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 vessy vk |
People whose parent (or both parents) have died... |
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Posts: 1954 (11/19/2008 5:43 AM) |
How did you deal with it? How long did you need to be really ok?
My dad died 3 (its gonna be 4 soon) years ago.... and now a month ago my mom died, I'm 21. I thought that time would make things better, but it feels like its the other way around 
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TR2119 |
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Posts: 9354 (11/19/2008 5:53 AM) |
I'm sorry
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Bobbee88 |
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Posts: 5916 (11/19/2008 5:55 AM) |
I am so sorry
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SurvivorQT |
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Posts: 655 (11/19/2008 6:02 AM) |
it gets better
i lost my father when i was 7, so really wasnt a big deal then, but i got all sorts of depressed at around the 10th aniversary. But then I thought life goes on, although i still think about him sometimes |
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mEEEEchelle |
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Posts: 3646 (11/19/2008 6:05 AM) |
I lost my mother when I was seventeen and I'm just now getting to the point where the thought of her doesn't make me so depressed I have to force
myself to think of something else. The other day I actually smiled at a memory of her instead of the usual holding back of tears. Big deal for me, took four
years. I think recovery over something like that really depends on so much. The person, their relationship with their parents, their circumstances after the
death, etc...
And also 
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kelli wk |
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Posts: 14840 (11/19/2008 6:08 AM) |
my mom died a year ago on december 9th and I'm pretty much okay.. I almost feel too okayy but I think its because she was sick for so long (since 1996). I
know she's better off so I'm not sad about it all the time. of course I miss her terribly but she's in a better place
now if I lost my dad at this point I'd be a wreck. |
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vessy vk |
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Posts: 1955 (11/19/2008 7:00 AM) |
I think it was easier when my dad died, he was sick, we knew it was coming and I still had my mom. Now she was gone in 1 day and I feel like I have nobody,
like I lost all my family, even though I have an older sister and brother.
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VenusHalley |
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Posts: 2597 (11/19/2008 7:11 AM) |
my father died 14 years ago. I still cannot say that I've gotten over it.
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ThatsWright68 |
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Posts: 38 (11/19/2008 7:21 AM) |
Vessy I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I will share the fact that time does indeed heal all wounds. There are stages you will go through and times that
will be tough but know that in time you will look back and smile at the thought of your parents. It just takes time! until that time know that a part of them
is always alive and they will forever live in your heart and mind......
One of the things that helped me coped with the loss of my loved ones was just the fact of knowing that I would of rather had suffered a loss than to have never of known the love I shared with them. I hope that makes sense..... |
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tackyblueeyeshadow |
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Posts: 6267 (11/19/2008 7:53 AM) |
My mom died 5-1/2 years ago. It's not easy to go through, and I don't believe you ever get over it, you just learn to deal with it. Give yourself time.
It hasn't been that long.
This is actually the first holiday season I have felt okay about since she died. Previous years I haven't really cared about celebrating and/or I just felt sad about it. Be patient with yourself. 
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beautifulbelief |
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Posts: 2464 (11/19/2008 8:09 AM) |
I'm so sorry
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Dylishis |
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Posts: 35954 (11/19/2008 8:26 AM) Most Outspoken '08
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I'm so sorry.
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thread killer 00 |
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Posts: 3244 (11/19/2008 8:33 AM) |
Vessy, I am so sorry. You're so young, it's heartbreaking.
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vessy vk |
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Posts: 1956 (11/19/2008 10:08 AM) |
Thanks for all the answers! Today is one the hard days and it doesn't help that I'm waiting for my brother to come, but it looks like I'm gonna be
waiting even longer, I guess other things are more important than me.
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maia525 |
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Posts: 1371 (11/19/2008 10:38 AM) |
My dad died almost three years ago and I'm still not over it. I don't think I ever will be. But it does get a little easier with time. You find
yourself smiling more than tearing up over the memories. Hang in there. I'm so sorry for your losses.
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Ike4nsync |
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Posts: 12023 (11/19/2008 10:40 AM) |
Hospice had a really great program in the first year after the death of a loved one you can get free counseling. I would highly recommend taking advantage of
that. I lost my mom when I was 30 and my dad died about a year ago. I could have really used the counseling after mom died. With you being so young, there are
so many issues.
I am the youngest of 3 girls. We just recently settled my dad's estate because we finally sold his house. About two weeks later, my oldest sister got a letter from my middle sister addressed to her and I. She said she doesn't want anything to do with us anymore and as far as she's concerned her family is her husband and 3 sons and their family. She's even turned her kids against us. The only thing we can make out from the letter is that she's upset we didn't give her more money. In the will the estate was to be divided 3 equal ways between us. She mentions a $50.00 amount and a $78.00 amount. I guess our relationship was worth $128.00. We're just numb right now. I hear from others that this type of thing happens a lot. |
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Semirhage626 |
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Posts: 5532 (11/19/2008 10:42 AM) |
My dad died in 1991 when I was 12. I'm gonna be honest with you -- I hate it when people say time heals all wounds. I think that's bullshit. The pain
of losing my dad hasn't gotten any easier over the years -- in fact time has only created more situations he should have been there for -- meeting my
fiance, walking me down the aisle, etc.
I'll never be over it. When it hurts, it hurts just as badly as it did the day he died. I do think that with time, I think about the good stuff more than the bad, but even thinking about the good stuff carries with it its own kind of pain. The only thing I've found that really helps is just letting myself give into the grief from time to time. It's been 17 years, but sometimes I still just need to sit down with a pic of my dad and have a good hard cry. |
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Spaztastik |
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Posts: 81479 (11/19/2008 10:47 AM) |
This post is seriously making me WEEP
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JoeysMyPhatone |
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Posts: 7158 (11/19/2008 11:03 AM) Joey Fanatic '02 |
I'm sorry
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mshinda |
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Posts: 5468 (11/19/2008 11:13 AM) |
It took a long time to come to terms with my mom's death; that was just devastating. I'd say it was at least five or six years. My dad passed 3 years
ago, and while I didn't feel wiped out, I just feel disappointed, which I know is a weird way to put it. But I enjoyed him so and he was such a good man,
I'm just disappointed I don't get to spend time with him anymore. I still miss him and it just feels so strange that he's no longer here.
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