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What would you do in this situation? Race related.

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Purplelilac82	What would you do in this situation? Race related.		Lead	[-]
Posts: 24644 05/27/2012 11:14 PM	So last night I was at a wedding in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin. My boyfriend and I were at the reception hall and hitched a ride with the complimentary shuttle. We shared it with a middle age white couple and they were VERY DRUNK. They were running their mouth the entire ride and just being overall obnoxious. What did it for me is when we drove past by a guy pulled over by cops. The guy who was pulled over was white, but the drunken middle aged man still felt compelled to say 'ha! that guy pulled over is probably a black football player raping a white woman." what?? My boyfriend was appalled he said something so horrible, but honestly I was indifferent. This is NOT the first time some drunken white person has felt comfortable saying stupid shit to me before. Anyways, I told some friends about this and they should've cussed this man out. Honestly, what should I have done. Would there even be a point in saying something? I just got out of the car and left as soon as I could.
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Purplelilac82		#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 24644 05/28/2012 12:27 AM	bump? No one?
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xoinnocentjrtgrl		#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 79283 05/28/2012 12:31 AM MOD bestie! Derp Jr '13 Grumpy Cat '13 Biggest Dennis Stan '12, '13	It was probably best you didn't say anything. I would have understood if you had said something, though.
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franknbeans82		#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 54622 05/28/2012 12:38 AM	idk that it's even worth saying something. ignorant fools like him enjoy being that way, so you're probably not going to change his mind. plus, i bet more than anything he would've played dumb, like he didn't say anything wrong, and would've accused you of being too sensitive or pulling the race card.
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Purplelilac82		#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 24644 05/28/2012 12:42 AM	I didn't have the energy for his ridiculous comments. I agree...people choose to remain ignorant and you can't change that in a 10 minute car ride. Alcohol just makes ignorant people more ignorant. It's so scary that there are everyday people like this.
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DestiniofJurni		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 783 05/28/2012 12:43 AM	I know what you mean and sometimes I wonder if I'm too complacent but I just can't see myself "going off" on every ignorant racist remark that I hear. Most of the time, I make a mental note to myself to avoid this person in the future or remind myself that I'll probably never see them again anyway. I care. I really do. In my ideal world, we would all be treated fairly & equally regardless of what we look like. But when I look at what our fore-fathers did during civil rights, that shit looks exhausting. Sure, we can all pee & study together, but all of that and it still didn't stop the racist thoughts & ideas from breeding and permeating so is there really something I can contribute to the solution by "going off"? And this is not to demean the value of civil rights. I'm incredibly grateful that they endured it because I don't know if I could. But that's also why I wonder if I'm too complacent. When I see or hear racist people, I normally run in the other direction (especially if they're white, tbh. I don't want to be killed on the street while my murderer gets a police escort home). So, anyway, I think you can only react how you react. If you felt comfortable with your non-response, then go with that. And if you feel the need to speak up, then go with that. And please know that they can call me (or any other blacks for that matter) whatever they want in Wisconsin and I won't get indignant until I'm tucked back safely on the south side of Chicago.
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mableberry		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 397 05/28/2012 12:46 AM	If he were sober I think I would've said something but very drunk people frighten me with their unpredictability sometimes. Anyway, we all have ideas about what we should/would do in those scenarios it's different when you're in the moment. Those comments sound appalling though never a surprise, sadly.
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JCcai		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1730 05/28/2012 12:48 AM	You cannot argue with a lush... you'll never win and end up being more angry because you'll definitely be hearing some more stupid shit.
