The Post in Which Amanda Admits she's an Ass, but...

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mandypieck	The Post in Which Amanda Admits she's an Ass, but...	Lead	[-]
Posts: 3146 (03/28/2008 8:14 PM) Chris Fanatic '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Tags : jjb, girls, love, public, statement What's up, guys? Forgive the someone "off-topic" feeling and cheesy-ass title of this post, but I just wanted to talk to you all, impartially, about something that's been bothering me here. Yeah, I'll probably catch some flak, but I would appreciate it if you just read my whole thing before reacting, because it includes personal apologies. It's been a long time since I've been on this board, maybe a few months, and after coming here for only a day, I realize how different things have become ever since I've been gone. I used to love coming onto this board. I always looked forward to chatting it up with everyone because I felt that there was a time when we all, for the most part, got along. No matter if we were Justin people, Lance people, Joey people, JC people, or even Chris people (crickets, as of late). Now, there just seems to be a nastiness laced in with everything. If we're misinformed about what a band member has been up to and we dare to ask, we're automatically deemed a "stupid teeny newb" and told to hit the bricks. It feels like no one can pop a stupid, harmless joke without getting jumped on. That we're bad people if we spell one word (or, um, a few more) wrong. Or if we just act our shoe size rather than our age, once in a while. This board used to be a fun place to escape to and just shoot the shit, and now, it's a place where we are more concerned with putting thought into a cutting jab than just taking a moment and thinking about how silly this has all become. Yes, our fandoms are a big part of our lives, but we have more important things to be angry about. Or nervous about. Or sad about. It's coming up on the anniversary of my grandmother's death, along with my dad having surgery soon this summer, while I have to worry about graduating from college on time this coming year and trying to take care of things while my dad is out of commission. I've had more problems with my health, especially my Bipolar this year, than ever since high school. I've had bronchitis twice in the last half year and was in the Emergency Room a few weeks back. And I'm worried to come back to one of my old stomping grounds because I'm afraid that someone will chew my ass out electronically? Sorry to get all "Mean Girls" on you, but this HAS TO STOP! I for one would like to apologize for acting this way to people on this board, in different forums, even within my own Chris fandom. I used to brag that Chris fans were more laid back and not concerned with the clique-y behavior, but I was wrong. And that was partially my doing. And I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for the mean things that I've said and done to people on this board. There's no excuse to act one way behind a computer screen when you know for a fact that you would never behave that way in person with other people. Cyber-bullying is real, and while some of us may have thicker skin than others, you sometimes need to think beyond how vindicated you'll feel when you make a crack at someone else, and try to think about the person on the other end who may take it way harder than you intended. I'm guilty of it. I'm woman enough to admit that. Just think about what I said, okay? I can apologize a thousand times for the things that I've done, but I don't expect anything in return. Except for maybe people to just think about this for one second. Than you can say whatever you want. I have more important things to save my angst for. Where is the Love? Black Eyed Peas fea/ Justin Timberlake What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism But we still got terrorists here livin' In the USA, the big CIA The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK But if you only have love for your own race Then you only leave space to discriminate And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah Madness is what you demonstrate And that's exactly how anger works and operates Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight Take control of your mind and meditate Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all People killin', people dyin' Children hurt and you hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach And would you turn the other cheek Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin' Where is the love (Love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love The love, the love It just ain't the same, always unchanged New days are strange, is the world insane If love and peace is so strong Why are there pieces of love that don't belong Nations droppin' bombs Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug If you never know truth then you never know love Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know) Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know) Where's the love, y'all People killin', people dyin' Children hurt and you hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach And would you turn the other cheek Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin' Where is the love (Love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love The love, the love I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder Most of us only care about money makin' Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction Wrong information always shown by the media Negative images is the main criteria Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity Whatever happened to the fairness in equality Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found People killin', people dyin' Children hurt and you hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach And would you turn the other cheek Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin' Where is the love (Love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Edited By: mandypieck 03/28/2008 8:26 PM. Edited 1 time.
