Mom's upset that I don't want kids.

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rokhas1yummybumbum		#41	[-]
Posts: 14330 (06/16/2009 11:37 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Irishlvr04 wrote: I have a sort of a different problem. I already had my two daughters when I met my boyfriend. He was 25 and I was 21. Now hes almost 28 and his mom keeps mentioning how she wants grand children. My bf and I already agreed that we didnt want any kids together and that we would just have my two daughters. You had 2 kids by the time you were 21?!?!
Purplelilac82		#42	[-]
Posts: 14815 (06/16/2009 11:38 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Courtney Love1 wrote: muah wrote: Mistress Darcy wrote: muah wrote: I think it's strange (I'm not calling you weird, I just can't grasp it), when people don't want kids. Like that's it? You just want your legacy to end when you die? You don't want anything to go on after you? I just think it would be lonely to have no kids, no grandkids... I think this opinion is even stranger than not wanting kids. So you guys want to pop out kids just for your "legacy" and never being lonely That's not exactly it. There's so much more to having children. But she already stated she didn't WANT them, so I didn't feel the need to bring up caregiving, creating a life with the man you love, molding somebody into being a loving and caring person themselves, dedicating your life to a precious child and watching them grow, teaching them, helping them... I really just brought up the most basic part of having children, which is creating your own lineage. Bah humbug! Just kidding. don't be a debbie downer court. But seriously, I like what muah is saying..I feel this is what having kids should be about. Unfortunately it's not and that's what probably turns a LOT of people off. I know it did for me...I didn't want to have kids for a looooong time. I'm not softened to the idea
thegoat121886		#43	[-]
Posts: 1112 (06/16/2009 11:42 PM) Generous JJBer '09 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	dont feel weird. From a young age as well, i never wanted kids. I kinda just figured it would grow out of me, but i still feel the same way at 22.
xxGirlxxFixerxx		#44	[-]
Posts: 2254 (06/16/2009 11:50 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Courtney Love1 wrote: muah wrote: I think it's strange (I'm not calling you weird, I just can't grasp it), when people don't want kids. Like that's it? You just want your legacy to end when you die? You don't want anything to go on after you? I just think it would be lonely to have no kids, no grandkids... Well, not everyone needs or wants their 'legacy' to pass on. Some people have mental and physical issues that run in their family that might be best left to die off. Quite frankly, I'm not sure that every person should be replicated. Not to mention, children is far from the only way to leave a legacy. What about childress architects, scientists, artists, etc.? Their research and works can possibly benefit MILLIONS of people and last for hundreds of years. Can you truthfully say someone like Oprah Winfrey (if she remains childfree) won't be leaving a legacy, simply because she doesn't have kids? And honestly, your 'legacy' will essentially die out after 2-3 generations if you're depending upon having children as a way to preserve it. Really, who among us go around thinking about (or even knowing much about) our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents? Your grandchildren might think about you after you're dead and gone, but after they stop remembering you... well, that's kinda it. And lastly, while having children will definitely increase the odds of having company in your later years, there is no way to guarantee that your kids and grandkids will either want or be able to spend time with you in your elderly years, so to depend upon them to ward off being 'lonely' is somewhat of a fool's bet. First, it's just not fair to ask someone else to be responsible for our happiness and entertainment. Second, with people being more and more transient and moving away from family members, it's not always feasible that family members will be around to play bingo with you every night, LOL. That's why nursing home and retirement communities were invented! You are my new favourite JJBer. Well said! I've also been saying for years now I don't want children. I'm 23 now and my mom is convinced I will change my mind when I get older. It's not going to happen
AeroSync9		#45	[-]
Posts: 12648 (06/16/2009 11:59 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	maifanluva00 wrote: No one else in this dilemma? lol Well I want kids.. but I'm unmarried and single. My mom is pressuring me but not her MARRIED daughter.
maifanluva00		#46	[-]
Posts: 5583 (06/17/2009 12:03 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	You are my new favourite JJBer. Well said! I've also been saying for years now I don't want children. I'm 23 now and my mom is convinced I will change my mind when I get older. It's not going to happen I love how they say this like 23 isn't old enough to have your mind made up. We're adults. Get over it.
