Chapter One

That was almost four months ago.

Justin stood there in the livingroom for a few seconds, his hands still in the air and his eyes bugging out of his head. Then all of a sudden everyone went crazy, yelling directions to each other all at once. Justin's mom ran out the door to get the car, my Mom followed, calling the hospital on the way. Ray grabbed my suitcase for me and ran down the stairs after them. Justin just had this freaked out look on his face while he turned off all the appliances in the house. Then he rushed over to the door, stepped out, and locked it.

I was still standing in the living room.

A moment later the locks turned again and the door flung open.

"Lee, what the hell are you doing? We don't have time for these games."

I rolled my eyes. Games?

"I'm not the one playing games," I muttered, heading toward the door. "You're the one going to the hospital without me. I don't know what you're going to do there, I'm in the one with the baby."

But needless to say we made it there safe and sound. Well, sound, Justin wasn't exactly safe. I was pretty good with the pain in the car on the way there. He sat in the back with me and held my hand and tried to make me feel better. But after eleven hours, that whole labor thing was really starting to piss me off. Unfortunately Jay was the one I took it out on. He understood though and didn't take any of my threats, bad words, or bruising to heart.

I'm not going to lie, labor hurts like hell. That opening is not meant for something like a baby. I mean, yeah technically it is, but it's not. But it's true what they say, as soon as they lay that baby in your arms you forget all about it. Okay, I didn't forget all about it, but it didn't seem nearly as bad. I remember she came out and she was all pale, and gross, and looked like a miniature alien. They put a towel on my stomach and laid her on me and I just started crying. She was crying and I was crying and Jay was trying not to cry. Then they had Justin cut the cord and carry her to go get documented and cleaned up and stuff while they moved me to a clean bed.

Little Emerance Timberlake was born seven pounds and six ounces. Her skin was light like Justin's, but she had thick curly black hair like mine. Her eyes were light brown, but I swear there's blue mixed in there. Justin handed her to me for awhile, and I never knew that in one instant you could love someone else so much. It's this little itty-bitty person who looks like me, and looks like Justin, but it's not me or Justin. It's both of us, and neither of us at once. What do I say to her? What do I do? All I know is that I love her, I don't know anything else about her. But as much as I loved her, I was tired. The nurse helped me feed her, and then I handed her to her Daddy. He sat at the foot of my bed and looked down at her. He whispered the sweetest thing in her ear.

"Your Mama carried you for nine months, and I'm gonna carry you for the rest of your life."

I don't think he knows I heard him. And then everything was silent and he was still. He was still for so long that I opened my eyes to ask him what was wrong. But then I noticed she was looking right back at him. They just sat there staring at eachother, they stared for the longest time. I could tell right then that he was changing. He was turning to someone's Daddy, and that they were going to be really close in the future.

Speaking of close, I hope he's close to the apartment because I am in need of a serious nap.

As if on cue the front door opened and banged against the wall. I hate it when he does that. As if we need our security depot wasted on a dinted wall.

"Where my girls at?" He called.

"Back here," I answered, lifting Emerance's legs so I could wipe her bottom.

Changing diapers is not fun, I don't care what anyone says. A moment later he came around the corner, dropping his jacket by the door. It was close enough to the dirty clothes hamper I suppose. He headed to the bathroom to wash his hands and take off his shirt, he knew better than to reach for the baby covered in saw dust. Then he came into the room with a smile as I was fastening on her diaper.

"There's my girl," he said softly, leaning down to kiss me.

"And there's my babygirl," he took over doing the buttons on her onesie while I cleaned up. Then he lifted her to rest on his shoulder.

"Daddy missed you today. Yes, he did. Did you miss me?"

She made a cooing noise and grapped his finger.

"I knew you did! Did you have fun with Mommy?"

"Loads," I answered for her. "I especially loved the part where she spit up into my hair."

Justin made a face and stiffled a laugh.

"Well, I'm sure she didn't mean it as an insult."

Then he reached out to touch my cheek.

"You look beautiful, by the way."

No I didn't. I looked like the typical housewife who'd let herself go with my cut off jean shorts, over sized teeshirt, and bandana. I wasn't even sure I'd remembered to brush my teeth this morning, not that it mattered now, it was after four o'clock. But I smiled at him and then headed into the bathroom to wash my own hands.

"So what did you guys do today?" He asked, heading into the living room and taking a seat on the sofa.

"I tried to get ready for work tomorrow," I said.

It was going to be my first day back at my salon. That's right, my salon. It's still new, and business is slow, but it's mine.

"But then Emerance caught of a case of the snuggles and that was the end of that. I can already see how hard it's going to be with both of us working full time and having her." I was bent over in the kitchen, looking for a pre-made baby bottle. She was going to be hungry in a few moments.

"Em, remind Mommy that Daddy gave her the option to stay home and she didn't want it. No, she didn't, she didn't want it."

He was talking to her in baby talk again. I kept telling him not to do that. I read in a book that if you talk to them in baby talk that they'll talk like that too, but if you talk to them normally, then they will speak normally. But Justin never listened to me when it came to her. He was like a great big kid all over again. To prove it, he ended his sentence by blowing a raspberry on her freshly powered tummy. She giggled delightfully and waved her fists in the air.

