

"Yeah, a bit," she replied again as she pulled her arm back to her side. The paramedic stood and opened cabinets and began pulling several things out. Amanda turned her attention back to JC.

"I'm going to put your leg in a splint," Mike said as he placed a piece of cardboard around her knee and packed any open spaces with towels. He then secured the splint in place with gauze. "And put this over your head," he instructed as he handed her a sling. She did as she was told and placed her arm in the fabric of the sling. Mike stood and adjusted the straps. "Feel better?" He asked as he looked at her face. He quickly flashed a light in her eyes to see how her pupils reacted.

"Yes, till you about blinded me," she replied dryly.

"A sense of humor peaking through, I think you'll be fine," he answered with a smile and then turned his attention back to JC. Amanda moved back down the bench to give Mike more room at JC's head as he began to reassess JC's vital signs. They were almost to the hospital. "Now, when we get there, there will be a lot of things going on. The doctors are going to be doing a lot of things to Josh trying to figure out what his injuries are. They are going to be giving him medication to hopefully help him start breathing on his own. Are you related to him?"

Amanda stared at JC in a daze. She didn't know exactly what to say. She finally answered with the first thing that came to her mind. "I'm his fiancee," she said quickly. She had a brief flashback to a Sandra Bullock movie from years ago and twitched slightly to shake the memory from her brain.

"They're also going to take a look at you. X-ray your knee and shoulder, see what's going on, why you're being so quiet," Mike said.

"Ok." Amanda was quiet for a moment. "Can I stay with him while they're working on him?"

"Probably not, like I said, they're going to want to evaluate you too. And it's never a good idea to have non-medical staff in a trauma room," Mike trailed off as the ambulance pulled into the unloading bay of the hospital.

The ambulance doors flew open and doctors dressed in blue scrubs grabbed for the foot of the gurney JC was strapped to. Mike stayed at the front of the gurney and helped push it out while he spieled JC's vitals and a description of the scene to the doctors. They rushed to the doors of the emergency room, leaving Amanda still sitting on the bench. She didn't know what to do or how to get out of the ambulance with her leg and arm wrapped so they could not be used. She sat there.

Finally Mike returned with another doctor and a gurney for Amanda. They helped her to the bed and wheeled her in while Mike told the doctor about Amanda's condition. As they rolled her down the hallway, she caught a glimpse of the trauma room where JC was being worked on. Mike's description of the scene was no where near the organized chaos that surrounded JC now. A tear slipped from her eyes as she was placed in her own room.

"Oh, Amanda," Mike said as a nurse came into the room with a hospital gown for Amanda to change into.

"Yeah," Amanda replied listlessly.

"What you did for Josh, the CPR and mouth to mouth, saved his life. I wish more people were as level headed as you were in a crisis," Mike said as he closed the door. The nurse helped remove Amanda's wet clothing so she could start an IV.

Over the next two hours, Amanda was not told anything about JC. She was given a complete evaluation during that time. The doctors determined she had at minimum a severly sprained her knee and would need to stay off it completely for several days before they could assess the joint for more permanent damage once some of the swelling had been reduced. They cleared her shoulder, just bruised from being forced against the seat belt. They were going to keep her overnight for observation because of her dazed status.

And finally, Dr. Palmer, the doctor that had been working on JC came to her with information on his condition. Along with him was a social worker, Anne.

"How is he," Amanda asked as soon as he introduced himself.

"In critical condition. He's still not breathing on his own. We're going to move him to the ICU and continue to support him with medication and a respirator. The longer he's on the machine, the more severe the aftereffects can be. We're also worried that if he doesn't regain consciousness soon, he'll slip into a coma," Dr. Palmer replied. Amanda's hand went to her mouth as she tried to hide the sobs that were rising in her throat. Tears escaped from her eyes. Anne handed her tissues.

"How long before he does? And why did his heart stop," Amanda questioned as soon as she found her voice.

"At this point, only time will tell. Like I said, the sooner he starts breathing on his own, the better. As for his heart, if the right amount of pressure is applied at the just the right point, the heart stops beating. Somewhat similar to having the wind knocked out of you. While we mostly see that type of injury with fist fights, every now and again it will happen in an automobile accident." The doctor stopped and looked down at the pager at his waist. "They're moving Josh now. Once he's settled and you're settled in your room, you can come see him, briefly," Dr. Palmer said as he stood to exit the room. As the door closed, the sobs Amanda had been holding back broke. Anne walked to the bed and sat down, taking Amanda in her arms as she did and gently rocked her. After several minutes, Anne broke the hold as Amanda's sobs abated.

"I need to ask you some information about Josh," Anne said quietly as Amanda wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I need to talk with the hospital's public relations department," Amanda replied.

"Why, do you feel the treatment you or Josh has received has been substandard?"

"Not at all, it's just Josh isn't his real name, sorta," Amanda said as she took a deep breath to try and organize her thoughts. "He goes by JC… Chasez…" There was no sign of recognition on Anne's face. "He's part of *Nsync…" A spark of recognition registered in Anne's eyes. "And once the media gets wind of this story, all hell is going to break loose, they'll descend on this hospital like a swarm of locust and your PR department needs to know of this situation so they're not completely blind sided, though I don't think they'll ever be fully prepared for the three ring media circus that is going to be camped out on their front lawn…" Amanda trailed off.

"I'll call them immediately," Anne said as she walked to the phone.

Several minutes later, a well-dressed middle aged woman entered Amanda's room. Anne made short work with the introductions and Amanda told Mrs. Brown the story she had told Anne just a few minutes before. Just as she finished, there was a knock at the door and a highway patrolman walked in and handed Amanda her purse from the car. He took a brief statement then left. As soon as he did, Amanda pulled her cell phone from her purse and turned it on.

"You can't have that on in here," Anne said quickly.

"I realize that, but there are three numbers I have to get off my phone book so maybe I can get in touch with JC's parents before the media does. They deserve to hear the complete true story, not what yarn the media may spin," Amanda replied as she finished writing out the third number and turned her phone off. She reached for her wallet and pulled out her calling card.

She tried Justin's number first. There was no answer. She thought to call Joey, but remembered he'd be in the middle of the matinee performance of the week. She dialed Gentian's cell and crossed her fingers.

"Hello," Gentian answered breathlessly.

"Gen, it's Amanda…."

"Hey girl, long time no talk," the blonde answered with a smile to her voice. "Have you patched things up with JC?"

Amanda took a deep shaky breath. "Gen, there's been an accident…."