Purplelilac82		#47	[-]
Posts: 14825 (06/17/2009 12:06 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	maifanluva00 wrote: You are my new favourite JJBer. Well said! I've also been saying for years now I don't want children. I'm 23 now and my mom is convinced I will change my mind when I get older. It's not going to happen I love how they say this like 23 isn't old enough to have your mind made up. We're adults. Get over it. I know what you're saying and I do agree with you. I would like to pay devil's advocate for a minute. At 23 I hate kids...hated everything about them. I knew I didn't want to be bothered and they really didn't have a chance with my lifestyle. I'm 27 now and a LOT has chance. It may not seem like it but a lot of shit can happen in 4 years. I'm sure you've heard this very same condescening argument from everyone...I used to hear it too. I'm just saying people can change their minds on issues.
Smallville78		#48	[-]
Posts: 7261 (06/17/2009 12:11 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	im 30 and dont want kids either never have, my parents are ok with that. and so is my family.
maifanluva00		#49	[-]
Posts: 5585 (06/17/2009 12:17 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Purplelilac82 wrote: maifanluva00 wrote: You are my new favourite JJBer. Well said! I've also been saying for years now I don't want children. I'm 23 now and my mom is convinced I will change my mind when I get older. It's not going to happen I love how they say this like 23 isn't old enough to have your mind made up. We're adults. Get over it. I know what you're saying and I do agree with you. I would like to pay devil's advocate for a minute. At 23 I hate kids...hated everything about them. I knew I didn't want to be bothered and they really didn't have a chance with my lifestyle. I'm 27 now and a LOT has chance. It may not seem like it but a lot of shit can happen in 4 years. I'm sure you've heard this very same condescening argument from everyone...I used to hear it too. I'm just saying people can change their minds on issues. I've got more reasons than just "hating kids". I've got health/mental problems too and those keep me from having children more than anything. Even if I were to change my mind, my gut tells me I shouldn't be having children. So I won't. I have thought about adopting though.
IwuvSexyBassez		#50	[-]
Posts: 5796 (06/17/2009 12:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I do want kids, but I'm not in a hurry.
Lancelina		#51	[-]
Posts: 3928 (06/17/2009 12:42 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	maifanluva00 wrote: I think most women are talked into thinking they have to have kids. Otherwise, I think more of them would be like me.
dollewail		#52	[-]
Posts: 9171 (06/17/2009 6:43 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Just be glad its just your mom doing the pressuring! A friend of mine got married a few months ago and all her inlaws are bugging her about having children. They have been together for years and got married for the fun of it, but the inlaws think otherwise. Theyve told his family numerous times they wont be having children anytime soon (and probably never because of health reasons) but they wont listen. They buy a new car, and get comments about how this car is great for the baby. They think about changing jobs and get comments about how they shouldnt get a particular job because that will be too difficult with the baby (not A baby, but THE baby!). Annoying!
moussemaker		#53	[-]
Posts: 17902 (06/17/2009 6:46 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Well, let her be upset. That's her problem not yours.
joey4pacey637		#54	[-]
Posts: 26051 (06/17/2009 7:00 AM) Biggest Sports Fan '08 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I'm still undecided. When I was younger, I always thought I wanted kids. Now, I go back and forth. One day, I'm like, I want a baby. The next day I'm like, where the fuck are my pills?! Which of course is an obvious sign that I'm not ready. I don't really care about the whole "continuing the family name" BS because I come from LARGE families (extended and immediate) so, really, there will be no shortage of us. I just think about my nephews and nieces. I like the small doses, but being able to send them off to their mother is the BEST part of our relationship. My main concern is that I'll never be able to provide a child with what my parents gave me. Both of my parents grew up extremely poor, to the point where they didn't even have shoes. So, my parents worked their asses off to give us what they didn't have as children and of course, we're all spoiled brats. Which of course, at this point I would be unable to provide for my kid. I'd want to give them what I had and with where I am in life, I'm not stable nor selfless enough to do it. So, today no kids for me. Ask me again in a few years to see where life has taken me.