"Don't use our daughter as a pawn in your sick game, Jay."

I pulled two frozen dinners from the fridge and read the directions. I was not in the mood to stand in the kitchen tonight.

"I'm not using her a pawn, I'm just seeing if she agrees with me. You don't have to rush back to work, the salon will be there in another month, or two, or year."

"I'm not leaving the shop on its own for a year Justin," I said, coming around the corner to hand him a soda. "I've already been gone for way too long. They need me."

Truth was Justin and I had had this conversation before. He really wanted me to be home with Emerance, and wasn't at all excited about a babysitter coming into watch her. Honestly he did make enough money to support us. Construction was at a higher demand in Virginia Beach at the moment, and he was good at it. I think he was even considering starting his own company one day. But we'd been living the last five months on his paycheck alone, and everything was perfectly fine.

"I'm not trying to change your mind," he said.

Yes he was.

"I'm just reminding you that you have options."

I gave him a look and then turned to my daughter.

"How about you ask Daddy to stay home with you while Mommy goes to work. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Justin smiled and bounced her up and down.

"That would be fun, wouldn't it? If only we could afford it, huh? But if we did than Daddy would have to turn off his satelite TV and we don't want that do we? Let's see who's playing tonight."

He laid her against him while he reached for the remote and turned on ESPN. I just shook my head at him. As soon as I turned to head back into the kitchen she started to fuss. Then her fussing transformed into crying. I handed Justin the bottle I'd found in the veggie bin and he laid her down in his left arm. He made faces and little noises at her while she ate, not at all distracted by the game on TV. That was the best thing about Justin, he was the most dedicated Dad I'd ever seen. And I was lucky enough to snag him for my kid.

First day back at the salon came as a relief to me. As much as I loved my daughter, and as much fun as I had with her, I still need a bit of time to myself. Working at the salon was my "me" time. I had hired three stylist to work in my shop after a long process. I didn't want to hire anyone off the street, I had to make money as much as the next person. Plus being a new salon owner I needed people that would represent what kind of business I was running. I needed people who had experience, that went to school for what they were doing just instead of hiring a person who did the neighborhood hair. I was all for people who did that, but most people now a days need someone who is licensed to do things for a since of security. I was also looking for chemistry between the people that I would choose.

Finally I pulled up into the parking lot of my salon, stepped out of the car, and grabbed my purse before taking one more look at myself through the reflection of the driver window. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and put on a little foundation. I was trying to clean up as best as I could with the energy that I had left. When I walked in, I smiled at my three stylist, Michelle, Dawn and Paige.

"Hey everyone." I walked over to my station.

Paige was walking over to her station after setting the temperature of the hair dryer for one of her clients.

"Hey Aleena, how you doing? How is the baby?"

Smiling, "really good. Justin's at home with her right now, getting bigger and bigger everyday. How is everything been going on here?"

I waved one of the clients that were patiently waiting to my chair. Paige was my head stylist because she had been in the business a bit longer than the other ones. She used to work in her Mom's hair salon and went to school as well. She had long reddish brown hair in loose curls pinned up around her head, gold hoop earrings, and a brown baby phat outfit. She was twenty-seven years old and had a daughter of her own that was ten years old and a husband in his late thirties. I was surprised she didn't have a shop of her own, but she said that she didn't want to deal with the issue of having your own business. She was more of a family oriented woman and that was how she wanted to be.

"Pretty good, clientel has been picking up a bit more. I handed out flyers at church and at the little youth basketball game they were having at the local rec center."

I nodded, placing a smock over my client Kelli.

"Well, everything seems to be going pretty good."

"You had your baby already, Aleena?" Kelli tilting her head to the side slightly as I was parting her hair for a relaxer that she needed badly.

"Yup, seven pounds and six ounces. Thick curly black hair and light brown eyes with a hint of blue, light skin like her daddy."

I couldn't help but beam proudly. Even though having a baby could be tiring at times, when someone ask about my little Em I didn't miss a beat. At times I had to force myself to stop bragging about her, but I guess that was normal for a new mother. I reached down into my purse, pulling out a picture of her the day she was born. I was planning on get family portraits taken of course.

Michelle and Dawn walked over and they all huddled over the picture, passing it back and forth amongst each other.

"Aw, she is just too adorable. Such a big girl."

Dawn handing it back to me and I propped it up on the mirror, taking a moment to look at my little girl. She truly was adorable and she was all mine. Well, Justin's too only because he helped make her.

Michelle was mixed woman black and Asian, I believe. She had very long brown hair that all silky and straight. She was twenty-five and married to a football star. She was a hair dresser because it was want to loved to do, she didn't necessarily need the money, but it was more of a fun hobby for her. She stayed in a large plantation house on the beach somewhere. I had been over there once, it was a truly beautiful house, but it was so big and quiet that I couldn't understand how she stayed there by herself while her husband was constantly in training for the football seasons.

