Heather125 wrote:Wow. Sounds like maybe you're just tired of being you.
Courtney Love1 wrote:Like? A book club? I don't like reading! I'm obviously not a leader, never have been, never will be. I'd rather go take a class than initiate one and like I said...I'm looking into it. It's just something that hasn't crossed my mind, taking a class. If I can actually FIND one, you can bet I'll be jumping on it!
How is 'start a social activity yourself and put up flyers around your town to advertise it' not available in your town?
Do they not have storefronts, grocery store ad boards and telephone poles there?
Stop coming up with 20 different excuses as to why you CAN'T make a change and start coming up with just 1 way you CAN make a change.
I'm a very negative person as you can tell. It's not a very "attractive" trait but it's who I am and how I've always been. I thank my mother for this.
I've been feeling really down lately...(vent)
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 AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 27110 (06/28/2009 8:38 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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Heather125 |
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Posts: 16155 (06/28/2009 8:40 PM) |
Maybe so?
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AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 27111 (06/28/2009 8:40 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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Maybe your negativity is part of the reason why you don't have friends?
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susanlynn7 |
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Posts: 19015 (06/28/2009 8:41 PM) |
Batoutofheck wrote: I've met some wonderful friends in my Sunday school class. |
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Heather125 |
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Posts: 16156 (06/28/2009 8:43 PM) |
I don't normally throw my negativity at everyone I see, really. I'm pretty quiet actually.
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forever121young |
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Posts: 11305 (06/28/2009 8:55 PM) |
Speaking from experience, if you don't remove yourself from your "comfort zone" (mom, sister, bf, town) you will never grow as a person and hence
will always be the negative, energy sucker that people don't want to be around.
It's time to grow up and experience life on your own for a bit and discover who YOU are and what YOU want. |
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 9914 (06/28/2009 8:59 PM) |
Good LORD you have a depressing sounding life. Dating/revolving your entire life around the same guy literally since you were a child, extreme small town, job
you hate, no friends...do you want that for the REST of your life? Because this will be the next 60 years or so unless you do something NOW.
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 Savannah Leigh |
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Posts: 1390 (06/28/2009 8:59 PM) Most Likely to Reply '09
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I know we don't get along but...
 It'll get better for you.
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Heather125 |
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Posts: 16158 (06/28/2009 8:59 PM) |
I'm not like this around people at all. I had friends through middle school/high school. I was never a "negative energy sucker" around them
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I'm just quiet. I don't say much at work. I'm there to get my work done. If someone talks to me I'll talk with them and I'm happy and nice!
I'm not a miserable person to be around, I don't think. I mean...I'm obviously not the life of the party by any means but I'm certainly not a
miserable person
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Courtney Love1 |
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Posts: 6688 (06/28/2009 8:59 PM) |
Dude. WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO SAY HERE?
You keep coming up with 20,000 excuses as to why you won't change your situation. |
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mynamebesarah |
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Posts: 237 (06/28/2009 9:02 PM) |
I moved from Boston to North Carolina at random 3 years ago for a change and the first year, I found it impossible to meet friends. I didn't know where to
start. I went to meetup.org and attended a get together at a restaurant and met one girl there that I really clicked with. And from there, we were able to meet
others. Two years later and we've got a group of 7 girls that I can truly call friends, and have met a ton of people through them. It's just about
branching out and putting yourself out there. It'll happen!
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Heather125 |
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Posts: 16159 (06/28/2009 9:02 PM) |
Savannah Leigh wrote:Thanks. I don't want you to say anything! You don't have to reply you know. I'm just venting and getting my feelings out. I never said I hated my job but I know it's not what I want to do the rest of my life. I'm a secretary...who wants to do that for their entire life?! I still don't know what I want to do! |
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kelli wk |
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Posts: 17812 (06/28/2009 10:46 PM) |
I'm the same way. most of my friends were through my old best friend, but they were kinda shitty and when I stopped hanging out with him, I stopped hanging
out with them too. then I met knew people through my boyfriend.. a lot of them ended up being shitty too
he doesn't hang out with anyone but me really
and obviously vice-versa. I don't have very good social skills because I left public school halfway through 8th grade and never.. developed. plus I
don't find interest in many people.
it's just hard for me to connect. and I don't really make much of an effort. I looove hanging out with my bf but if he's off with someone else.. I don't have anyone, and that's when I get really lonely and realize how much it sucks. but yeah. I don't know. you're not alone! I hope things work out for you. |
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caryse |
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Posts: 765 (06/29/2009 1:01 AM) |
I don't think she wants advice. I think she wants empathy and a place to vent. The "negative energy" is coming from the rest of you, as usual.
Walk your dog? Start a book club? Terrible advice when you're from a small town. lol. Not exactly conducive to meeting gals your own age. Heather- I'm the same way, same boat, similar situation for most of my life. I definitely am the "don't speak until spoken to" type as well. But you need to be proactive about bettering your situation. Take mynamebesarah's advice and don't even bother reading the rest of the comments. Like Kelly wk said, its just simply hard for some people to connect. |
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Caterina2 |
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Posts: 1533 (06/29/2009 1:46 AM) |
Heather125 wrote: Are you in college or have you been to college? |
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AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 27134 (06/29/2009 1:49 AM) Biggest Know It All '09
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caryse wrote:Nobody wants to listen to someone vent about their problems when they're not willing to do anything to fix them. |
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rachaelthinksbeesareokay |
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Posts: 2473 (06/29/2009 1:52 AM) Grammar Cop '09
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Hey Heather, you're in the same place I was when I had just turned 22. Stuck in a small town, immense pressure from my parents to be perfect. I moved to
Phoenix for nearly five years and it was the best thing I could have done. I've just moved back and I see my hometown through totally different eyes...
maybe you will too.
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Jeannine8 |
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Posts: 6973 (06/29/2009 3:54 AM) |
Girl, i get it, i'm from the same boat. Small town, a little mall with nothing to do, movies on the weekend with the siblings.
I too, am the quiet person that doesn't reach out but waits to be spoken too, and let me tell you, at 25 now, i'm barely starting to actively be the one that speaks first. I wish I would've started sooner. And let me tell you something else (which you know, but i'll say it lol), nothing, and i mean NOTHING will change, if you don't make a change. A small town, with the same boyfriend from childhood, you're just asking to keep your life repetitive. Now since i know a lot of these suggestions wont work in a smaller town setting, i'll suggest a couple. Get in touch with old friends from school. If you're on a social networking site, start being active. If you see them at the store, don't try to act like you didn't see them, talk to them! Smile, be a nicer looking person all around (not to say you're not, but quiet people tend to look serious). Once you get in touch with a friend or two, take numbers and suggest lunch. It's all about getting into the hang of things, friends connect you with other friends, and events, and parties, and so on. Also, join a gym or something, or find a place where the young volunteer, and go do that. You'll connect with people you probably would've never considered otherwise. |
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