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Purplelilac82		#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 24644 05/28/2012 12:54 AM	DestiniofJurni wrote: I know what you mean and sometimes I wonder if I'm too complacent but I just can't see myself "going off" on every ignorant racist remark that I hear. Most of the time, I make a mental note to myself to avoid this person in the future or remind myself that I'll probably never see them again anyway. I care. I really do. In my ideal world, we would all be treated fairly & equally regardless of what we look like. But when I look at what our fore-fathers did during civil rights, that shit looks exhausting. Sure, we can all pee & study together, but all of that and it still didn't stop the racist thoughts & ideas from breeding and permeating so is there really something I can contribute to the solution by "going off"? And this is not to demean the value of civil rights. I'm incredibly grateful that they endured it because I don't know if I could. But that's also why I wonder if I'm too complacent. When I see or hear racist people, I normally run in the other direction (especially if they're white, tbh. I don't want to be killed on the street while my murderer gets a police escort home). So, anyway, I think you can only react how you react. If you felt comfortable with your non-response, then go with that. And if you feel the need to speak up, then go with that. And please know that they can call me (or any other blacks for that matter) whatever they want in Wisconsin and I won't get indignant until I'm tucked back safely on the south side of Chicago. I agreed with everything you said. I feel i was born in the time period I was supposed to be born in. I wouldn't have made it on the plantation. For real. but at the same time I'm just so amazed at the strength, perseverence that came out o that whole situation. It's really amazing when you think about it. But I guess if there was a life situation as awful as this, you would have to will yourself to persevere. I don't know if I'm complacent as I am indifferent and that scares me. I wonder if I should be up in arms when people say something so horrible. I come from a different word and sadly I am used to this shit. I have no reason to ever go back to Wisconsin, but yes racist are everywhere.
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JCinWrappingPaper		#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 8798 05/28/2012 1:10 AM	I honestly don't think it would have done any good considering they are strangers. They are middle aged, so they have been holding on to their racist opinion for decades now, and they will simply brush off anything you have to say about it. So yeah, I think it was perfectly fine of you to not say anything about it. It's not like you raising a fuss on the shuttle will suddenly make them see the light. Now a close friend making an ignorant comment? That you can call them out on, and because they are your friend they will respect what you have to say and hopefully change their way of thinking.
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YellowStar09		#10	[url]	[-]
Posts: 13273 05/28/2012 1:20 AM Needs Attention '12 Petition Maker '13	If it would have made you feel better than yes-- you should have said something. But, it doesn't seem like it would so who cares? There's no point.
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orangepeel19		#11	[url]	[-]
Posts: 22687 05/28/2012 1:21 AM Friendliest JJBer '09	Yeah I wouldn't argue with a drunk person because it's pretty much a no-win situation.
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Meesh		#12	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1630 05/28/2012 1:34 AM	That's awful. :-/
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DestiniofJurni		#13	[url]	[-]
Posts: 783 05/28/2012 1:44 AM	Purplelilac82 wrote: DestiniofJurni wrote: I know what you mean and sometimes I wonder if I'm too complacent but I just can't see myself "going off" on every ignorant racist remark that I hear. Most of the time, I make a mental note to myself to avoid this person in the future or remind myself that I'll probably never see them again anyway. I care. I really do. In my ideal world, we would all be treated fairly & equally regardless of what we look like. But when I look at what our fore-fathers did during civil rights, that shit looks exhausting. Sure, we can all pee & study together, but all of that and it still didn't stop the racist thoughts & ideas from breeding and permeating so is there really something I can contribute to the solution by "going off"? And this is not to demean the value of civil rights. I'm incredibly grateful that they endured it because I don't know if I could. But that's also why I wonder if I'm too complacent. When I see or hear racist people, I normally run in the other direction (especially if they're white, tbh. I don't want to be killed on the street while my murderer gets a police escort home). So, anyway, I think you can only react how you react. If you felt comfortable with your non-response, then go with that. And if you feel the need to speak up, then go with that. And please know that they can call me (or any other blacks for that matter) whatever they want in Wisconsin and I won't get indignant until I'm tucked back safely on the south side of Chicago. I agreed with everything you said. I feel i was born in the time period I was supposed to be born in. I wouldn't have made it on the plantation. For real. but at the same time I'm just so amazed at the strength, perseverence that came out o that whole situation. It's really amazing when you think about it. But I guess if there was a life situation as awful as this, you would have to will yourself to persevere. I don't know if I'm complacent as I am indifferent and that scares me. I wonder if I should be up in arms when people say something so horrible. I come from a different word and sadly I am used to this shit. I have no reason to ever go back to Wisconsin, but yes racist are everywhere. This. My indifference does scare me sometimes but I also think that we just haven't quite found the solution to hate. Marching & protesting helped a great deal, more than we can express. It did solve the problem of some of the more tangible aspects of racism and prejudice. And now, maybe it's on us to continue to work at solving the intangibles. And that's where the question marks begin for me, lol. I know that yelling isn't the answer but I often think that silence isn't either. I will say that I do what I can. And I think that's the best that anyone can ask for. We've got to be wise and prudent and no matter how you slice it, arguing with a drunk racist in the middle of Wisconsin is neither wise nor prudent. I think you did the best thing that night. And I also think you've helped in a way just by posing this question and launching this discussion.