pinkpenguin1021		#1	[-]
Posts: 84 (03/28/2008 9:22 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	mandy..let me start by saying you rock hardcore for stepping to the plate and saying all of that. it takes a lot of guts to open up about things that are going on away from the net. im sorry to hear about all the personal things going on in your life and if i were in your shoes i would be away from here also. we all have our own things we're going through. it's hard enough to come to someone in our realworld lives without being judged but when someone across a screen is doing the judging it's harder because they don't know you. i havent had much of a chance to chitter-chat with you on here but i have read some of your posts and you never came across as nasty or anything of that sort by others ignorance. and ive heard the newb thing a million times and im not new. i just dont post much because of most of the reasons you've listed. but since this is getting long-esque and kinda rambly...just thanks for saying what you did. now hopefully everyone will take a glimpse at themselves before pointing a finger at someone elses mistakes.
joeylance2000		#2	[-]
Posts: 1665 (03/28/2008 9:49 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I think that unfortunately - the anonymity of the web makes people behave in ways that they wouldn't if they met face to face. I tire of the lack of civility, common courtesy and decency that one should afford to people. I'm sure that all of us have made some stupid or ill-advised post that we regretted the minute we hit the send key. There are times that I know that I have resisted the urge to make a quick cutting remark. This is no way implies that I think I'm better than anyone, more noble or judging anyone here. That being said - if I have offended anyone I do apologize. I try to live by that old chestnut of a rule - but it is still valid. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
mandypieck		#3	[-]
Posts: 3148 (03/28/2008 9:55 PM) Chris Fanatic '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	FutureSexLoveSounds wrote: Yeah, there are bigger things in the world that we could be upset about, and I can guarantee you that once people (most, anyway) leave the board they don't even think about the posts they got angry in because in the big scheme of things, it's not a big deal. But that doesn't mean we can't get angry, annoyed, etc while we are here. That's like the argument people give when people are bitching about how they had a bad day. Someone will always come in and say, "Yeah well there are thousands of people dying in such and such place so you should get over it!" Just because there are thousands of people dying every day in such and such place, doesn't mean we can't still be upset we had a bad day. Know what I mean? no yeah, exactly! someone can be upset on this board about JC getting shafted by Jive or by Lance getting crap in the media for his new book, but it's not worth hurting someone's feelings over. I mean, unless someone makes a blatant attack on you in this board, just making a statement about, let's say, an 'N Sync member's career choice, is not something to freak out over. there are a lot of fucked up things going on in the world, and in our lives, as I've opened myself up to show, but sometimes, unless you are reaching out for sympathy, perhaps a thought should be put in before posting something.
mandypieck		#4	[-]
Posts: 3149 (03/28/2008 9:59 PM) Chris Fanatic '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	pinkpenguin1021 wrote: mandy..let me start by saying you rock hardcore for stepping to the plate and saying all of that. it takes a lot of guts to open up about things that are going on away from the net. im sorry to hear about all the personal things going on in your life and if i were in your shoes i would be away from here also. we all have our own things we're going through. it's hard enough to come to someone in our realworld lives without being judged but when someone across a screen is doing the judging it's harder because they don't know you. i havent had much of a chance to chitter-chat with you on here but i have read some of your posts and you never came across as nasty or anything of that sort by others ignorance. and ive heard the newb thing a million times and im not new. i just dont post much because of most of the reasons you've listed. but since this is getting long-esque and kinda rambly...just thanks for saying what you did. now hopefully everyone will take a glimpse at themselves before pointing a finger at someone elses mistakes. thanks for sayin' that
mandypieck		#5	[-]
Posts: 3150 (03/28/2008 10:03 PM) Chris Fanatic '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	joeylance2000 wrote: I think that unfortunately - the anonymity of the web makes people behave in ways that they wouldn't if they met face to face. I tire of the lack of civility, common courtesy and decency that one should afford to people. I'm sure that all of us have made some stupid or ill-advised post that we regretted the minute we hit the send key. There are times that I know that I have resisted the urge to make a quick cutting remark. This is no way implies that I think I'm better than anyone, more noble or judging anyone here. That being said - if I have offended anyone I do apologize. I try to live by that old chestnut of a rule - but it is still valid. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I also love the double standard of how when we realize, "oh shit, I might have written something that would potentially hurt someone's feelings, and I want to change it before someone's feelings get hurt when they see it," the author of the post is automatically a hypocrite. but yeah, I appreciate it that at least a few people share my point of view on this. I didn't even expect people to respond to this, honestly, but I'm glad it effected a few of you.
