Morning Piss: Jen Peddles Desperation-Again!
Today 5:12 AM PST by Ted Casablanca
-
GQ, of course, just released the latest nu*die (or quasi-nu*de) pictorial from Jennifer Aniston, who's truly cementing herself into a permanent,
professional dumped woman. All of this look-at-me press-from her first Playboy-esque pics that appeared in the glossy pages of Vanity Fair in 2005-to being
myriad H-town boys' playthings (Gerard Butler, John Mayer, Vince Vaughn, each for all the wrong reasons), just smacks of trying to outstrut the woman who
took her husband, Angelina Jolie.
-
Guess what? Ain't gonna work.
-
'Cause as Jen's famously indiscreet ex has made plain, all Angie has to do is "wake up" and she's as doable as ever. Jennifer requires
virtual teams of stylists, hairdo men, makeup magicians, lighting experts, cellulite hiders, boob wranglers, eyebrow doctors, the works.
-
Whatever happened to getting a damn good role like The Good Girl, Derailed, even, selling the crap out of it without taking your bra off-and showing up
Angelina with a buzzworthy flick? But…since you did stoop to this obvious PR-stunt stuff, you totally blew it: Instead of all those GQ boy-toys you were shot
with, why didn't you opt for some hot chicks, instead? That would have screwed Angie good, promise.
-----------------
From Hecklerspray.com
Jennifer Aniston Naked, Also For The Animals (A Bit)
December 12th, 2008 at 11:00 by Stuart Heritage
Here's some celebrity maths: Jennifer Aniston + family movie about an adorable dog = naked Jennifer Aniston.
It's obvious! Jennifer Aniston is promoting a film that's primarily aimed at children, so it's obvious she'd end up naked on the front of GQ magazine. Really, this is just like when Jodie Foster got her bum out to promote Nim's Island or when the entire cast of that Narnia film guest-edited that issue of Fat Filthy Knockers magazine.
But, of course, Jennifer Aniston isn't just naked in GQ for her film - it's also to show everyone that she's happy. Happy! She's happy, OK? HAPPY!
You know what's old hat these days? Gratuitous celebrity nudity. These days, if a famous woman decides to get naked, it has to be for an important cause. That's why Khloe Kardashian got naked yesterday, in an effort to raise awareness of the barbaric fur trade. And it's also why Jennifer Aniston is naked on the cover of GQ magazine this month - because, um…
OK, look, we don't know exactly why Jennifer Aniston is naked on the cover of GQ magazine this month, but she is, and we think it's down to one of the following:
1 - To promote her new funny animal movie Marley And Me.
2 - To show the world that she's completely comfortable with herself, especially after hours of expensive post-shoot digital manipulation.
3 - To show that ***** Angelina Jolie who's the sexy one. Yeah, you see that, Angelina? You see these sexy naked tits? Yeah, this is why Brad Pitt married me and then, um, ran off with… oh. Nevermind.
4 - Because Jennifer Aniston clearly doesn't think that the 18 hours of each day that she monopolises by jumping around screaming "Woo! Look at me! I'm Jennifer Aniston! I have a complex love life I'm just dying to tell you about!" in every single publication on the planet is enough.
So, yes, the sight of Jennifer Aniston naked on the cover of GQ might reek of desperation, but at least it stops her prattling on about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie like some sort of demented bellend. Doesn't it?
"The funny thing is that people don't realize we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends." Really? "No. But can you imagine? That'd be hysterical. I've got Zahara on my hip, and Knox …"
Oh. It doesn't.
But, still, it's worked - the naked GQ cover has got Jennifer Aniston more publicity than she knows what to do with, and we're sure this will be reflected in Marley And Me's opening weekend box office, where it will no doubt break records in reaching the 'lonely single man who enjoy masturbating to pictures of naked-women-doing-weird-squirrelly-things-with-their-arms' demographic.
But don't forget that there's still a fortnight before Marley And Me is released, so this probably isn't the last we'll see of Jennifer Aniston. But what tricks could she possibly have left in her arsenal? After all, we've had the fake pregnancy trick, and the slagging off Angelina Jolie trick, and the desperate plea for babies trick, and now we're already at the naked in a magazine trick. What could possibly be next?
Well, logic dictates that that if the pattern holds there'll be a Jennifer Aniston sex tape out in the next few days. But just you cool your heels,
Aniston fans - a Jennifer Aniston sex tape wouldn't be nearly as good as you expect, because chances are it'd also star John Mayer and, you know,
people only have a finite amount of vomit they can puke up before they start retching blood.
---------
The gift just keeps on coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok , That's it I'm done for the day, until tomorrow ofcourse!!!!!!!!

Come on.

