I'm sure its fake as was a forward to my e-mail but its still funny as hell.
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on
me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together. Have a great life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's
true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good
man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it
doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the
first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my
mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything
nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.
Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on
me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together. Have a great life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's
true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good
man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it
doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the
first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my
mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything
nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.
Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you
