Or known someone who has? I have a couple of questions about behavior during it.
Odd question. Ever had a stillborn?
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 Dirty Coke |
Odd question. Ever had a stillborn? |
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Posts: 10134 (07/13/2008 9:53 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
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 Spaztastik |
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Posts: 78643 (07/13/2008 9:54 PM) |
My mom's good friend had 3. And 3 or 4 miscarriages.
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Hp GaL04 |
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Posts: 33688 (07/13/2008 9:55 PM) Most Dramatic '07 |
My mom had one................my sister.
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10136 (07/13/2008 9:55 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
Okay. How far along was she when she found out the babies had died? And in the hospital, after she gave birth, how were the dead babies handled? Like...did
people take pictures of them, did they bring them into the mother's room at all?
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Dylishis |
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Posts: 26330 (07/13/2008 9:56 PM) Most Outspoken '08
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10137 (07/13/2008 9:57 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
I know, Dylan! It's a sad/weird topic, but...I have my reasons for wanting to know.
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CAMiiLLE |
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Posts: 5592 (07/13/2008 9:57 PM) |
I think my mom had one in '97... She was 5/6 months a long and it was the first time she ever had to push anything out and it was the worse pain ever.
Other than that I have NO idea what happend, heck I barely even knew she was pregnant or don't recall her being pregnant at that time. She had her tubes
tied/snipped too..
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Hp GaL04 |
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Posts: 33689 (07/13/2008 9:57 PM) Most Dramatic '07 |
My mom knew about it after my sister was born and no they didn't take pics. She didn't know there was a problem until it was too late.
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Spaztastik |
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Posts: 78645 (07/13/2008 9:58 PM) |
I'm really not sure of the details. I can ask my mom (if she's still up). She got to see the baby, but didn't take pictures...they had a
funera/memoriall for the babies and buried them and got headstones and everything...
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10140 (07/13/2008 10:01 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
Hp GaL04 wrote: Ohhh, that's so sad. I've heard of that happening before.
Emily, you don't have to if it would be weird to ask.
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Carolyn31 |
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Posts: 17912 (07/13/2008 10:03 PM) |
A woman I worked with was pregnant with twins and one of them was stillborn. She knew for a while that one of them was dead...I can't remember how long,
but it was a few months. She had to carry them both to term because the other baby was fine. I felt so horrible for her.
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Spaztastik |
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Posts: 78646 (07/13/2008 10:04 PM) |
I just asked her
 and she said the first one was a boy and she found out at 5 months and had to be induced. The second one was a girl, same thing, but it
was 8 months and then the last one wasn't stillborn, but was born with some problem and died a couple weeks after the birth
She said they named them and got BC and DC's. |
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Ives0509 |
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Posts: 510 (07/13/2008 10:04 PM) |
Dirty Coke wrote: I work in L&D and I've had a couple moms give birth to stillborns. Depending on how long the baby has been passed, different doctors will do
different things. For example, the other day I took care of a woman who had lost the baby maybe and hour before going into labour - her placenta had
spontaneously abrupted and that caused the baby to bleed out. So, if it is considered safe, the doctor will induce labour and the mother will have to deliver
it vaginally - some will need c-sections (but really, to have that scar on your tummy after already going through such a horrible experience, not many doctors
will go straight for the c-section).
At my hospital, we give the family time to be with the baby if they want. Then we will bathe the baby as best we can (it can be really hard, especially if
the baby's skin has deteriorated over time), take some pictures, a snippet of hair (only with the parents permission), and footprints. We then put
everything in to a memory box, and should the family want it, they may take it home. If not, we keep it in our records for 5 years and if they change their
mind, they can come back and pick it up. Most of the time they take it, and do what they wish with it. But for those who leave it with us, 40% come back to
pick it up later.
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10142 (07/13/2008 10:06 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
Ives0509 wrote: Wow, thank you for that. Do you think it's more common for the families to want time with the baby or not?
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Dylishis |
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Posts: 26331 (07/13/2008 10:10 PM) Most Outspoken '08
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We then put everything in to a memory box, and should the family want it, they may take it home. If not, we keep it in our records for 5 years and if they change their mind, they can come back and pick it up. Most of the time they take it, and do what they wish with it. But for those who leave it with us, 40% come back to pick it up later.My aunt has a memory box for my little cousin (a twin girl that died a month after birth. her brother survived). We were looking through old photo albums one day and she went in the closet and got the box. It was so awkward and sad.
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10143 (07/13/2008 10:10 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
muffinlover wrote: How old were you?
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RedLampDistrict |
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Posts: 5949 (07/13/2008 10:10 PM) |
My friend was pregnant with quads and 2 were absorbed, one stillborn. They took pics of the stillborn with a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a
company that specifically provides infant bereavement photography.
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Dirty Coke |
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Posts: 10144 (07/13/2008 10:11 PM) JJB Smartass '08 |
Oh, wow. Thank you everyone for answering. I know it's a really sad subject. I just wanted to see if it was common to take pictures and have a normal
funeral and spend time with the baby.
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Spaztastik |
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Posts: 78647 (07/13/2008 10:12 PM) |
Ok, well OT kind of, but my friend's older brother died of sids when he was 4 months old. He was a twin and her surviving older brother always says that
sometimes he feels "weird". Like he's missing a part of him
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Dylishis |
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Posts: 26332 (07/13/2008 10:12 PM) Most Outspoken '08
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muffinlover wrote: Oh no. |
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Ives0509 |
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Posts: 511 (07/13/2008 10:14 PM) |
DC - well, it's been my experience (and my hospital's experience too) that, if the mom delivers vaginally, most of the moms want to keep the baby in
the room with them until they are discharged. But I've had a few who were way to distraught, which is obviously okay too. But it might be different in
other areas... I don't know :shrugs.
Also, I just want to make it clear that we don't immediately take the baby and take pictures. If the family is truly against it, we won't. |
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