Is Your Relationship Healthy?

Is Your Relationship Good For You?

"FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY

A healthy relationship is one in which partners treat each other fairly and as equals. No one person controls the relationship. Both people need to feel that their needs are important. Both people need to give and take in the relationship. Both partners should share equally in decision making and be willing to make compromises.

Disagreements happen in all relationships. And it is normal for partners to have different opinions and needs. When partners treat each other fairly, they acknowledge one another's opinions and try to satisfy one another's needs. In healthy relationships, when disagreements happen, people "fight fair." This means listening to another person's point of view and respecting it.

Ask yourself whether you and your partner treat each other fairly and as equals.

Do you both get to say what you really want?
Can you both usually expect to have your needs satisfied?
Do you give and take equally?
Do you usually make important decisions together?
Do you both compromise?

If you answered yes to these questions, there is probably fairness and equality in your relationship, and that's a good sign for you and the health of your relationship.

Without fairness and equality, relationships can be hurt by anger. No one is always right — or always wrong. And one partner should not always be in control. In healthy relationships, neither partner is "in charge." In healthy relationships, partners admit their mistakes and can expect fairness, forgiveness, and the ability to make decisions for themselves.

Does your partner ...

always blame you when something goes wrong?
try to make you feel guilty about mistakes?
keep track of your time?
make you ask permission to do what you want?
ignore what you want or need?
force you to do something you don't want to do?
check up on you all the time at school, work, or home?
make most of the decisions in your relationship?
want to control the money?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, you may be wondering if the balance of power is fair and equal in your relationship."