Dawn was twenty-one, the youngest of us three, but she was truly gifted in the art of hair styling with all types of designs that she thought of off the top of her head. She wasn't married, but did have a steady boyfriend that came in frequently to see her and sat around waiting until she got off work. It remind me a lot of Justin and I when we first met. She always kept braids in her hair because she was back and forth between work and school and she didn't have time enough to keep her hair up.

After spending most the night putting in relaxers to people's hair, I finally headed out of the shop around ten o'clock and arrived at home thirty minutes later. Walking through the door, the television was on ESPN and Justin was stretched out on the couch with Emerance in the cradle of his arm. She was waving her hands around in the air and cooing quietly. I smiled, dropping by things by the door, and walked over, leaning down pulling her up from his arm. He jumped up and reached down for the floor as though he thought he dropped her. Once he regained his consciousness Jay looked at me and let out a sigh.

"Shit Lee, you scared me."

"I see, you thought you dropped her while you were drooling on yourself. He was, wasn't Daddy?" I kissed her little cheeks as I held her up on my shoulder heading down the hall into her nursery to change her diaper and give her a good clean wipe down before changing her into her little pajama's.

Afterwards, sitting down in the rocking chair and feeding her, Justin came in from the living room, sitting down on the stool in front of me and grabbing my feet so he could massage them.

"So, how's the salon holding up?" He asked, rubbing his thumbs up and down the heel of my foot.

I was looking down at Emerance, rubbing her soft cheeks as her eyes opened and closed.

"It was good. Things are slowly coming up to spend. We have more clients, which is a good thing. Paige has been doing a lot of passing out flyers and business cards, which is a lot of help to me."

This was our time, when I was feeding Emerance before she went to bed, to catch up on each other's life outside of home. What was going on at work and all that.

"Sounds good. I'm going to be having a lot of jobs lined up now that summer is approaching. A lot of them are going to be out of town, which means more money."

"Oh, that's great baby."

"Yeah, if you say so."

Frowning, I turned my full attention to him.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

He shook his head.

"Just the idea of leaving you and Emerance here and being more than an hour away, I don't know if I like that whole idea."

"It's not just going to be me and her. We will have a babysitter way before than I'm sure, and--."

"No, I'm not kneen on having someone raising our newborn, and I'm damn sure against day care where you got atleast two hundred kids running around and all their gem infected bodies are rolling around my baby girl. Hell no!"

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't want to get into this conversation right now.

"Well, when the time comes we will talk about it, but right now the schedule is working fine so we have nothing to worry about."

I knew where this conversation was going and I didn't want to go there tonight.

"The schedule is working fine. I'm just saying that I don't think we need to change the status quo."

I narrowed my eyes and gave him a look. He was pushing the issue.

"Justin."

"I'm not arguing," he raised his hands in defeat before leaning forward to play with Emerance's hair. "I'm just saying."

I wish he'd stop saying.

It's been a couple of days since mine and Justin's conversation about what we were going to do about the baby now that we were both going back to work. Justin still hinted at what he thought about day care and a baby sitter of course, but I also hinted that I didn't want to hear it right now and that we would talk about it later when the time came. Which really meant that I was going to have the final say so.

Today, I had the day off from work so it was Em, Paige, and I. Paige had invited us over for lunch. Her daughter was off at school and her husband was off at work. It felt good to have someone around my age that also had a kid that I could bounce ideas and complaints off of. I know I had my Mom and Justin's Mom, but it's better to get advice and stories from different age spectrums. I pulled up in front of Paige's cottage type house with toys in the front yard, the lawn was somewhat managed with assorted flowers. It looked like a true family home. I parked Justin's Escalade behind her mini-van and got out. Making my way to the drivers side rear doors, I opened it up grabbing Emerance's diaper bag pulling it onto my shoulder. Unhooking her removable car seat I pulled her out of the back seat carefully and then closed and locked the doors.

I walked up the stairs of her porch and reached out pressing the door bell, before looking down at my daughter as she cooed up at me. The door soon open as Paige smiled, standing off to the side, holding the door open.

"Hey Leena and Ms. Emerance, come on in."

"We're finally hereee."

I smiled holding the car seat out in front of me while walking in. I waited for her to close the door, then followed behind her into the living room. Looking around the room at the soft brown walls with burgundy velvet couches and creme colored decor, I sat Em down beside a chair before sitting down in it myself. I unbuckled her as Paige moved over beside me and bent down to pick her up.

"Heyyy Ms. Emerance. Hello sweetgirl," she whispered, picking her up then walking over to sit on the couch.

I sat back in the chair and relaxed, pulling out my cell phone and texting Justin to let him know that we had gotten here safely. Otherwise I would have to hear from him twenty minutes later blowing up my phone.

"So, Leena, how you been?"

I shrugged and slid my phone back in my pocket.

"I've been okay. Just taking care of Emerance and trying to keep up with the shop."

She nodded, bouncing Em gently into her lap as she supported her neck and back.

"Not getting anywhere with Justin on the baby sitter idea?"

I rolled my eyes, pushing my hair behind my shoulder.