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dolce55		#14	[url]	[-]
Posts: 9987 05/28/2012 4:58 AM	Nothing good ever happens in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. I had an interesting experience visiting old family friends that lived in a town consisting of 500 ppl and not one of them was black. The entire town was notified that we were there. Our second day there everywhere we stopped ppl would say, "oh you're the family that we heard about last night! You're not bad!" Anyway, I wouldn't have chased him out but I most definitely would have said something. I tend to keep my mouth shut whenever ppl make dumb comments but sometimes things do need to be said.
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lilacrose82		#15	[url]	[-]
Posts: 36487 05/28/2012 5:11 AM	Nothing. It won't change anything, especially in Bumblefuck, Wisconsin.
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saturn02		#16	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2453 05/28/2012 5:51 AM	You did the right thing by saying nothing: a) cussing someone out or being belligerent is only going to fan the flames of their own racist assumptions about black people crass and violent b) if they are middle-aged and don't know any black people, chances are they're not going to change now, so not worth the energy c) You can feel good about yourself rising above their ignorance and keeping it classy. I've been in this situation before and it's about picking and choosing your battles. And a couple of drunk sad bigots who will probably forget all about the incident when they sober up is not a battle worth fighting.
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JoeyLondon		#17	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2507 05/28/2012 6:07 AM	JCcai wrote: You cannot argue with a lush... you'll never win and end up being more angry because you'll definitely be hearing some more stupid shit. TRUTH. The only time I have ever, ever slapped someone was my drunk friend because she was being ridiculous. But I've argued with drunks many times (mostly over getting their car keys) and you're the one who ends up remembering in the morning and getting pissed off.
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franknbeans82		#18	[url]	[-]
Posts: 54622 05/28/2012 11:51 AM	saturn02 wrote: You did the right thing by saying nothing: a) cussing someone out or being belligerent is only going to fan the flames of their own racist assumptions about black people crass and violent that would have been funny since the whole incident began with the middle aged guy being extremely crass. odd that only black people get pegged that way, even when the person stereotyping is exhibiting the exact same behavior.
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Purplelilac82		#19	[url]	[-]
Posts: 24644 05/28/2012 2:56 PM	franknbeans82 wrote: saturn02 wrote: You did the right thing by saying nothing: a) cussing someone out or being belligerent is only going to fan the flames of their own racist assumptions about black people crass and violent that would have been funny since the whole incident began with the middle aged guy being extremely crass. odd that only black people get pegged that way, even when the person stereotyping is exhibiting the exact same behavior. Exactly. I'm so tired of black people being portrayed as loud, crass and embarrassing when in fact I was the quietest person in that damn car.
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saturn02		#20	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2453 05/28/2012 3:55 PM	Purplelilac82 wrote: franknbeans82 wrote: saturn02 wrote: You did the right thing by saying nothing: a) cussing someone out or being belligerent is only going to fan the flames of their own racist assumptions about black people crass and violent that would have been funny since the whole incident began with the middle aged guy being extremely crass. odd that only black people get pegged that way, even when the person stereotyping is exhibiting the exact same behavior. Exactly. I'm so tired of black people being portrayed as loud, crass and embarrassing when in fact I was the quietest person in that damn car. But that's how racism, or any opinion for that matter, works. It doesn't matter what we know to be true, it the perception people have of us and if we continue to feed the perception we're doing ourselves no favour. If I do feel something is being done or said worth commenting on I'd rather come across as a logical and witty person rather than the typical Muary Povich guest.
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What would you do in this situation? Race related.

What would you do in this situation? Race related.