thanks jonesy i appreciate it! JJB's been an excellent place to go for this kind of thing. i don't know where i would be or what i would be feeling if
i didn't have y'all - i really do appreciate everything you guys.
so all the neighbors are pissed now...*update*
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 brokenangel |
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Posts: 1013 (04/15/2009 2:44 PM) |
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imnotsayingitright |
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Posts: 25941 (04/15/2009 2:44 PM) |
Jonesy wrote:So true! You're not just sitting back and being like, la-di-da, the neighbors have to deal. You're doing what you can to take care of your dad, and you deserve credit for that. |
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cls2 |
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Posts: 6002 (04/15/2009 2:46 PM) |
I've worked in the neuro unit of a hospital as a CNA for several years, and I know how tough it can be to deal with a person with Alzheimer's. I'd
imagine its a lot worse having to watch your own father going through it.
 Are there any agencies in your area that would help provide you with someone to
look after your Dad for a few hours a week? Its important you and your Mom get a break every now and then. Maybe the Alzheimer's association could help you
with that? I know its a cost issue, but there may be help out there.
As for your neighbors, how awful of them. I wouldn't bother meeting with them unless the police were present. I think a mediator would be a great idea if they insist on a meeting. |
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yvettemarie21 |
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Posts: 23600 (04/15/2009 2:49 PM) |
I grew up across the street from a retirement home. We had a few people stop by because they were "lost" and didnt know how to get home. One insisted
that she didnt live at the home, she was just lost. My mom spent 3 hours driving her around and in the end, stopped by the home just to check. She was in the
beginning stages of Alzheimers and forgot she lived there.
We also had people fall in the street in front of our house. Sometimes you could tell they were having a hard time gettng around. Never once did we complain that the retirement home should keep them inside or watch out for them a little better. It was really sad at times. I understood at 8 years old that their minds were deteriorating and nothing could be done. Some were mean, but most were really nice. There is no reason a 12 year old should be afraid if the parents properly explain what is going on. |
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Jonesy |
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Posts: 4910 (04/15/2009 2:52 PM) |
That is another point. When I worked at a nursing home, we would have some of our Alzheimer residents sneak out (they were sneaky little devils). Even the
"professionals" with all types of safe guards in place have this happen.
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Ninido |
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Posts: 6394 (04/15/2009 3:02 PM) |
Its sad that yours neighbors arent being more understanding.
Have you tried adding a more secure lock .. even something as simple as a 'child lock' or something more complicated ... ? So he couldn't just walk out? |
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foto87 |
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Posts: 7280 (04/15/2009 3:09 PM) |
You know what, I take back EVERYTHING I said, I'm so sorry. I was just thinking about it and you know what, you're neighbors are pricks. I'm sorry
for even hinting something negative toward you. It's good your doing something about it and trying to make it right. Also, like the others have said,
don't meet with them unless there is a police there with you. I hope everything works out
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BrightGreenEyes47 |
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Posts: 3516 (04/15/2009 3:14 PM) |
Certainly Not Dcutie wrote:How helpful. |
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 AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 24149 (04/15/2009 3:17 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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Jonesy wrote:This lady came into the restaurant where I work yesterday and told her server that she lived at the nursing home and she wasn't supposed to be out but that she got out. Then she went outside and waited for a bus in the rain for 20 minutes and it never came. Finally someone went out there and asked her some questions and got her to come back inside. She wouldn't give them the number to the nursing home but they ended up looking it up and calling. The nursing home was basically like "there is nothing we can do" but gave her the phone numbers of the lady's children. She called all of them and they were all at work and couldn't get off. The one daughter ended up sending her daughter to come get the lady and take her back to the nursing home. I thought it was really weird that the nursing home was just like OH WELL. |
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Jonesy |
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Posts: 4919 (04/15/2009 3:20 PM) |
It's sad but true that once they are off the property only the family members (or if there are written orders of someone else) can get the person to come
back to the nursing home. Still seems kind of heartless the way the nursing home handled that though.
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brokenangel |
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Posts: 1015 (04/15/2009 3:21 PM) |
Ninido wrote:when he started having these hallucinations - seeing people across the street and wanting to go be with them we got a child lock. that's what he broke through yesterday. i mean the man was a civil engineer! hopefully this alarm will be the magic trick. |
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Jonesy |
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Posts: 4920 (04/15/2009 3:23 PM) |
I don't know if this is an issue or not, but they do make bed alarms also. It is just a little clip that you clip onto their clothes. If they get up, it
sounds an alarm so you know if they are getting out of bed. That may be helpful for the middle of the night or when he is sitting in a different room than you.
Your welcome for the help. I just hope that you feel better. |
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JulieAnne20 |
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Posts: 33056 (04/15/2009 3:33 PM) Best Debater '09
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I definitely think alarms are the way to go.
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magnoliam |
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Posts: 3668 (04/15/2009 3:43 PM) |
you'll have to let us know how the letter goes over, not meeting the loath some neighbors will probably irk them, but as many have said it's a private
family only matter thank you very much.
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Trutome |
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Posts: 1904 (04/15/2009 3:47 PM) |
Smallville78 wrote: You are the biggest asshole I have seen in a long time. Asshole. |
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BrightGreenEyes47 |
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Posts: 3517 (04/15/2009 3:56 PM) |
Trutome wrote:I love your reply 
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brokenangel |
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Posts: 1017 (04/15/2009 4:03 PM) |
magnoliam wrote: i will let you know what happens. i don't know what they will do - they seemed very confrontational when they came to my door but when we called them back nobody answered the first time we called and like i said one of them hung up on us! i just don't have the energy to deal with them anymore. i'm still completely emotionally drained from last night and i'm not going to willingly put myself in that situation again, that's for sure! thanks again everybody. |
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BrightGreenEyes47 |
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Posts: 3518 (04/15/2009 4:06 PM) |
I'm also chalking it up to boredom. Some people just don't know what to do with their time so they create drama where there clearly should be none.
It's sad really.
I hope they understand the error of their ways soon and come back with an apology. |
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Ruler of the Misfit Toys |
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Posts: 13 (04/15/2009 4:15 PM) |
That is another point. When I worked at a nursing home, we would have some of our Alzheimer residents sneak out (they were sneaky little devils). Even the "professionals" with all types of safe guards in place have this happen.
This is so, so true. I had two ladies on my unit who watched out the window everyday and memorized the bus schedule. They always had purses with them, and
they would ask the staff or visitors for money. People would give them a quarter here or there,and thought nothing of it.
One day they dressed up very nicely, waited for a visitor to punch in the code to open the door, and walked out with them. They rode the elevator down, walked out the door, waited for the bus and got on. Let me just say how horrified we were when this happen. I worked in county run facility that housed about 500 residents. Staff is everywhere. They managed to bypass every single safety measure that was in place. They were found after one of the women asked the bus driver to take her to her mom's house. Of course her mom would have been about 105... Shit happens even when you have done everything right. After that, the buses on that route carried Polaroids in a binder with their names in case there was ever another incident. Dementia patients are clever. They still retain so much, even when they look at you and have no idea who you are anymore. 
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DarklyDreaming07 |
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Posts: 46288 (04/15/2009 4:16 PM) |
I agree with whoever posted about patients even getting out at homes. My Great Grandmother was able to get out once. It happens.
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