"You know I understand where he is coming from, but I see that we have two options. It's either that or day care, or one of us is going to have to quit our job. "

"Well, I'm sure he's not quitting his job."

"No."

"And your not quitting yours."

"Absolutely not."

"So it's a babysitter or daycare."

I nodded.

"Well, someone is going have to make a sacrifice."

"I know," I sighed, "I feel like I made a lot of sacrifices, you know? Why should I have to this time?"

"It's not about whos turn it is, it's about the best interest of this precious baby here," she said, rubbing her nose lightly against my daughters. Em laughed in response and reached out for Paige's nose, which made my heart melt.

"I know."

She smiled over at me holding Emerance up to her chest and rubbing her back gently. Em curled her little hand into her hair and was trying to suck on the cloth of her shirt.

"You hungry? I made sandwiches and some salad."

She stood up and I followed behind her into her kitchen which was a soft green color with yellow accents. She had already sat out two plates.

"I have Camille's old swing. Still pretty new, never really used it. She wouldn't sit still long enough." She laughed sitting Em down into and buckling her in and then turning it on swinging back and forth.

I sat down at the round table.

"What would you like to drink? We have tea, soda, juice."

"Tea would be fine."

She nodded, heading over to the fridge where she gathered our drinks and headed back over to the table.

"So, tell me how's Justin doing?"

I smiled whispering thank you as she sat down my drink in front of me.

"He's doing really good. He has a lot of jobs lined up. A lot of them area out of town, meaning more money, and he's also thinking about starting his own construction business."

"That sounds great! It's good to see him doing something he likes."

I nodded, biting down into my sandwich and chewing it down slowly before speaking.

"I know. It makes me happy that he's come all this way in such a short amount of time. Our drama free life out here is so different from Chicago."

"Tell me about it, it's different from Inglewood," she giggled.

I coughed, almost choking on my spinach leaf.

"You're from Inglewood?"

She laughed heartily.

"Yes, girl! My husband's not, and I constantly ask myself how I made it out here. But this is the good life. I don't have to wake up to gun shots every night or get a call that someone I know has been shot down innocently walking the streets."

I shook my head.

"I know that all too well."

We both bit down into our sandwiches and looking over at Em as she sat quietly.

"I'm just so glad that I didn't have to raise Camille out there. She is somewhere that holds education as a big priority. And of course I think about her safety, I'm still cautious about leaving her somewhere people, but it's just not that big of a worry for me."

I nodded, wiping the corners of my mouth with a napkin and looking down at my babygirl as she reached out, playing with the toy balls on the little table across her lap.

"I couldn't have imagined bringing my daughter home from the hosptial in Chicago. Especially with the drama that we had going on, I would be scared to go asleep at night." I shook my head just thinking about.

"Have you ever thought maybe that is Justin's fear about putting Emerance in daycare or having a baby sitter?"

Looking back at her, I frowned.

"What do you mean? He has nothing to fear, or he shouldn't have anything to fear. It's very different here like you said."

"Yes, it's very different here, but he doesn't know people here and neither do you really. I mean you might know me, but Justin doesn't. Just because it seems safer here doesn't mean that you can go around trusting people right away."

As she spoke she dug her fork into an olive in her salad.

"I know. So tell me how you deal. At one point you're a career woman, how did you deal with having Camille?"

She chuckled.

"I got a babysitter."

"What? But you were just telling me..."

Waving her hand, she stopping me in mid-sentence.

"I know I might have sounded hypocritical for a moment there, but what might be best for Frank and I might not be what's best for you and Justin. I suggest you just talk to Justin. Really sit down and talk to him. Express it to him, give him the pros, while he dishes out the cons. I also suggest that interviewing people together on a day that both of you are off. Explore the idea, make sure that you get across that it's just to see what happens."

We both turned our attention to Em as she began to fuss and I leaned over to unbuckle her. Pulling her out and holding her to my chest, I ran my fingers up and down along the back of my head.

"Justin doesn't want anything to happen to her like he doesn't want anything to happen to you. You just have to understand it from his view. You two are his life." She smiled at me and then rubbed Em's little legs.

"Where have you two been?"

I looked up at Justin and he stood in the entry hall.

"We stayed late at Paige's. Sorry, I forgot to call you."

"It's alright," he said, stepping forward to take Em's carrier so I could drag myself through the door. "Just try not to forget next time. I worry."

I gave him a weak smile in return.

He carried Emerance into the living room and set her carrier on the floor next to the sofa.

"Hi babygirl," he said softly, undoing her straps.

She was barely awake, after having someone playing with her and in her face all day. I'm pretty sure she just wanted her last bottle for the night, and a good night's sleep.

"Babygirl, babygirl. Did you miss Daddy today?" He tucked her against himself, leaning back against the seat.

Emerance yawned and snuggled against him. He smiled and pinched her cheek lightly before rubbing it.

"Those are your cheeks," he teased as I headed past him and into the kitchen.

"That is your nose," I commented.

I removed one of her bottles from the fridge and zapped it in the microwave for a minute. After testing it on my wrist I headed back into the living room and handed it to Justin before sitting in the chair across from him.

