Yuku free message boards

LMFAO I love these threads! The one about the cum going out of the nose and the "christopher columbus" one and the speaker on the head one are so freakin hillarious!

So I have a few to contribute...

When my then-boyfriend [now husband] and I were dating, a few years back he decided to have a party at his parents house while they were away at a NYE party. So a shitload of people were there, we all got hammered, and I decided to drag Wes inside and have a little bit of fun in the only empty space available, his parents closet. We were in there awhile when all of a sudden we heard shouting that his parents were home -- his father is real conservative and had no idea we were having sex, and he def didn't want it in his house. So long story short, we couldn't get out in time before his mom went straight to their bedroom, so we got stuck in the closet for like 2 hours while they watched Matlock reruns and had to crawl out on our bellies after they fell asleep.

--

My husband and I were having a party w/our then roommates and we had drunk sex and it was GREAT, we were doing it all these fun new positions and crazy stuff, so I had him tie my hands up with his tshirt and his wifebeater he had on, and he was teasing me and we were having crazy missionary sex and then next thing I knew, he passed out cold on top of me! I mean, all heavy weight, still inside, on top of me and I was still tied up. I had to scream for help for about 5 minutes until the rest of Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold" wind down [longest fucking song I swear!] so I could yell for my roommate Tasha to come in our room and get him off and untie me. She was laughing her ass off!!

--

This one really isn't mine but I'm sure my friend Nick won't mind me sharing it, it's really disgustingly embarassing. So back in HS my best friend Nick kind of prided himself on being the cocky guy in school, and he liked sleeping w/new girls. Well it took him a few weeks to finally get this girl to go out w/him, Lindsey. So he took her out for a romantic dinner and a walk by the lake, and they ended up climbing in his car and got busy. Well he just got this car as an early graduation gift from his grandfather, it was a carerra with white leather interior. He was going down on her and started to feel really nauseated, like he suddenly had a nosebleed from hell. He stopped and turned on the light to find that she had started her period in the middle of it! It was all over his face, in his hair, all over the seat underneath her... He was so disgusted that he threw up repeatedly. He called me and made me get up at 3am in the morning to come over there and take her home bc he was so sick he couldn't even drive!

I had to take her home, come back to the lake, help him clean that nasty shit up, and then drive him over to my house so he could sleep it off after my mom and I threw him in the shower. It was disgusting and horrible and I felt so bad for him!! The girl didn't show up to school for a whole week over that. We're still real close and he tells me that he still gets nervous going down on women now, and it used to be his favorite thing to do. LOL!!

--
Okay I'll stop for now.

orangepeel19 wrote:

---

hvnlyinnocent hahahahaha
OMG at you having to be untied by someone else rofl and poor nick!

Yeah thank God that Tasha and I were close or I would have been even more embarassed having her untie me. I have one of her and her husband as well, but it's not really sex.
So we lived in a 4 bdr house and all the rooms were down the long hallway from the 2nd bathroom. Tash and her husband Matt had had sex and he had to go pee, and he was PISS ASS DRUNK so he got up. Tasha fell asleep. 20 minutes later we hear screaming coming from the other bedroom and we all run in there, bc that's where Jamie [a guest] was crashed out. Turns out, Tasha's husband Matt was ssooo drunk that he pissed in the hallway thinking it was the bathroom and then went to the opposite door from their bedroom, where Jamie was staying, and crawled on the airmatress she was sleeping on and tried to cuddle with her!! And he has this king size bed in his bedroom, very tall, so I dont know how he didnt realize he had to get on his knees in order to get into that bedroom... Regardless, it was hillarious!