I am just getting out of a similar situation. I think you have given him more than enough chance/warning. My ex was more of the "take anything you want," but like you, I didn't really want to be unfair because ours wasn't an angry break up either.

I ended up taking everything that I bought that I would potentially have to re buy. His family really looks out for him, so I figured they would fill the house up with stuff as soon as I left anyways. As for the joint stuff, I just tried to split it best I could. I took one small bookshelf and some wall art we got together, but left a bigger bookshelf, figuring it kind of evened out.