"She had a long day today huh?" He asked.

She was already half way to sleep when he put the bottle to her lips. She started to suck half-heartedly, some of it spilling out onto her chin.

"Yeah. Paige didn't let her rest for a second. They were playing and giggling."

Everything was quiet for a moment, Justin watching Emerance to make sure she didn't choke or make a complete mess of herself.

"Jay, I know you don't like the idea of us having babysitter," I began.

Instantly Justin's eyes rolled, but he tried to hide it.

"But I was thinking that maybe we could just talk to some people and see what happens. We might find someone we like-."

"I'm not going to like anyone," he muttered.

"I just think it'd be good to get a feel for the situation, ya know. Maybe I'll see that everyone potential babysitter is horrible and we'll come up with a new plan."

He half shrugged, still watching Em.

"Maybe we could put out an ad and doing interviews next weekend."

He shrugged again, and the nodded grimly.

"We'll look. I ain't saying it's cool with me, but we'll look."

"That's all I'm asking."

Twenty minutes later Emerance was fast asleep in her bed, I was barely keeping my eyes open, and I finally found my husband sitting at the dining room table in the dark.

"Are you hungry honey? Did you find something for dinner?"

Maybe he was sitting there to try to give me a hint.

"No, I'm good. I ate some left overs."

I walked up behind him, sliding my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder.

"How was your day?"

He sighed.

"I feel like my arms are about to fall off."

"Why?"

"Have you ever had to move cinder blocks?"

"No."

He patted my arm.

"Then you wouldn't understand."

He stood up and I followed him into the kitchen.

"Are you sure you're not hungry? Last chance call for me to make you something."

I had my back turned to him when he came up behind me, spinning me around and pushing me up against the fridge. I let out a shriek before I could help myself and covered my mouth, both of us freezing to see if we could hear any noises from Emerance's room. When it became apparent that Em was asleep, I giggled softly.

"If you wanted something all you had to do was ask me, not attack me."

He flashed me a toothy grin.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm... pregnancy did your body good girl."

I giggled bashfully, like a schoolgirl.

"I almost forgot to ask you, how was your day today, Mrs. Timberlake?"

As he spoke, he was pressing me even harder against the fridge, hungrily eyeing my body.

"Well, it was lovely Mr. Timberlake."

I had to pause for a moment when he began to kiss my neck.

"I had a wonderful afternoon, lunching with Paige, followed by a magical ride home in the dark, and now I need to prepare for a long day in the shop tomorrow."

"Whew! That sounds very tiring. I suppose you want to head to bed now? Rest up for the long day tomorrow?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, let me help you with that, Mrs. Timberlake. I wouldn't want you to over-exert that pretty little body of yours."

The next thing I knew, I was upside down, staring at the kitchen tile as the refrigerator got further and further away.

"Justin!"

"Shhh."

"Wait, Justin, you're going to wake Em."

"You just have to be quiet."

Chapter Two

"Baby!"

"What?"

"Bacon or sausage?"

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes and turned toward the bedroom.

"Bacon or sausage?!"

"Shhh!" Justin appeared in the doorway, buttoning up his shirt.

"You'll wake the baby," he whispered.

His expression was a little annoyed, because I should have known that already.

"Sorry," I whispered loudly.

Actually, I was surprised she hadn't woken up yet on her own. It was 5:30am and usually she was up at the crack of dawn.

"Bacon," he answered.

I turned back towards the counter, dropping two pieces of bacon onto his plate. I carried it out into the dining room and set it at the single place setting I'd set up for him. He came in just as I dropped the fork next to it, sliding into his seat.

"Thanks baby," he said, already starting to spoon pieces of the eggs and grits into his mouth.

I sat down next to him, resting my elbow on the table and my chin in my palm.

"The Lynnbrook Apartments again today?" I asked.

He shook his head, pausing for a moment to answer.

"Naw, we're working on the Barron Gardens today. I think Lynnbrook had some kind of permit problem."

I nodded.

"What do you got going on today?"

"Not much," I said, scratching at the back of my head inconspicuously. "I might go into the shop for a bit and check up on the girls, do a little bit of cleaning around here...."

"Cool, cool," he nodded.

"...And I was thinking about looking at some nanny ads."

Justin paused, his fork centimeters from his lips.

"What?"

"I just want to get an idea about some possible options. You know, learn what the prices are, what qualities to look for, that kind of thing."

"Lee, we already talked about this."

Inwardly I rolled my eyes. I hadn't forgotten our conversation days before, but I was hoping he'd had a change of heart.

"I know, but we agreed we'd cross that bridge when it came right? But I figure, the sooner we start to sort of kind of look a little bit, the better our chances of finding someone great will be because we'll have more time."

And I'd got to thinking about all the possibilities for me. I could go to work in peace, do a little pampering now and then. Justin and I could go to dinner and movie once in awhile, just like a real couple!

"Lee, you already know how I feel about this. I don't want some stranger, with her dirty slimy boyfriends, in here watching my daughter. Why can't we get one of the girls from the shop to watch her on the side?"

