jenhavins wrote:
Drama queen indeed. The only one that can decide whether your dad continues to help her out is your dad. You can’t speak for him. If he continues to go down there every time she sneezes, then shame on him. Maybe your mother can put her foot down with her sister in law?

Is she paying him to come to her home and help her out? Maybe there is a benefit for all the schlepping ‘cross country for your dad. You had said before that she has helped your family out in the past, I just wondered if money was still changing hands. Does he feel indebted to her?

When your dad is fed up, he should be the one to tell her, although seeing how your aunt reacts, it will most def. cause a strain in the relationship. It might be better coming from your mom.
My mom actually talked to her a few weeks ago when he came home with  his bp up in the 200's after doing something for her AGAIN. She actually told her nicely to let my Dad do less for now. She told my Mom that he's the one that insists but my Mom told her that my aunt should be the one to put her foot down even when he does insist. My aunt  won't do it because she does not get it.  I know her well enough. She whines all the time, plays the poor-me thing and my Dad, the good guy that he is, falls for it each time.

When my parents had to file for bankruptcy after 9-11(all 3 businesses fell apart one by one) and when my Dad couldn't find a job, since my father is good with his hands, my uncle would hire him instead. Things slowly got better. When my uncle got sick with cancer, my dad refused any money and just did everything out of the goodness of his heart and has continued to do so. One time, this is so unbelievable but it's true. My ill uncle could not get out of his recliner because he was too weak and had just taken his Ambien. Who does she call? Not 911, not her neighbors or friends. Not even her son. She calls for my Dad and my brother who, at 9pm drove almost 3 hours to get him up and into bed.  Before my uncle died, he told my Dad that he knew my aunt would be in good hands because he knew my father would be the one taking care of my aunt and not my cousin or her stepdaughter. No truer words were said and my dad took the words of a dying man to heart. I think it's such a co-dependent relationship. He wants to be needed and she's frickin' needy. A part of me thinks i should just not respond. I don't know. Swear to God, in every family, there's always one that shites the frickin' balance.