JJB, for the last hour I have been literally pissing out of my ass. I'm not sure what the fuck I ate, but it was NOT meant for consumption. To make
matters worse, in the middle of me pissing out of my ass I realize that I need to vomit. I couldn't get off the toilet though, so I go to throw up in the
garbage, my hair gets in the way, so I end up throwing up on my hair and all over the floor. Then, I stand up to clean the throw up and while I'm
standing, I somehow idiotically manage to shart. 
My life sucks and I just had to clean puke and watery shit off the floor. 
My life sucks and I just had to clean puke and watery shit off the floor.