"Because the girls at the shop have day jobs working at the shop. When they get off of work they want to go home, not to their bosses' house to work some more."

"Well one of the guys at my job offered...."

"You want to leave her with some dusty, smelly construction worker but not an experienced childcare provider?" I scoffed. "She needs someone who knows what they are doing, and who has some education when it comes to kids. A good nanny might even be able to teach us a thing or two about parenting."

Justin's eyes narrowed on me. He didn't like anyone giving input on how he should raise his baby girl.

"Aleena Timberlake, you listen to me and you listen good." He lifted an arm to point a finger at me. "You stop with all of this nanny, daycare, and babysitter stuff. We don't need some person coming in our and corrupting our baby. I'm her Daddy and you're her Mama and she's best taken care of when she's with one of us. And I damn sure don't need no stranger to tell me jack about my kid."

My eyes narrowed back at him, but I kept my mouth shut. Justin stared at me for a moment before turning back to his plate and glancing at this watch.

"Dammit!!"

His yell made me jump, and I heard Emerance begin to fuss.

"Son of a bitch, I'm late," he shoved a few more scoopfuls into his mouth before dropping his fork and jumping up and heading to the hallway to grab his things.

I tapped my finger on the table. He always used my full name when I was in trouble. It made me feel like a little kid getting caught by my Mother.

"I should have left it as Robertson," I muttered.

I trotted off to Emerance's nursery. She was lying on her back, kicking her feet into the air. I picked her up, leaning her head onto my chest and she quieted. When I got back to the living room Justin was by the door shrugging on his black jacket.

"Baby girl," he smiled.

I stopped in front of him and he leaned down, kissing Emerance's head and making sweet noises to her. Em cooed happily.

"She woke up just in time," I said.

"I know," he smiled, running a hand over her head.

Then he looked at me and his smile faded a little.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you before. It's just that you see those hidden camera TV shows all the time, people doing horrible stuff to kids. It's got me trippin' a little. We'll talk about it some more later, okay?"

I nodded, looking down at my daughter.

"You don't want to be too late. Say bye-bye Daddy." I waved her arm at him.

"Bye-bye sweet angel," he kissed her head.

"Bye." I got a kiss goodbye as well.

"Bye."

As soon as the door closed Em starting hollering. She was a Daddy's girl, I swear. She whaled for an hour straight before Erika called.

"Good Lord, what is all that noise?" She said.

I could see her wince all the way from Virginia Beach as I switched Em to my other shoulder.

"That is my wonderful daughter, mad because her Daddy went to work."

"Damn. Well tell his ass to come back home and skip a day. That sounds awful."

"Don't I know it. I'm the one sitting here with her," I sighed. "I like this parenthood thing, right? It's joyful and rewarding?"

Erika made a 'psssh' noise.

"From what I hear, but girl I ain't in no hurry."

"So what's the news back home?"

"Tanya got a new boyfriend."

"Oh, is it Tuesday already?"

"Yep! She's right on schedule. I swear that girl's vagina is a revolving door."

I had to chuckle at that one. Erika was messed up, but it was true.

"So, how are things with you and D?" I asked rubbing a pacifier against Em's lips for a few seconds until she latched on to it.

"Well honey, it's going. That's all I can say."

"Doesn't sound promising."

"Well shit, you know I'm not to use to no long-term thing. So it is a struggle because I'm always thinking when is he going to leave," she laughed.

I bounced my leg gently as Em stared up at me, clutching onto my finger.

"Erika you're crazy. You just need some stability in your life that's all. You are like Justin when we were first together he wasn't use to it and it was hard for him, but when you love someone, Erika, it makes it easier."

"Yeah yeah," she sighed.

"Mmhmm..."

"But anyways, how's the whole babysitter idea going with Justin?"

"We actually got into an argument about it this morning, but he said we would talk about it later."

"Mmhmm, he said that the last time right?"

"Right."

"So, he ain't trying to hear it Leena. What you need to do is go ahead and just do it yourself. Find a babysitter, have interviews without Justin knowing until you found one that you are comfortable with and then invite her to the house for dinner and very casually say why the girls' there. He has no choice but to go along with it. Give Justin a reason to like the girl, you know? Emerance is your child, she came out of your vagina, you the one with the baby fat. Why in the hell can't you take a break from motherhood and have sometime for yourself after dealing with all his shit for the past two years and add a baby on top of that? You got yourself a shop now. You got a career to think about too, shit! So, you can do whatever you want. Fuck him."

I bit down onto my bottom lip knowing that Erika was somewhat right. I agreed with a lot of the things she said.

"I get it Erika, but marriage is about compromising and coming to terms on something together. I just can't up and make a big decision like this without considering Justin's thoughts and feelings."

"Okay you right, you consider his thoughts and feelings but he doesn't care to consider yours as I can see it. So, you do what you got to do baby girl, it's up to you and this is your marriage. But I'm just telling you as a friend to think about the shit you got to deal with. Being a wife, being a mother, and a business owner he can't fault you for wanting a little help. It would be a different story if you lived near family and all your friends or his peoples, but you don't! You had to move because of all his shit. And--."