Divine81		#6	[-]
Posts: 1369 (03/28/2008 10:14 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Amanda, thanks for posting this. You've hit on the reason I don't post much--and I've been here since '99, so the newbie thing definitely doesn't apply! I don't like how free people feel to be so cutting and snarky to others. I get enough BS in real life, no freakin' WAY am I dealing with it online, where I have a choice whether or not to participate. I've learned over the years that posts like this rarely, if ever, have an effect on the worst offenders, but thanks again for trying.
FSLHOE		#7	[-]
Posts: 2229 (03/28/2008 10:39 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I just wanted to post the video
pinkpenguin1021		#8	[-]
Posts: 85 (03/28/2008 11:13 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	mandypieck wrote: pinkpenguin1021 wrote: mandy..let me start by saying you rock hardcore for stepping to the plate and saying all of that. it takes a lot of guts to open up about things that are going on away from the net. im sorry to hear about all the personal things going on in your life and if i were in your shoes i would be away from here also. we all have our own things we're going through. it's hard enough to come to someone in our realworld lives without being judged but when someone across a screen is doing the judging it's harder because they don't know you. i havent had much of a chance to chitter-chat with you on here but i have read some of your posts and you never came across as nasty or anything of that sort by others ignorance. and ive heard the newb thing a million times and im not new. i just dont post much because of most of the reasons you've listed. but since this is getting long-esque and kinda rambly...just thanks for saying what you did. now hopefully everyone will take a glimpse at themselves before pointing a finger at someone elses mistakes. thanks for sayin' that you're welcome!
Starburst1987		#9	[-]
Posts: 2981 (03/28/2008 11:31 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I pretty much agree with everything you've said.
harveyharfblah		#10	[-]
Posts: 80 (03/29/2008 12:19 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I think if you've ever been involved in fandom_wank, that's what this is like every day on this board. People are so passionate about their guys, and that's awesome and cool and fun in a lot of ways, but it also means that people tend to take things very personally that weren't meant personally at all. They get offended by innocent remarks and their automatic reaction is to lash out against the person who made the remark. It's so easy to say things on a message board that you would never say to someone's face. Whenever I make a comment on livejournal or reply to someone's post here, I always try to keep in mind that if I say something nasty and hurtful, someone on the other end of the internets somewhere will probably be hurt by it. We complain a lot that people don't treat our boys with respect, don't give them the privacy that they need, don't give them the benefit of the doubt. So we shouldn't be hypocrites by attacking each other in the same way.
ck4me		#11	[-]
Posts: 553 (03/29/2008 2:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	i appreciate frank and open dialogue. i'm always glad to hear other people's perspectives. so thank you for being honest and for being so reflective...and i must say it's very refreshing to read everyone's comments in here. also, thank's for sharing your life with us, a bunch of practical strangers. as trivial as a fan board may be in the grand scheme of things, it is, nonetheless, a part of our lives...and obviously important enough for you make such a bold declaration, and for us to be affected by it. two hawaiian proverbs come to mind: Aloha mai no, aloha aku; o ka huhu ka mea e ola `ole ai. When love is given, love should be returned; anger is the thing that gives no life. and also... Nana ka maka; ho`olohe ka pepeiao; pa`a ka waha. Observe with the eyes; listen with the ears; shut the mouth. Thus one learns. Edited By: ck4me 03/29/2008 3:23 AM. Edited 1 times.
prettykitty2002		#12	[-]
Posts: 1096 (03/29/2008 2:38 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Horray finally someone that feels the same way that i do. I usually have to think twice before i post something in case it has already been posted. I am a busy wife and mother and i don't have time to go rummaging through past posts and umpteen pages to check every time.
