Thanks guys I don't have insurance - self employeed. I've tried talking to some of my friends, but my best friend moved to England last year (which has been VERY rough) and so we have a hard time catching each other. The other friends I have don't get it - they get mad that I am upset about stuff right now because I have it "so good." I totally know I am blessed in a lot of things, but like you guys mentioned I can't help feeling the way I feel. I know its not right, I know I'm being stupid - but I can't seem to get past it. bleh.