chas2		#55	[-]
Posts: 18465 (06/17/2009 7:18 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I don't want kids, my mother used to give crap for it. But that was because she didn't have granddaughter, now she has 2 and a total of 7 grandchildren. So now she doesn't bother me anymore about not wanting kids.
l0pez		#56	[-]
Posts: 1368 (06/17/2009 7:19 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	maifanluva00 wrote: muah wrote: I think it's strange (I'm not calling you weird, I just can't grasp it), when people don't want kids. Like that's it? You just want your legacy to end when you die? You don't want anything to go on after you? I just think it would be lonely to have no kids, no grandkids... lol. Actually I do. I have so many health problems and depression and such things that I don't want to pass any of that on. I don't care about having a "little me" or any of that shit. The world is going to end anyway. I don't see the point. It won't matter. And I hate kids in general, so lonely, I wouldn't be. I feel the same way as you I know depression runs in my family so.. Anyway I saw a documentary on bbc a few days ago, there were couples that couldn't get pregnant naturally so they tried In Vitro like 10 times...I'm sorry but that's just stupid. Why do ppl feel like that HAVE to have pass their own genes on..?!! Think about all the homeless and starving kids in the world right now. It's not a time to be so damn selfish. It actually made me sick, and convinced me that if I should have a child I would adopt.
Worn Souls		#57	[-]
Posts: 4665 (06/17/2009 7:21 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I don't want kids, I don't mind adopting or fostering, but I think there's enough kids out there who need love and don't get it, without me going through 9 months of crap and then labour just to bring another child into this over-populated Earth. I don't feel a need to leave my mark on this Earth, it's deeply scarred as it is, without me adding to it.
JinkyJibes		#58	[-]
Posts: 37862 (06/17/2009 7:22 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I likekids...if they're related lol. I generally think they're ok, but after working in a shoe shop for the last year that fits kids shoes...the bloody buggars are the disdain of mylife
doylefan2002		#59	[-]
Posts: 9799 (06/17/2009 8:25 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Anticipation19 wrote: I dont know.. having children is natural. Its what we're SUPPOSED to do as animals. Not having it is "strange" to me, too. (I agree with Muah. Not calling you weird. Just can't grasp it.) Not even the consideration of having kids? We're supposed to have kids? WTF? Something being natural doesn't mean jackshit. People aren't animals, btw. We are a higher form of life and can think for ourselves/use reasoning rather than just simply give in to our baser instincts. There are tons of people who have kids who really have no business having them because they're not financially or emotionally stable enough for them so why shouldn't people decide not to have kids when they know they won't be able to provide for them? I think that the main reason why anyone has kids is because of BS ideas like what you're espousing. The world is over-populated already, so it's not going to hurt if several million people decide not to procreate. Some people just don't like kids or else they want more out of life than just being a baby factory--end of story. Having kids is my idea of hell.
Charrm		#60	[-]
Posts: 10460 (06/17/2009 8:26 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	muah wrote: I think it's strange (I'm not calling you weird, I just can't grasp it), when people don't want kids. Like that's it? You just want your legacy to end when you die? You don't want anything to go on after you? I just think it would be lonely to have no kids, no grandkids... some people put more thought into it, i guess. personally, i don't feel this is the time for me to start a family. the economy is bad, i'm not financially stable enough... there are things going on that make me feel that i can't give a child what it needs at this point in my life. maybe someday, but you shouldn't have kids just because that's what everyone else feels you're "supposed" to do.

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