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here's her latest blog about how hard it is, to have kids from another marriage in your current relationship.



Work, Life And Mixed Family ChallengesI'm sitting in a café on Montana Ave - enjoying a café latte and savoring every moment that I have alone. I just finished my Pilates class, my only other time by myself… I actually had to leave the house with my laptop and escape to a café to try to get some work done. I cannot escape at home to take care of business, and I have too much guilt if I am not tending to the kids. Aaahhh the work/life challenge! I feel like there is so little of me to go around at home, I cannot possibly allow my children to compete with my computer.

Rain has been sick all week and is VERY needy. She is also going through a stage where she only wants me. It was quite the opposite when she was a baby, and she favored her Papa. I breast fed her for 8 months, we were inseparable, yet she stilled preferred him. After 2 yrs, something shifted and now she is like my little chimpanzee. It is difficult sometimes not to take that personally. Shaya is the same way with David, but being baby #4, I see that as a blessing!

I have learned that parenting is about giving and we often do not get back what we long for, or deserve. It is our nature to have needs for affection, but it's the expectations that we need to let go. The sooner the better. I know soon my son will come to me, for now I let him be his unaffectionate little self.

There doesn't seem to be much talk out there in the mommy space about our older children. I definitely find myself spending more energy working on the challenges of raising my 7 and 9 yr old. There is so much going on in my household, dealing with 2 babies and 2 wanabee teens. Because I have two families in my life, every week when my big girls return from their father's house, it's like starting over-every Wednesday. It 's a totally different energy when I go from two kids to four, especially because two of them are not David's. There are lots of feelings, little hearts, and emotions to consider. Most of the time I feel like a mediator, referee/counselor.

How is it possible that we raise our children the same way and they all turn out completely opposite?!?!

Fortunately there is an adorable love affair going on between my older girls and my younger kids. In fact, they miss each other so much during custody rotation, that it's pretty difficult. Rain can not possibly understand why Neriah and Sierra have to leave every week to go see a guy named "Daddy." She thinks that's their father's first name because she calls her father "Papa." It's beautiful to see the excitement when my kids are all together, but it's equally difficult to control. I like to call it Hurricane Wednesday…

The bottom line is. Mixed families are tough. Anybody that thinks that separating is gonna be easier than working out your problems, THINK AGAIN… Although divorce is sometimes necessary, it's very complicated. I am so lucky that I have a great relationship with my ex. Thank God! But I'd be lying if I did not admit that I deal with him more now than I did when we were married.

This weekend, I will be practicing my other role, DRIVER. Starting today, I have 2 birthday parties, 2 more tomorrow and the big Pediatric Aids Carnival on Sunday.



ModernMom.com: Blogs: brookeburke