I had to cut her off because Erika was getting too upset.

"Alright Erika I get it, I'll think about it. But let me go and get Em ready for the day. I'll call you later and tell you what I decided."

"Alright. Send the baby my love."

" I will."

"Think about what I said Leena. This is your baby too, and your life also. So you got to think about what's best for her. And for you because you're no good to anyone worn out and tired and on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"Okay girl, bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and placing it back on the charge on the end table. I looked down at Em as she sucked on her pacifier, quietly looking up at me. I ran my finger tips over her soft plump cheeks.

"Maybe Aunt Erika is right. I'm no good to you being all worn out all the time. It will only be for a couple of hours each day, mostly nights until Daddy gets home from work while I'm at the shop. Maybe just a couple of interviews without Daddy knowing, huh?"

Em smiled slowly from behind her pacifier and then continued to suck. I couldn't help but giggle.

"I know, Mommy's bad. Let's get you ready."

I rose from the couch and placed her on my shoulder as we made our way down the hall into her bedroom to get her dressed.

An hour and half later, Em and I were in the car heading down to the shop to stop by for a few moments to collect rental booth money and to make a deposit at the bank. Once arrived at the shop, I retrieved Em from the back seat, carrying her into the shop to be greeted first by Michelle.

"Hey Leena girl."

"Good Morning everybody," I addressed followed by random burst of hey's and hello's.

Michelle walked over after rubbing her hands with anti-bacterial gel, kneeling down a bit as she came closer.

"Is that our precious baby, the shops pride and joy?"

I laughed softly, setting the carrier in a nearby empty seat so Michelle could take her out as I pulled off my jacket.

"She might be a bit fussy still. She woke up to her Daddy leaving."

Michelle scooped her out and cradled her in her arms.

"Oh, she's just a sweetie, a true Daddy's girl. I was one to honey until that good for nothing bastard cheated on my mom with some two cent wh--"

"Michelle!" I growled, eyeing her.

I was careful about what type of language people used around Em. I didn't want her picking up anyone else bad habits, especially Justin's. But he had been really working on it and hardly ever cursed unless it was underneath his breath, and even then I scolded him.

Michelle scrunched up her face.

"My bad Leena. Sorry precious." She rubbed on Em's cheek.

I nodded and smiled, making my way through the shop into the office and walking over to the little built in drop box I had for the girls to drop payments in if I wasn't here. I pulled my key out, unlocked it, and took out the four envelopes. I sat down at the desk and open each one and started counting the money. I was taking out my deposit pouch for the bank when Paige walked in with Em in one hand and a book in the other.

" Hey Ms. Lady."

She sat down in the chair in front of me and I smiled at her in the mist of counting while she sat the white booklet down on my desk.

"I thought about you yesterday while I was out and I happen to come around something interesting."

"What's that?" I asked, writing down the numbers on a sheet, then went back to counting.

"Well," she sat Em down in her lap, bouncing her a little as she supported her head.

"I came across a Nanny agency. I had heard about it before actually, some of the women in my neighborhood has been using this agency for years. But, anyway, so I stopped in and got a booklet for you. They have extensive background checks periodically, random drug screenings, the nannies even have to take child care classes to brush up on their skills. I mean these are women that go through so many classes before they can even be considered for the agency. Take a look."

I stopped writing down numbers and took the book starting to look through it.

"They have psychological testing and physical exams to, just to make sure they are physically able to do their job. They look into their history and everything, even family history."

"Family history?"

Paige nodded, smiling down at Em as she cooed.

"Yeah, so you should go home and show that to Justin. You can also go interview nannies yourself with the help of the people in order to find the best person to suit you and your lifestyle. The representative told me that there aren't hardly any other agencies that do this in depth stuff. They take this very seriously."

"I bet they're very expensive too." I flipped through it to look at the rates and my eyes bugged out of my head.

"Yeah a bit on the expensive side, but worth it from what I hear," Paige shrugged.

I looked at her and then back down at the booklet thinking maybe this will help to at least get Justin to agree to going to the agency to visit.

"Also, I mentioned this thing to Michelle, and one of Michelle's clients used to work there part time, and she gave me her number in case you wanted to give her a call. She said she doesn't charge half as much as they do. I wrote her name and number on the back of the booklet. Dakota Running I believe her name is. She from Chicago also, moved out her two years ago."

"Really?"

I raised my eyebrow. Her being from Chicago was definitely an edge in my battle with Justin, but could also be a bad one. He hadn't exactly had the best experiences in Chicago.

Paige nodded.

"She is a sweet young woman, very polite. I absolutely love her just from the moments I've talked to her. Very wise."

I nodded again.

"How about you just give her a call, have lunch or something with her? Nothing serious, just get to know her yourself and then bring it to Justin when you are comfortable."

"I don't know Paige."

"I know you don't know, but there's nothing wrong with lunch."

Paige winked while standing up, walking over to the side to hand Em over to me and I curled her up in my arm.

"You're right. Maybe lunch would be okay."

"Of course. A woman's got to eat. Why not have company?" Paige chuckled.

