My ex & I were together for 8 years. We broke up 6 years ago but sometimes I feel like I'm STILL not over it....not over HIM! It's getting to the
point now where it's very aggravating! I feel like something is wrong with me! Why do I still love him & feel so connected to him? Am I crazy?! And
yes, I have dated a couple of guys since the big break up but they were losers! And I do get out & enjoy my life. I'm very blessed but this one area of
my life just seems to follow my every move! What the hell is wrong with me?!
How long should it take to get over an 8 year relationship?
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 jgsgal24 |
How long should it take to get over an 8 year relationship? |
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Posts: 523 (03/16/2009 8:56 PM) |
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Trutome |
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Posts: 44 (03/16/2009 8:57 PM) |
Damn SIX YEARS AGO?! I have no idea I have not been in a long term relationship.
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 524 (03/16/2009 8:58 PM) |
Trutome wrote: Yes! It's beginning to really piss me off! |
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jawnyquest.niketalk |
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Posts: 547 (03/16/2009 8:58 PM) Best Use of Emoticon award '09
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the hell yall break up for?
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Valerie Me |
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Posts: 29493 (03/16/2009 8:58 PM) |
I think everyone's different, but 6 years is a LONG ass time.
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 Kippage |
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Posts: 4494 (03/16/2009 8:59 PM) |
No one can tell you how long it should take to move on. Once you meet the right person, everything will fall into place and you won't be so stuck on him.
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x Mea Culpa x |
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Posts: 1101 (03/16/2009 9:00 PM) |
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FireBirdGoddess |
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Posts: 19360 (03/16/2009 9:03 PM) |
Six years is along time, but so is eight. Having someone get under your skin like that for EIGHT YEARS. I'm not even two years into my relationship and I
feel like it's been so long. You get to know a person too much...I think you can take all the time you want.
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AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 23186 (03/16/2009 9:05 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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They say it takes half the time you dated to be totally 100% over it. So you should have been over it after 4 years. Have you dated other people since?
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Sleepn |
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Posts: 16560 (03/16/2009 9:07 PM) Most Mysterious '08 |
that's too long. you're holding on to something -a way you felt or something the person brought you. it seems like you're over the person or you
would have worked to make it different/better.
i wouldn't put my life on hold for someone for 8 years. especially someone who isn't even aware that i'm hung up on them. |
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MandsLB8 |
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Posts: 3819 (03/16/2009 9:08 PM) |
I can't even believe I'm admitting this-
But, my e boyfriend and I dated for three years and it's been 5 since we broke up and sometimes.... I can't even say it. |
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yourluckycharm |
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Posts: 103 (03/16/2009 9:28 PM) |
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? There is such a thing as "lost love phenomena." You can check it out on lostlovers.com. I have
nothing to do with the site, but it might help you out. Good luck and just take it one day at a time.
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 525 (03/16/2009 9:30 PM) |
jawnyquest wrote: I knew someone was going to ask this....it's kind of a long story. He knew I really wanted to get married, have kids...the whole 9 yards. We didn't talk about it all that much throughout the years but he knew what I wanted. Well, one day he starts bawling crying & says "we need to talk." He said "I'm not sure if I can give you what you want. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for marriage & all." Of course I was shocked. He said he just didn't know what was wrong with him & he kept telling me how much he loved me & never meant to hurt me. It was soooo sad. I had never seen him so upset. He asked me to give him some time to think...so I did. A week or so had passed when he called & asked me what I wanted to do over the weekend. I thought oh boy! Things are okay now! We picked right up where we had left off. Everything was good.....until about a month later when, AGAIN he was like "I can't do this to you, it's not fair to keep you hanging on." I remember the night like it was just yesterday. It's soooo weird! Finally, after he had asked me a million times to look at him.....I did. I looked him right in the eyes & he says to me "you know I love you right?" I could just feel my eyes swelling up with tears because I KNEW what was coming. I looked away & just shook my head. The thing that was going through MY mind was "how can you love me when you're sitting here telling me you're LEAVING me?!" It didn't make sense to me! He went on to say how I'm such a HUGE part of his heart & soul but that he couldn't give me what I want & that I deserved better. Basically, it was goodbye. I begged him. I pleaded with him. I did & said everything I possibly could think of to get him to stay. After a while it was hopeless. Soooo, we ended up reminising on old times & looking back on our wonderful 8 years together. We laughed. We cried. It was sooooo sad but yet sooooo beautiful. I know it sounds cheesy but it was. I'm glad we didn't end on bad terms. I would have hated that. Actually, the last words he spoke to me were "I love you. I will ALWAYS love you & don't ever forget that." Then he kissed me & left me. And to this day those words & that kiss have haunted me. I know...I am SUCH a loser! To still remember every little detail. I'm sorry for going on & on. Looking back I can see why we broke up. When we were together I was all about HIM. I spent all my time with HIM. I've always been close to my family but not nearly as close as I am to them now. I've gotten some amazing bonds formed with a lot of my family members now that I simply didn't have before. And, most importantly, I was able to be there for, & care for my grandmother when she became ill. She passed away on 4-8-08 & the last few years I had with her mean EVERYTHING to me. I'm soooo thankful to have had that time with her. The fact of the matter is, if we hadn't broken up I probably wouldn't have had that time with her. Sooooo......that's my story. Am I officially crazy?!?!? |
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 526 (03/16/2009 9:31 PM) |
yourluckycharm wrote: I'm almost 31. 
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celebtrashwhore |
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Posts: 6464 (03/16/2009 9:46 PM) |
So you dated from 16 to 24?
Are you guys still in contact? |
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 527 (03/16/2009 9:48 PM) |
celebtrashwhore wrote: Yes, 16-24. No. I still talk to & see his parents a lot though. We tried the friends thing for a while but it was just too hard. |
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AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 23194 (03/16/2009 9:49 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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What was his deal exactly? He just doesn't ever want to get married and have kids? Do you still speak ever?
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Butterflygal20 |
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Posts: 2289 (03/16/2009 9:51 PM) |
jgsgal24 wrote:Has he moved on? |
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 528 (03/16/2009 9:51 PM) |
AudaciousAudrey wrote: I don't guess so! I really don't know! And, no we don't talk. I see him out every once in a while but he doesn't speak. He just LOOKS. |
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jgsgal24 |
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Posts: 529 (03/16/2009 9:54 PM) |
Butterflygal20 wrote: He has a girlfriend, yes. |
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celebtrashwhore |
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Posts: 6466 (03/16/2009 9:59 PM) |
Why do I still love him & feel so connected to him?Well if you dont talk to him then youre just in love with a memory-- which im sure you realize. Have you thought about therapy? Dont waste your youth on a memory--no point in that. |
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