All That Jaz		#13	[-]
Posts: 51059 (03/29/2008 3:07 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Wasn't there already a sticky posted about this by Mod Kim? Ya know, "Be Nice, Kids" and all that? lol I guess I'm lucky, I haven't run into any really 'mean' people lately. lol Thanks for apologizing and being honest though. That's very mature of you Edited By: All That Jaz 03/29/2008 4:13 AM. Edited 3 times.
AshleyJ22		#14	[-]
Posts: 14919 (03/29/2008 8:45 AM) Best FanFic Writer '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'm kind of not getting all the preachy posts lately. I think when ModKim said her piece, that was more than enough. Especially considering how ND has been extremely tame lately, compared to some of our other battle scars. Honestly, I don't think much of anything has changed since I came to the board five years ago. There have always been grammar cops and WRONG FORUM!!!!11!! cops and the mentality that everyone with a post count under 3000 is a "stupidnewb." It's nothing new, so I don't think anyone can realistically expect a change. JJB is the only huge board I come to, but I assume that's how most of them work. There are awesome people here, there are catty people, there are those somewhere in between. So I kinda understand where you're coming from, but from my point of view, if anything's changed, it's that we've become less aggressive in this forum over the past few months. (Aside from the actual stupid newbs. )
LBCutie22		#15	[-]
Posts: 418 (03/29/2008 10:23 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	ck4me wrote: i appreciate frank and open dialogue. i'm always glad to hear other people's perspectives. so thank you for being honest and for being so reflective...and i must say it's very refreshing to read everyone's comments in here. also, thank's for sharing your life with us, a bunch of practical strangers. as trivial as a fan board may be in the grand scheme of things, it is, nonetheless, a part of our lives...and obviously important enough for you make such a bold declaration, and for us to be affected by it. two hawaiian proverbs come to mind: Aloha mai no, aloha aku; o ka huhu ka mea e ola `ole ai. When love is given, love should be returned; anger is the thing that gives no life. and also... Nana ka maka; ho`olohe ka pepeiao; pa`a ka waha. Observe with the eyes; listen with the ears; shut the mouth. Thus one learns. i'm doing that song for my spring concert in my school's choir. just thought i would say that but anyways, yes, there are some people here who think they can say whatever they want--hurtful or not, and it doesnt matter because they are hiding behind a computer screen where no one can see them or know who they are. i guarantee you, if you met 99.9% of these people in real life, they wouldnt have the least nerve to act in such ways that they act online. people should ask themselves before they reply to a post or even start one of their own, ''is this going to offend anyone and would i ever say this to these people's faces?''. thats the best way to help keep the board friendly and real. now is that gonna happen? probably not. but i appreciate mandy's post expressing her feelings toward this--girl's got courage! my advice however, is just to stay away from the drama causing cyber bullies. i've learned to do so and i've only been a member since last summer. i know who i want to talk to on here...and who i want no part of. eventually if everyone ignores these people, they'll stop or they'll go away, at least i hope
samnatlbt		#16	[-]
Posts: 1611 (03/29/2008 10:45 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'm sure that all of us have made some stupid or ill-advised post that we regretted the minute we hit the send key. ^ isn't that the truth. i'm glad posts have been made like this b/c everyone has fallen victim to saying things they wish they'd never said and hurting people when that was not their intention. i think the board has gotten better over the past few months, but i guess everyone can use a little refresher course on acting civil to one another.
nsyncrle		#17	[-]
Posts: 12000 (03/29/2008 11:12 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	All That Jaz wrote: Wasn't there already a sticky posted about this by Mod Kim? Ya know, "Be Nice, Kids" and all that? lol I guess I'm lucky, I haven't run into any really 'mean' people lately. lol Thanks for apologizing and being honest though. That's very mature of you Somewhere is a similar post. I think it sucks that many people will soon forget, ignore this sort of post, going on as if it never existed. I applaud you for making such a post. I have many serious things going on in my life, as you do. Coming to this board was meant to to be a release, instead of another heartache. Not every time is horrible, but a lot lately. I hate feeling like I should be ripped to pieces, and my character be judged, based on a post. I would be in tears, thinking of the incident, and uncomfortable coming to the board, as the beating hadn't stopped! Why can't people move on? Why do people think they are better than others? Why are there so many double standards? Is it worth it to put another person [fan] down for your own enjoyment? Why give negative feedback? There are ways to criticize without being mean or harsh. Why interact with someone you truly can't stand. The ignore feature works well.