The she turned on her heels and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her and leaving me staring into space. I turned over the booklet to see the woman's number.

"Nothing wrong with lunch," I whispered.

After leaving the shop and making a bank run, I made my way back to the house, constantly thinking about whether or not to call the girl or check out the agency. I unlocked the front door and walked inside the apartment, placing Em's carrier on the coffee table while I pulled off my jacket. Then I pulled her out of her seat, taking her into her room and putting her into something more comfortable. Next I gave her a bottle and placed her in the little electronic swing Justin had brought not too long ago. While she nodded off in the swing I went around the house cleaning up a bit, saving the vacuuming for another time, not wanting to wake her up. Then I cooked myself something to eat and sat out some frozen chicken for later on when Justin got home.

I sat at the kitchen table with my spaghetti TV dinner, mini salad, and a glass of iced tea; sweet tea was what they called down here in the South. I read over the pamphlet front to back and knew that the prices were a bit too steep for Justin and me. It would put us on a tight budget and we didn't need the extra stress. We were doing just fine even with me working select hours. I got up from the table and grabbed the phone then sat back down.

"Nothing wrong with lunch Em, just going to meet the girl."

I spoke out loud, trying to convince myself that I wasn't going behind Justin's back and I shouldn't feel as bad as I felt. I just knew that we needed help somehow before we both burnt ourselves out. It would only be for a couple of months, not years. Finally convinced I pushed the talk button and began to dial.

A black SUV pulled up into the parking lot of Justin and Aleena's apartment complex. It parked a couple of rows back from their actual apartment so they could have a good view of anything that happened.

"201 B. There it is."

A man pointed with his lit cigar, the car littered with smoke. The large black man puffed his cigar as he looked over to his partner, who sat in the driver seat gripping the steering wheel. He was light skinned and a bit smaller than the overweight man in the passenger seat.

"We should just go in there and lit her up."

The large man chuckled heavily.

"Calm down Leon, we gonna get her and that bitch ass man of hers. Thinking he could kill our family like that and get away with it."

"I wanna watch that white nigga die slowly. Come on Trey, let's go in there and at least get that bitch and her kid."

Leon was fidgeting in his seat with anticipation.

"Nigga, I said calm down! We going to get him when they less expect it. Hell, they don't expected anything at all. I'm telling you I got a plan in the works. The good thing is that his female got a mind of her own. But instead of him dying slowly, the best way to get to a man like him is take what matters most to him and let him watch it disappear before his eyes. Fuck with a dude's mind, his livelihood, what makes him happy. That's how we going to do it. We ain't going to let this nigga have the easy road out."

"There that punk ass go right there."

Leon pointed from within their darkly tinted windows, they were unable to see from the outside in. They watched Justin pull up into his assigned parking spot beside Leena's car, get out, close and lock his door. Then he jogged up the stair case, unlocked his front door, and disappeared inside.

"Yeah, we going to get that nigga. We going to get him."

Trey smiled as he puffed on his cigar, nodding his head.

I was hanging up the phone after setting a date with Dakota just as Justin was unlocking the door. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen, shoved the pamphlet into a draw and closed it.

"Where are my ladies at?" I heard him call.

I took a deep breath and came out of the kitchen smiling.

"Baby? What you doing home so early?" I asked, looking at the watch on my wrist. It was only two o'clock.

He smiled, pulling off his jacket and pulling it on the hook by the door.

"Early day."

He smiled, walking over to Em as she slept in the swing. He bent down to stop the swing and kiss her on the cheeks before he moved over to me gripping my waist and pulling me to him giving me a kiss as well, but on the lips.

"How's your day been going Mrs. Timberlake?"

He let his kisses trail over to my neck as I closed my eyes with a sigh. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we began to sway from side to side.

"It was good. Stopped by the shop, made a deposit at the bank, and came home to clean. How was work?"

I rubbed the back of his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding onto me and kissing my forehead.

"I missed you and Em. And I've been thinking," he pulled back enough to look at me and I smiled.

"About what?"

He sighed, closing his eyes briefly and then open them again.

"I gave a thought to this whole babysitting thing, and I came up with just maybe, we could just look into."

My eyes beamed and a smile grew in excitement. It was very rare that Justin gave into something. Most of the time he stuck to his guns.

"Really? REALLY?!"

"Shhh!" He shushed me, glancing over to Em.

When he saw that she didn't move turned back to me.

"Yeah, but only looking into it Aleena. That doesn't mean I want to do it. I'm just entertaining the idea, doesn't mean I agree to it. We're ust looking into it."

He eyed me sternly, making sure I understood how uncommitted he was being about this. I nodded, calming down and kissing his nose.

"I'm glad we are looking into it. Thank you baby."

I held onto his cheeks and kissed him deeply, letting out my discontent about the booklet hidden in the kitchen.

"Your welcome." He whispered against my lips.

I figured would show him the booklet after dinner tonight so we could start to get any idea of what we were looking for. I'd save telling him about my luncheon with Dakota for tomorrow. He needed a night of love making to lessen the shock.