I'm done. I feel like such a loser that I married him. Ladies. Don't ever let a man verbally abuse you. Stop it before it destroys you like it has
destroyed me. That's my PSA for the day.
I'm going to leave my husband
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 hithisisnotyou |
I'm going to leave my husband |
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Posts: 190 (07/05/2009 5:29 AM) |
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grayspeckledgoose |
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Posts: 15081 (07/05/2009 5:36 AM) |
How long have you been married?
Do you have children? Where will you go? |
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hithisisnotyou |
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Posts: 191 (07/05/2009 5:40 AM) |
sadly to say, we have only been married 8 months. It's like when we got married a switched turned and it has been downhill since.
We thankfully don't have any kids. And I have no idea where I'll go yet. |
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grayspeckledgoose |
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Posts: 15082 (07/05/2009 5:45 AM) |
Do you have a job that will allow you to support yourself?
No children will make the divorce process a lot easier (I speak from experience). My ex and I got divorced after 2 years of marriage (IIRC). It was a painless process....I think mostly because my heart was not in it anymore. I was done. Emotionally drained. We didn't really have abuse issues, I guess...more just "wanting different things out of life" issues (which we should have addressed before getting married! But, we didn't.) |
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Ho |
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Posts: 1166 (07/05/2009 6:00 AM) |
How long were you guys together before you got married?
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hithisisnotyou |
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Posts: 192 (07/05/2009 6:03 AM) |
I have a job, but it's not great paying - He did most of the bill paying. I will have to find some alternative before I actually leave.
We were together a year and a half before we got married. I honestly should have seen the signs before we got married, but I thought it was because of the stress of a wedding, him being in school, etc. |
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grayspeckledgoose |
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Posts: 15083 (07/05/2009 6:15 AM) |
I can understand that, hithisisnotyou. I could see the signs before I got married too, but chose to ignore them....thinking things would get better after the
wedding. Things didn't get better (in fact, they got worse). I lived with it for a long time -- well, 2 years! -- and kept telling myself that "maybe
this is how marriage is supposed to be." But, I couldn't live with it anymore.
Nobody deserves to be in an abusive relationship. You are making the best deicsion, and I hope everything works out for you. |
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daisy bouquet |
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Posts: 1416 (07/05/2009 8:12 AM) |
hithisisnotyou, good luck to you.
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NancyOttawa |
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Posts: 6463 (07/05/2009 8:22 AM) |
hithisisnotyou wrote:Good for you!!!! I did the same thing after 8 months of marriage. As soon as he started the verbal abuse and staying out late with his buddies, I packed my bags and left immediately. I wasn't going to subject myself to a life with a man like that. |
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KDreamer |
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Posts: 12305 (07/05/2009 11:04 AM) |
Good Luck to you!
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hithisisnotyou |
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Posts: 193 (07/05/2009 11:12 AM) |
Thanks everyone. I'm struggling to process this all this morning after only a few hours of sleep.
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xomadi89 |
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Posts: 2083 (07/05/2009 11:14 AM) |
Good for you! You will be 110% happier without him.
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Oh reallly |
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Posts: 2313 (07/05/2009 11:22 AM) |
KDreamer wrote: |
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Linn |
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Posts: 351 (07/05/2009 11:40 AM) |
Good luck! I hope everything works out for you!
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MeParley |
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Posts: 15045 (07/05/2009 11:46 AM) |
It sounds like you're doing the best thing, hithisisnotyou. I wish you the best of luck!
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Spamster |
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Posts: 3349 (07/05/2009 11:48 AM) |
Have you tried counseling?
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hithisisnotyou |
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Posts: 194 (07/05/2009 11:50 AM) |
Spamster wrote: He is very against it. He says he doesn't want someone he doesn't know to know our business. I am very close to his mother and he absolutely gets infuriated when I go to her for advice. I always felt it was best to get it from someone who is objective about him and not a friend who would just think he was being a douche bag. |
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jus4lafs |
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Posts: 342 (07/05/2009 11:56 AM) |
NancyOttawa wrote: Good for both of you! Everything will work out I'm sure! You'll be much better off in the long run... In most cases verbal abuse just leads to physical abuse and the staying out late with buddies will just lead to him not coming home at all... better to get out earlier than later and probably a hell of a alot easier........ |
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hithisisnotyou |
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Posts: 196 (07/05/2009 11:59 AM) |
jus4lafs wrote: I almost wish he went out, but he doesn't. He has no friends - he's very picky about them. So I am the only thing he has, except now soon I won't be there anymore. It just hurts so bad and I cannot stop crying. I know I don't deserve this, I just wish he wasn't this way. He used to be a very caring person who truly loved me. Now he's someone I don't know. |
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jus4lafs |
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Posts: 343 (07/05/2009 12:09 PM) |
hithisisnotyou wrote: Have you tried going to counselling or anything? |
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bethanyboo |
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Posts: 200 (07/05/2009 12:17 PM) |
I hear about this sort of thing all the time. A couple gets married and then all of a sudden, one of the people in the marriage flips a switch and completely
changes. It's so bizarre.
 I don't blame you for wanting to leave.
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