InterruptedGirl411		#18	[-]
Posts: 19056 (03/29/2008 1:45 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	In general, I try to be nice and respectful of others, especially knowing in the context of NSYNC and this board because I know how quick some people are to say "oh you're a such and such fan, so blah blah blah". At the same time, I don't think it's fair to say that people should be nice, just to preserve someone's feelings, if there is actually something to be said in response! I'm the biggest proponent for having your own opinion and saying how you feel, and obviously, I try not to cut people down (online or off) just for the hell of it because of something they've said. That said, online or off, if you say stupid shit--at the expense of other posters or other artists--or you're trying to stir up something, then I don't think it's unreasonable for you to be called on it. That's not to say that it's wrong for you to feel a certain way (though, it may be unreasonable ), but you just need to realize that your words have implications that you may or may not have intended. I definitely agree that there are some people on here who take advantage of their "anonymity" and say things that they wouldn't DARE to say in front of you and frankly, those people are morons. I'm not gonna say anything to you that I wouldn't back up in person, because it's a) rude, b) hypocritical, and c) pointless to say it, otherwise. I'm (mostly) nice, but sometimes honesty isn't nice, so I think we should just voice our opinions, expecting the same from others, but doing so in a respectful way.
LBCutie22		#19	[-]
Posts: 425 (03/29/2008 6:44 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	FutureSexLoveSounds wrote: LBCutie22 wrote: thats the best way to help keep the board friendly and real. But doesn't 'being real' also come with honesty? I'm sorry but if someone says something stupid, I am going to point it out. And I can guarantee I would do the same thing in real life, it's not about 'hiding behind a computer'. I don't know about other people but I prefer people to be honest with me, even if it's going to be mean or hurt my feelings, than to sugar coat shit just so they won't have to be mean. It's also not about people being new. Hell, some of the 'newbies' are some of my very good friends. It all comes down to how incredibly stupid you post. Besides, just look at missnsync and me. We started off saying a lot of shit to each other, but even we get along now because she doesn't always post like she used to post (Ie: the kind of posts that make people want to slap her silly). If you don't act like a moron, people won't treat you like you're a moron. This forum has been getting along great, aside from the few stupid posts and people that have wandered around here and there. Nobody was making posts like this when WWIII was going on awhile back so I don't know why these type of posts are suddenly crawling out of the woodwork. yes, i know what you mean. honesty is real. but thats not what i meant. i meant real as in acting like how you REALLY act in REAL life and not just online. like don't do or say anything that you wouldnt in person. when i first came here, i admit, i did feel a bit unwelcome because some people arent too accepting of ''newbies''. in my case, i didnt fit in at first because i was posting topics that made me seem a bit immature, like whos your fave nsyncer and bsb vs nsync. i am only 14, but many people here are in their late teens or twenties...therefore, i need to think more mature than i would think when i'm talking to other 14 year olds and now that is what i do. i try not to make many posts about nsync in general since i have realized that this board is no longer about the group as a whole, but the members that were once in it and the solo careers they are taking on currently. i almost left after everyone made me feel like i wasnt welcome here, but i decided to stay and learn what the board was really about and now i have grown to like it
Divine81		#20	[-]
Posts: 1374 (03/30/2008 1:32 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	But doesn't 'being real' also come with honesty? I'm sorry but if someone says something stupid, I am going to point it out. And I can guarantee I would do the same thing in real life, it's not about 'hiding behind a computer'. I don't know about other people but I prefer people to be honest with me, even if it's going to be mean or hurt my feelings, than to sugar coat shit just so they won't have to be mean. It's all about being respectful. I agree that honesty is preferable, but it's possible to point things out without being nasty or abrasive.

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